Anonymous
07/11/2023 08:40
Subject: Jonah Hill
Anonymous wrote:This is an old story that can apply to either sex, but in this case, the insecure guy thinks the surfer girl is hot, so sexy. He stares at her pictures on IG, loves that she’s a model, and thinks it’s cool that she surfs. Then, he gets into a relationship with the cool, hot girl and he feels insecure, but rather than dealing with his own feelings or approaching the situation in a healthy way, he tries to control everything about her to make himself feel better.
There was a whole tweet thread yesterday - I think - about flight attendants who run into this too. They meet rich men who love that they're pretty, adventurous, outgoing, all that - then the men try to take all that away from them, once they are in a relationship. The thread was by someone who used to be a flight attendant and is now a professor.
I can't find the thread because when you search Twitter for flight attendant you just get a lot of porn. But yeah, sounds like a very similar dynamic. It's like Boxing Helena, too, if anyone remembers that old movie.
Anonymous
07/11/2023 08:30
Subject: Jonah Hill
Anonymous wrote:The texts reflect a bad boyfriend I wouldn’t want to date. But not exactly a #metoo situation. Agree it makes the ex look bad.
+1. I'm as #MeToo as the next person, but I don't think every relationship interaction is up for being evaluated under #MeToo.
Anonymous
07/11/2023 07:58
Subject: Jonah Hill
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:One thing I think people in this thread are glossing over is that social media engagement is effectively her job/a major part of her job. Following his rules would be akin to asking her to quit her job and become financially dependent on him after only a few months of dating. Which is creepy and weird.
I still think she should never have released these, but his “boundaries” (not boundaries at all, rules for her life) were not reasonable.
Yes, this. Boundaries are something you won't do, not something that you won't let other people do.
This is true but people get very good at twisting it because a lot of people do mostly just want to control other people.
Like in his texts, he’s basically framing it as “I won’t be in a relationship with someone who does XYZ.” So it sounds like he’s talking about his own boundaries.
But it doesn’t make sense because he knowingly entered into a relationship with someone who does those things, in fact he entered the relationship BECAUSE she does some of those things (if she wasn’t a surfer who posts bikini pics, he would never have DMed her).
So he can make it appear that he is simply talking about his limits, but it’s actually manipulative because he had different limits before and us suddenly changing them now that he feels he can.
That’s what people are identifying as an abusive behavior. If Hill doesn’t want to date women who do these things, he has the power to just… not date them. He CHOSE to start a relationship with someone who behaves in a way he thinks “violates his boundaries” but then assumed that he could change/control her once they were dating. That’s manipulative.
Most likely he was on a power trip due to his fame, and figured if she got a taste of dating a celebrity his level (red carpets, getting recognized, etc.), she would agree to change he behavior and personality to stay with him. Again: manipulative and disturbing.
If these were actually his boundaries, he would never need to articulate them this way. He’d just choose partners accordingly. These texts are actually all about seeing if she will acquiesce to not having her own boundaries, and letting him dictate the parameters of her own life. It’s a test.
You’re assuming his text happened in a vaccuum where he decided to text her to give her a list of his boundaries.
The reality is that this likely wasn’t just done as a declaration of boundaries but a response to various conversations, behaviours, situations and his text was likely part of a longer conversation. It has been chopped and presented as a stand alone list of boundaries but it is highly unlikely that is really what it was.
Without knowing the context and the conversation it was a part of, you are just making assumptions based on your own biases and creation of a context to fit your interpretation. Look at your own texts. If an angry ex decided to selectively pick texts, remove all context and then say you were x or y or z and this text shows it., you likely wouldn’t agree that context is irrelevant.
PP here. I disagree with this woman’s decision to release these texts and I’m sure there are nuances to their relationship we aren’t getting. I would assume from her behavior (the choice and timing of releasing these texts) that she has her own issues and problematic behaviors.
But the contours of what I just described are, I think, accurate. In his texts, he’s asking her to cease behaviors that she quite obviously engaged in regularly before they started dating, and that he must have been aware of. He knew how she posted online, knew her lifestyle. Based on her texts, it’s clear that he didn’t agree with all those choices. But then he CHOSE to pursue and later tried to change these things about her. That’s not “having boundaries.” It’s a power trip.
Anonymous
07/11/2023 07:43
Subject: Jonah Hill
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:One thing I think people in this thread are glossing over is that social media engagement is effectively her job/a major part of her job. Following his rules would be akin to asking her to quit her job and become financially dependent on him after only a few months of dating. Which is creepy and weird.
I still think she should never have released these, but his “boundaries” (not boundaries at all, rules for her life) were not reasonable.
Yes, this. Boundaries are something you won't do, not something that you won't let other people do.
This is true but people get very good at twisting it because a lot of people do mostly just want to control other people.
Like in his texts, he’s basically framing it as “I won’t be in a relationship with someone who does XYZ.” So it sounds like he’s talking about his own boundaries.
But it doesn’t make sense because he knowingly entered into a relationship with someone who does those things, in fact he entered the relationship BECAUSE she does some of those things (if she wasn’t a surfer who posts bikini pics, he would never have DMed her).
So he can make it appear that he is simply talking about his limits, but it’s actually manipulative because he had different limits before and us suddenly changing them now that he feels he can.
That’s what people are identifying as an abusive behavior. If Hill doesn’t want to date women who do these things, he has the power to just… not date them. He CHOSE to start a relationship with someone who behaves in a way he thinks “violates his boundaries” but then assumed that he could change/control her once they were dating. That’s manipulative.
Most likely he was on a power trip due to his fame, and figured if she got a taste of dating a celebrity his level (red carpets, getting recognized, etc.), she would agree to change he behavior and personality to stay with him. Again: manipulative and disturbing.
If these were actually his boundaries, he would never need to articulate them this way. He’d just choose partners accordingly. These texts are actually all about seeing if she will acquiesce to not having her own boundaries, and letting him dictate the parameters of her own life. It’s a test.
You’re assuming his text happened in a vaccuum where he decided to text her to give her a list of his boundaries.
The reality is that this likely wasn’t just done as a declaration of boundaries but a response to various conversations, behaviours, situations and his text was likely part of a longer conversation. It has been chopped and presented as a stand alone list of boundaries but it is highly unlikely that is really what it was.
Without knowing the context and the conversation it was a part of, you are just making assumptions based on your own biases and creation of a context to fit your interpretation. Look at your own texts. If an angry ex decided to selectively pick texts, remove all context and then say you were x or y or z and this text shows it., you likely wouldn’t agree that context is irrelevant.
Anonymous
07/11/2023 07:26
Subject: Jonah Hill
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:One thing I think people in this thread are glossing over is that social media engagement is effectively her job/a major part of her job. Following his rules would be akin to asking her to quit her job and become financially dependent on him after only a few months of dating. Which is creepy and weird.
I still think she should never have released these, but his “boundaries” (not boundaries at all, rules for her life) were not reasonable.
Yes, this. Boundaries are something you won't do, not something that you won't let other people do.
This is true but people get very good at twisting it because a lot of people do mostly just want to control other people.
Like in his texts, he’s basically framing it as “I won’t be in a relationship with someone who does XYZ.” So it sounds like he’s talking about his own boundaries.
But it doesn’t make sense because he knowingly entered into a relationship with someone who does those things, in fact he entered the relationship BECAUSE she does some of those things (if she wasn’t a surfer who posts bikini pics, he would never have DMed her).
So he can make it appear that he is simply talking about his limits, but it’s actually manipulative because he had different limits before and us suddenly changing them now that he feels he can.
That’s what people are identifying as an abusive behavior. If Hill doesn’t want to date women who do these things, he has the power to just… not date them. He CHOSE to start a relationship with someone who behaves in a way he thinks “violates his boundaries” but then assumed that he could change/control her once they were dating. That’s manipulative.
Most likely he was on a power trip due to his fame, and figured if she got a taste of dating a celebrity his level (red carpets, getting recognized, etc.), she would agree to change he behavior and personality to stay with him. Again: manipulative and disturbing.
If these were actually his boundaries, he would never need to articulate them this way. He’d just choose partners accordingly. These texts are actually all about seeing if she will acquiesce to not having her own boundaries, and letting him dictate the parameters of her own life. It’s a test.
Very helpful, clear analysis
Anonymous
07/11/2023 07:20
Subject: Jonah Hill
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:One thing I think people in this thread are glossing over is that social media engagement is effectively her job/a major part of her job. Following his rules would be akin to asking her to quit her job and become financially dependent on him after only a few months of dating. Which is creepy and weird.
I still think she should never have released these, but his “boundaries” (not boundaries at all, rules for her life) were not reasonable.
Yes, this. Boundaries are something you won't do, not something that you won't let other people do.
This is true but people get very good at twisting it because a lot of people do mostly just want to control other people.
Like in his texts, he’s basically framing it as “I won’t be in a relationship with someone who does XYZ.” So it sounds like he’s talking about his own boundaries.
But it doesn’t make sense because he knowingly entered into a relationship with someone who does those things, in fact he entered the relationship BECAUSE she does some of those things (if she wasn’t a surfer who posts bikini pics, he would never have DMed her).
So he can make it appear that he is simply talking about his limits, but it’s actually manipulative because he had different limits before and us suddenly changing them now that he feels he can.
That’s what people are identifying as an abusive behavior. If Hill doesn’t want to date women who do these things, he has the power to just… not date them. He CHOSE to start a relationship with someone who behaves in a way he thinks “violates his boundaries” but then assumed that he could change/control her once they were dating. That’s manipulative.
Most likely he was on a power trip due to his fame, and figured if she got a taste of dating a celebrity his level (red carpets, getting recognized, etc.), she would agree to change he behavior and personality to stay with him. Again: manipulative and disturbing.
If these were actually his boundaries, he would never need to articulate them this way. He’d just choose partners accordingly. These texts are actually all about seeing if she will acquiesce to not having her own boundaries, and letting him dictate the parameters of her own life. It’s a test.
Anonymous
07/11/2023 06:49
Subject: Jonah Hill
Anonymous wrote:She was only 25. I wouldn’t have known to leave someone like that, who was rich and famous and interested in me, at 25. If you think it would have been so easy as you say, I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself.
This is true of some people, but not most. By 25, most women are fully adult.
Anonymous
07/11/2023 05:27
Subject: Jonah Hill
I’m a nanny for celebs and truly shocked she didn’t have to sign an nda before their first date. We do NDA’s before a playdate!! He sounds totally insecure and controlling, kind of like most all other celebrities.
Anonymous
07/11/2023 05:22
Subject: Jonah Hill
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He sure moved fast if these texts were happening in December 2021 and his new girlfriend has already had a baby by July 2023.
That's probably what made her angry. He moved on and she's still seething over some texts from an ex she dated a few months sent way back when instead of getting over it.
She’s explained why she waited to post the texts. Also he isn’t going to stick with baby mama
What was her explanation?
Anonymous
07/11/2023 05:21
Subject: Jonah Hill
I don’t understand her waiting to release these texts, until he’s married with a 4 week old baby. She should have released them right after they broke up. Now she just looks dumb and bitter.
Anonymous
07/11/2023 02:41
Subject: Jonah Hill
This is an old story that can apply to either sex, but in this case, the insecure guy thinks the surfer girl is hot, so sexy. He stares at her pictures on IG, loves that she’s a model, and thinks it’s cool that she surfs. Then, he gets into a relationship with the cool, hot girl and he feels insecure, but rather than dealing with his own feelings or approaching the situation in a healthy way, he tries to control everything about her to make himself feel better.
Anonymous
07/10/2023 23:24
Subject: Jonah Hill
Anonymous wrote:She was only 25. I wouldn’t have known to leave someone like that, who was rich and famous and interested in me, at 25. If you think it would have been so easy as you say, I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself.
I stayed far, far away from men over 35 when I was 25. The age gap always skeeved me out, especially if they were rich. No thanks.
Anonymous
07/10/2023 23:01
Subject: Jonah Hill
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:She was only 25. I wouldn’t have known to leave someone like that, who was rich and famous and interested in me, at 25. If you think it would have been so easy as you say, I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself.
She's a professional surfer with sponsorships, model, influencer, etc. She didn't just fall off the turnip truck.
Hmm, and he’s a professional actor with millions of dollars. Really think surfer girl has more power than him?
Please. She only lasted a few months and then came to her senses. Hopefully she had friends and family telling her to get out. But let’s not infantilize her. She made a mistake, she’ll get over it, but let’s it make this into a bigger deal than it is. Jonah is no Harvey Weinstein.
Anonymous
07/10/2023 22:41
Subject: Jonah Hill
Eh. I don’t think this is quite at the abusive level. He seems like a gigantic, insecure loser. The timing of releasing these seems kind of sour grapes. She probably wasn’t attracted to him because he’s unattractive so it’s not really crazy that he would be bothered by her entertaining other men.
Anonymous
07/10/2023 22:22
Subject: Jonah Hill
Anonymous wrote:She was only 25. I wouldn’t have known to leave someone like that, who was rich and famous and interested in me, at 25. If you think it would have been so easy as you say, I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself.
At 25 I would have and so would any of my friends. Besides, he's not attractive and not very smart.