Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a cis white female and list my pronouns in my email signature. My LGBTQAI colleagues appreciate it and it’s easy enough for me to do. I work in healthcare and when we share our pronouns, it gives pts permission to share theirs.

In my experience transgender folks aren't shy and a lot of it is about getting attention and being special. They don't need my pronouns to feel comfortable sharing.

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing. Agree with previous that sometimes being misgendered as a man (I'm a woman) can work out in my favor, but that doesn't make it right to not to try to foster an environment where sharing pronouns is the norm.

It does if sharing your gender is more likely to hurt you professionally. I have zero guilt about not indentifying myself as a woman in every email I send and if I am pushed on it I will sue my employers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing.

But, until/unless someone can provide a science-based explanation of how wanting to be something is the same as being that thing, many of us are likely to find this entire excercise pointless and stupid. Especially when we are more interested in getting actual work done than in making friends and saving the world.

I’m not sure what to say. I’m the parent of a teen who uses they pronouns. Being misgendered contributes to their feeling suicidal. We are doing everything we can to improve their mental health but in the meantime if you were their co-worker I’d be highly grateful if you shared your pronouns to make things easier for them. It’s not your responsibility, and I don’t think anybody should force you to do so, but they would appreciate it, and it would go a long way in creating an environment where they felt accepted. My child is highly anxious, shy, and has a name that is generally assumed to use she/her pronouns like Sarah.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m about done with all of this. I think we should switch to they/their/them for everyone. The overwhelming majority of jobs, a person’s gender (biological or preferred), makes absolutely no difference. There’s long been discrimination against women. Now, there’s the concern about discrimination against trans. It was bad enough when you had to consider if a woman wanted to be addressed as Miss/Mrs. or Ms. Now we have to keep track of everyone’s pronouns. I have enough problems keeping faces and names straight. Not to mention, I find it irksome that we have to be so sensitive to identifying people as they wish, but apparently now, I can no longer identify aw simply a woman. Somewhere along the way, society decided I was a cis-woman and forgot to ask my preference.

I vote we switch to first initial, last name, and neutral pronouns for everyone. Maybe then we can stop worrying about the problems the more complicated forms of address cause, and get down to business, which is presumably what a workplace is for.

That’s not how language works. You can’t just change it in that way, it’s an organic thing.

There is nothing mainstream or organic happening here.
Identity labels are 100% political. And frankly are phasing out. The activists and leftists overplayed their card, as usual.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing.

But, until/unless someone can provide a science-based explanation of how wanting to be something is the same as being that thing, many of us are likely to find this entire excercise pointless and stupid. Especially when we are more interested in getting actual work done than in making friends and saving the world.

I’m not sure what to say. I’m the parent of a teen who uses they pronouns. Being misgendered contributes to their feeling suicidal. We are doing everything we can to improve their mental health but in the meantime if you were their co-worker I’d be highly grateful if you shared your pronouns to make things easier for them. It’s not your responsibility, and I don’t think anybody should force you to do so, but they would appreciate it, and it would go a long way in creating an environment where they felt accepted. My child is highly anxious, shy, and has a name that is generally assumed to use she/her pronouns like Sarah.

What if I work in a male-dominated environment traditionally hostile to women? I don’t want pronouns in my email because I don’t want she/her to change the dynamics of the discussion.

I don’t want to make your child uncomfortable but I also really don’t want to be othered more than I already am.

If you are asking my opinion...I think you should do what is best for you in this situation. It sucks that there are male-dominated environments that are hostile to women. I can't imagine that an environment that is hostile to women would be welcoming to those who are non-binary! I hope my child has the privilege to avoid those fields.

I appreciate that the whole discussion is nuanced. Somebody upthread wanted to understand how putting pronouns next to a generally female name would make a difference, so I tried to explain based on my observations of my child's experience.

You’d be wrong about non-binary people being less welcome than women. Typically the non-binary people I know present more male, definitely not feminine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing.

But, until/unless someone can provide a science-based explanation of how wanting to be something is the same as being that thing, many of us are likely to find this entire excercise pointless and stupid. Especially when we are more interested in getting actual work done than in making friends and saving the world.

I’m not sure what to say. I’m the parent of a teen who uses they pronouns. Being misgendered contributes to their feeling suicidal. We are doing everything we can to improve their mental health but in the meantime if you were their co-worker I’d be highly grateful if you shared your pronouns to make things easier for them. It’s not your responsibility, and I don’t think anybody should force you to do so, but they would appreciate it, and it would go a long way in creating an environment where they felt accepted. My child is highly anxious, shy, and has a name that is generally assumed to use she/her pronouns like Sarah.

What if I work in a male-dominated environment traditionally hostile to women? I don’t want pronouns in my email because I don’t want she/her to change the dynamics of the discussion.

I don’t want to make your child uncomfortable but I also really don’t want to be othered more than I already am.

If you are asking my opinion...I think you should do what is best for you in this situation. It sucks that there are male-dominated environments that are hostile to women. I can't imagine that an environment that is hostile to women would be welcoming to those who are non-binary! I hope my child has the privilege to avoid those fields.

I appreciate that the whole discussion is nuanced. Somebody upthread wanted to understand how putting pronouns next to a generally female name would make a difference, so I tried to explain based on my observations of my child's experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing.

But, until/unless someone can provide a science-based explanation of how wanting to be something is the same as being that thing, many of us are likely to find this entire excercise pointless and stupid. Especially when we are more interested in getting actual work done than in making friends and saving the world.

I’m not sure what to say. I’m the parent of a teen who uses they pronouns. Being misgendered contributes to their feeling suicidal. We are doing everything we can to improve their mental health but in the meantime if you were their co-worker I’d be highly grateful if you shared your pronouns to make things easier for them. It’s not your responsibility, and I don’t think anybody should force you to do so, but they would appreciate it, and it would go a long way in creating an environment where they felt accepted. My child is highly anxious, shy, and has a name that is generally assumed to use she/her pronouns like Sarah.

What if I work in a male-dominated environment traditionally hostile to women? I don’t want pronouns in my email because I don’t want she/her to change the dynamics of the discussion.

I don’t want to make your child uncomfortable but I also really don’t want to be othered more than I already am.

Anonymous wrote:It is NOT a small gesture for women to include their gender in their email signatures PP. Every heard of the glass ceiling?

Good lord.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing.

But, until/unless someone can provide a science-based explanation of how wanting to be something is the same as being that thing, many of us are likely to find this entire excercise pointless and stupid. Especially when we are more interested in getting actual work done than in making friends and saving the world.

I’m not sure what to say. I’m the parent of a teen who uses they pronouns. Being misgendered contributes to their feeling suicidal. We are doing everything we can to improve their mental health but in the meantime if you were their co-worker I’d be highly grateful if you shared your pronouns to make things easier for them. It’s not your responsibility, and I don’t think anybody should force you to do so, but they would appreciate it, and it would go a long way in creating an environment where they felt accepted. My child is highly anxious, shy, and has a name that is generally assumed to use she/her pronouns like Sarah.

I am not the PP but how does identifying myself as a woman help your daughter? I actually need someone to explain this to me. If I hear anyone referring to me by a pronoun it’s a sign of disrespect. Pronouns are not used in the presence you the person. None of this makes sense to me. If your child is non binary, then they should consider changing her name to something less typically feminine if it bothers them. Putting a pronoun identifier on your email signature draws attention to your gender, and in many cases that is a problem for professional women. I won’t do it!

I totally understand if you don’t want to do it—I disagree with policies that force people to share pronouns. For my child, when other people sign their messages Sarah (she/her), my child feels more comfortable signing their emails Sarah (they/them). Maybe it would make it easier on others if my child changed their name to Jade or Lark, but they like their current name. Anyway, you are free to do as you wish. I just wanted to explain what impact your sharing pronouns would have on my non-binary child, who could be your future co-worker. While it’s obvious that most Sarahs use (she/her) pronouns, it makes it feel less scary for my kid to write Sarah (they/them) if others are also sign with pronouns. Yes, my kid has lots of insecurities and is struggling with a lot. It’s not your responsibility to help them, but the small gesture goes a long way toward helping them feel accepted.

But why even put pronouns in your email address at all? Your child sounds like they don’t want their gender discussed. Best way to do that is not put it front and center. But—how would anyone even hear what pronouns people are using to talk about them anyway! The last time I saw someone refer to me as she, it was an email forwarded to me for situational awareness and I was honestly offended that the person didn’t refer to me with my name. They used she and her several times, as if to underline my gender to my superior. It was gross. People shouldn’t be using pronouns at work much—unless they’re saying things they shouldn’t about a colleague’s work. Work emails are typically about work, not people.

I guess this is a completely fictitious situation where you are my child’s co-worker! In this situation, by putting their pronouns in the email signature, people would know that my child was Sarah who uses they/them pronouns, and would use their preferred pronouns when writing and speaking. You are correct that my kid doesn’t want their pronouns front and center (which is why I don’t agree that people should be forced to share if they don’t want to) nor do they want to be addressed by the wrong ones. If pronouns could be avoided altogether that would be great for my child. Can’t speak for everyone though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing.

But, until/unless someone can provide a science-based explanation of how wanting to be something is the same as being that thing, many of us are likely to find this entire excercise pointless and stupid. Especially when we are more interested in getting actual work done than in making friends and saving the world.

I’m not sure what to say. I’m the parent of a teen who uses they pronouns. Being misgendered contributes to their feeling suicidal. We are doing everything we can to improve their mental health but in the meantime if you were their co-worker I’d be highly grateful if you shared your pronouns to make things easier for them. It’s not your responsibility, and I don’t think anybody should force you to do so, but they would appreciate it, and it would go a long way in creating an environment where they felt accepted. My child is highly anxious, shy, and has a name that is generally assumed to use she/her pronouns like Sarah.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing.

But, until/unless someone can provide a science-based explanation of how wanting to be something is the same as being that thing, many of us are likely to find this entire excercise pointless and stupid. Especially when we are more interested in getting actual work done than in making friends and saving the world.

I’m not sure what to say. I’m the parent of a teen who uses they pronouns. Being misgendered contributes to their feeling suicidal. We are doing everything we can to improve their mental health but in the meantime if you were their co-worker I’d be highly grateful if you shared your pronouns to make things easier for them. It’s not your responsibility, and I don’t think anybody should force you to do so, but they would appreciate it, and it would go a long way in creating an environment where they felt accepted. My child is highly anxious, shy, and has a name that is generally assumed to use she/her pronouns like Sarah.

I am not the PP but how does identifying myself as a woman help your daughter? I actually need someone to explain this to me. If I hear anyone referring to me by a pronoun it’s a sign of disrespect. Pronouns are not used in the presence you the person. None of this makes sense to me. If your child is non binary, then they should consider changing her name to something less typically feminine if it bothers them. Putting a pronoun identifier on your email signature draws attention to your gender, and in many cases that is a problem for professional women. I won’t do it!

I totally understand if you don’t want to do it—I disagree with policies that force people to share pronouns. For my child, when other people sign their messages Sarah (she/her), my child feels more comfortable signing their emails Sarah (they/them). Maybe it would make it easier on others if my child changed their name to Jade or Lark, but they like their current name. Anyway, you are free to do as you wish. I just wanted to explain what impact your sharing pronouns would have on my non-binary child, who could be your future co-worker. While it’s obvious that most Sarahs use (she/her) pronouns, it makes it feel less scary for my kid to write Sarah (they/them) if others are also sign with pronouns. Yes, my kid has lots of insecurities and is struggling with a lot. It’s not your responsibility to help them, but the small gesture goes a long way toward helping them feel accepted.

But why even put pronouns in your email address at all? Your child sounds like they don’t want their gender discussed. Best way to do that is not put it front and center. But—how would anyone even hear what pronouns people are using to talk about them anyway! The last time I saw someone refer to me as she, it was an email forwarded to me for situational awareness and I was honestly offended that the person didn’t refer to me with my name. They used she and her several times, as if to underline my gender to my superior. It was gross. People shouldn’t be using pronouns at work much—unless they’re saying things they shouldn’t about a colleague’s work. Work emails are typically about work, not people.