Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It’s their house and it’s the MIL so is she supposed to tell MIL she’s rude and inhospitable?

Just keep the water in your bag when not in use.

Anonymous wrote:DP. No, MIL is unhospitable whether or not anyone says anything. Maybe not raised right, maybe mental problems or even dementia. Regardless, inhospitable behavior, and likely not going to change at this late stage.

Anonymous wrote:Interesting that you are only suggesting MIL wasn’t “raised right” or has dementia when OP clearly blames both in laws for this dynamic.

It's called "responding to a comment." I also didn't include commentary on the last election, because that wasn't what we were talking about.

You don’t find it interesting that FIL was dropped from the discussion? I do.

Anonymous wrote:
It’s their house and it’s the MIL so is she supposed to tell MIL she’s rude and inhospitable?

Just keep the water in your bag when not in use.

Anonymous wrote:DP. No, MIL is unhospitable whether or not anyone says anything. Maybe not raised right, maybe mental problems or even dementia. Regardless, inhospitable behavior, and likely not going to change at this late stage.

Anonymous wrote:Interesting that you are only suggesting MIL wasn’t “raised right” or has dementia when OP clearly blames both in laws for this dynamic.

It's called "responding to a comment." I also didn't include commentary on the last election, because that wasn't what we were talking about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can't be so thirsty that you have to have a glass of water nearby at all times. Just drink at the sink when you need to.

This is not the hill to die on.

What universe do you live in that, when you have guests, they don’t each have their own glass, to refill as needed? Good god.

How does that work? You issue each guest a glass upon arrival? And you're cool with them leaving that glass anywhere (I'm guessing it's monogrammed or something so each guest knows which randomly placed glass is theirs to refill as needed?)

I'm saying OP is overstating her need for constant water on demand -- she could just go drink a glass of water when she's thirsty and put the glass in the dishwasher as MIL prefers.

This business of always having water by your side is a very recent thing. Once upon a time, we drank a glass of water and that was it. We didn't need to continually sip at a nasty, bacteria laden $100 thermos all day long.

Seriously, have you ever hosted people in your home?

Yes, when you have people over you offer them something to drink (or as you would call it, “issuing them a glass”). Then they use that glass while they are having that drink, which they can refill as needed. I’m fine with my guests leaving their one glass “anywhere”, like on the coffee table or kitchen counter, because I’m not insane. I don’t take away my guests’ glasses while they’re still using them. This is truly basic hosting etiquette.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to wonder if all these posts are fake. We don't allow water/drinks all over the house. Keep a bottle in the kitchen or fridge.

You don't allow grown adults to take a glass of water to another room?

People only are allowed to drink in the kitchen? That seems severe. Do you live in a house full of antiques?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When people come to my house, they all usually get their own water glass plus often a wine glass, coffee or tea cup, or other cup. We don’t pick up the glasses and cups until everyone leaves. It’s up to each guest to keep track of their glasses while they’re here. If they forget, they can grab a new one.

It’s rude to keep collecting people’s glasses if they move away to use the bathroom, talk to a different guest, etc. It’s inhospitable.

It’s their house and it’s the MIL so is she supposed to tell MIL she’s rude and inhospitable?

Just keep the water in your bag when not in use.

DP. No, MIL is unhospitable whether or not anyone says anything. Maybe not raised right, maybe mental problems or even dementia. Regardless, inhospitable behavior, and likely not going to change at this late stage.

Interesting that you are only suggesting MIL wasn’t “raised right” or has dementia when OP clearly blames both in laws for this dynamic.

Anonymous wrote:I had a house guest for a few weeks once, she left glasses of water all over the house, on tables, in her bedroom, on book shelves, once she left one on top of her car overnight. She was flakey like that.

If you would have asked her she also would have said she always used a coaster and was just trying to stay hydrated. Nobody with this problem is going to accurately describe their part in the issue.

We didn't make a big deal out of it although it was very frustrating finding these random glasses leaving marks on furniture all over the house. There was no fixing her however. Eventually she left and did not get invited back for more than a few hours visit.

That would be annoying for sure, but your guest isn’t OP and we have no way of knowing that that is what is really going on here, despite what OP is saying.

Also, I’d put up with all of the above if it were my pregnant daughter in law.

My mother in law is also like this. She is a high energy neat freak who will swoop along behind me and pick up a half-full glass of water to clean up. This happened when I went to pee for 2 minutes or sometimes even if DH and I would be watching a movie and I was still sitting next to it. She would sneak up and grab it.

She also goes into the bathroom after I have hung my towel up to dry and re-fold it so it looks neat (but isn't spread out so doesn't dry as fast)

In any event, I could have lived with that except my father in law then became angry his wife was constantly running around "cleaning up" after me and accused me of treating her like a servant. Like I wanted her hovering over me, taking my cups before I finished drinking and refolding the towel I had spread out to dry in my guest bath!

It was a very aggravating dynamic.

Anonymous wrote:I have three kids and am a bit confused by OP’s constant need for water by her side. In any case, just use your water bottle. When you step away, (1) take it with you or (2) place in fridge or bag. Not difficult or something to get worked up over.

Yeah damn those pregnant women who insist on being hydrated. Who do they think they are?!

Anonymous wrote:OP, be grateful for finding out about their OCD and strictness. Now you know that you should never say yes to a "sleepover at grandma and grandpa's" when your child is older. No way I would subject my child to that sort of tense, inhospitable environment.

+1

My inlaws are like this too, and we avoid leaving kids with them or even hanging out with them for very long. Very uptight, yet they wont take their shoes off in our house.

Just don't stay there anymore. This is ridiculous.

Bottled water in your suitcase. Keep it zipped up and take the bottles home with you

There are clearly different philosophies on re-use of cups ... As a host, I'd want to accommodate my guests (and I think the ILs are a little rude) ... but in the OP's situation I would just get a new glass every time (or clue in DH to say 'please just leave it' when OP is clearly not done). It seems wasteful to me, but hey it's your house.

(And agree it's very rude to go into the guest room and grab a bottle that isn't yours, esp from a guest who has explained she wants to have it available).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can't be so thirsty that you have to have a glass of water nearby at all times. Just drink at the sink when you need to.

This is not the hill to die on.

What universe do you live in that, when you have guests, they don’t each have their own glass, to refill as needed? Good god.

How does that work? You issue each guest a glass upon arrival? And you're cool with them leaving that glass anywhere (I'm guessing it's monogrammed or something so each guest knows which randomly placed glass is theirs to refill as needed?)

I'm saying OP is overstating her need for constant water on demand -- she could just go drink a glass of water when she's thirsty and put the glass in the dishwasher as MIL prefers.

This business of always having water by your side is a very recent thing. Once upon a time, we drank a glass of water and that was it. We didn't need to continually sip at a nasty, bacteria laden $100 thermos all day long.

DP, but yes, that's exactly how it works. My mom went and bought like 8 large plastic tumblers in different colors for family guests and she sets them out on the counter and you take one and it's supposed to be your glass for the day. Kids aren't allowed to take them around the house, but adults are treated like adults. The get put in the dishwasher at night and the next day we start anew. It is not a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:I have to wonder if all these posts are fake. We don't allow water/drinks all over the house. Keep a bottle in the kitchen or fridge.

You don't allow grown adults to take a glass of water to another room?

Anonymous wrote:When people come to my house, they all usually get their own water glass plus often a wine glass, coffee or tea cup, or other cup. We don’t pick up the glasses and cups until everyone leaves. It’s up to each guest to keep track of their glasses while they’re here. If they forget, they can grab a new one.

It’s rude to keep collecting people’s glasses if they move away to use the bathroom, talk to a different guest, etc. It’s inhospitable.

Same. And the guestroom is your room for the duration of your stay. I would never go in there unless invited or asked to run in for something. I’m sorry she invaded your privacy that way.