Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah, geez, for such “smart” people everyone (except the gf) sounds ridiculously immature. If nephew is so talented and ambitious and in such a great MBA program, then he can borrow the money and pay for it himself. He sounds like NOT a good catch if he can’t navigate this minor issue directly with his mom. The GF should NOT move with him and focus on her career until he grows up.

This is such a middle class attitude. Y’all hold yourselves back.

Well, he has to pick one: controlling mother who has the purse strings or the girlfriend.

My MIL was unimpressed when dh and I decided toget married sooner than initially planned. (No I wasn't pregnant but there was a good reason.) Dh was still in school, parents were paying.

DH told her "I would love for you to be there, but understand if you aren't." We got married and she was there. After we were married her and FIL said they were done paying for school. Dh decided to work for a few years and finish classes as we could pay for them. MIL had a FIT.

We ended up taking out a loan.

Bottom line, OP, this is none of your or your husband's business. Your nephew needs to make his own decisions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah, geez, for such “smart” people everyone (except the gf) sounds ridiculously immature. If nephew is so talented and ambitious and in such a great MBA program, then he can borrow the money and pay for it himself. He sounds like NOT a good catch if he can’t navigate this minor issue directly with his mom. The GF should NOT move with him and focus on her career until he grows up.

This is such a middle class attitude. Y’all hold yourselves back.

This parental money comes with strings that the son doesn’t seem to want to accept (understandably).

Anonymous wrote:Ah, geez, for such “smart” people everyone (except the gf) sounds ridiculously immature. If nephew is so talented and ambitious and in such a great MBA program, then he can borrow the money and pay for it himself. He sounds like NOT a good catch if he can’t navigate this minor issue directly with his mom. The GF should NOT move with him and focus on her career until he grows up.

+1 and mom's controlling nature wouldn't change after becoming MIL.

Parents should focus on their own marriages and let adult children marry whoever and whenever they want. If you can help in any way, do it but don't attach strings to your love and support. Stay out of their relationships, show some respect.

Anonymous wrote:Ah, geez, for such “smart” people everyone (except the gf) sounds ridiculously immature. If nephew is so talented and ambitious and in such a great MBA program, then he can borrow the money and pay for it himself. He sounds like NOT a good catch if he can’t navigate this minor issue directly with his mom. The GF should NOT move with him and focus on her career until he grows up.

This is such a middle class attitude. Y’all hold yourselves back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No marriage or babies before 30.

They are both ambitious and have no plans to marry or procreate for 5 years. If it weren't for moving to another state and then may be again for new job, they would've waited until he did his MBA and she did her MS.

Are you the OP? No such thing as a 7 year engagement. Don’t rope GF into this.

+1

My 22 year old (M) says engagement is for planning a wedding. It isn't a place holder.

Op, you and your dh need to stay out of it. Or you do, if your husband insists on sticking his nose in. There's a lot of potential problems with this.

Ah, geez, for such “smart” people everyone (except the gf) sounds ridiculously immature. If nephew is so talented and ambitious and in such a great MBA program, then he can borrow the money and pay for it himself. He sounds like NOT a good catch if he can’t navigate this minor issue directly with his mom. The GF should NOT move with him and focus on her career until he grows up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t pay for grad school if my kid were married either. I’m on team SIL. When your nephew is mature enough to finance his own school, he’s mature enough for marriage.

This makes no sense. I knew umc and rich families who paid for their kids’ law or medical school and weddings while they were still enrolled. Marrying young and being in a great grad/professional program are signs of MATURITY and STABILITY.

+1 Do you think Jennifer Gates paid for med school?!

Bill Gates did let his DD marry in med school. She was barely 25, engaged at 24, has been dating same guy since she was 20.

She also is having a baby at 26.

She'll have nannies and housekeepers but many of my physician friends did it just with help of their husbands and parents. Its tough but can be done with a trustworthy support system.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t pay for grad school if my kid were married either. I’m on team SIL. When your nephew is mature enough to finance his own school, he’s mature enough for marriage.

This makes no sense. I knew umc and rich families who paid for their kids’ law or medical school and weddings while they were still enrolled. Marrying young and being in a great grad/professional program are signs of MATURITY and STABILITY.

+1 Do you think Jennifer Gates paid for med school?!

Bill Gates did let his DD marry in med school. She was barely 25, engaged at 24, has been dating same guy since she was 20.

She also is having a baby at 26.

Its easier to time a baby during med school than during residency and people who want to become doctors AND have kids before 30, can't postpone it until they are done with residency and fellowship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t pay for grad school if my kid were married either. I’m on team SIL. When your nephew is mature enough to finance his own school, he’s mature enough for marriage.

This makes no sense. I knew umc and rich families who paid for their kids’ law or medical school and weddings while they were still enrolled. Marrying young and being in a great grad/professional program are signs of MATURITY and STABILITY.

+1 Do you think Jennifer Gates paid for med school?!

Bill Gates did let his DD marry in med school. She was barely 25, engaged at 24, has been dating same guy since she was 20.

She also is having a baby at 26.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t pay for grad school if my kid were married either. I’m on team SIL. When your nephew is mature enough to finance his own school, he’s mature enough for marriage.

This makes no sense. I knew umc and rich families who paid for their kids’ law or medical school and weddings while they were still enrolled. Marrying young and being in a great grad/professional program are signs of MATURITY and STABILITY.

+1 Do you think Jennifer Gates paid for med school?!

Bill Gates did let his DD marry in med school. She was barely 25, engaged at 24, has been dating same guy since she was 20.

He could secretly marry her and just not tell his mother.

One adult controlling decisions of two other adults just because one of them is related to her is absurd.

Anonymous wrote:His mother won't let him propose? His GF should take the opportunity to end the relationship before she's saddled with a crazy MIL and a husband who won't stand up for himself.

This. Let SIL show everyone in this story who she is.