Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 48 and men are rabid for me. Even my son's friends.

It’s not that I doubt you, I am just guessing you and all other women who mention men constantly hitting on them present yourself in an overtly sexual way. My daughter is objectively beautiful and while men certainly look, she is not continually approached by guys trying to chat her up- maybe because she has a slim, athletic look.

I personally find women like you who brag about their daughter’s beauty and clearly live vicariously through them more distasteful than PP. I You people exude this air of “I know I’m disgusting and worthless but I have a daughter and her beauty validates my existence.” Grow up lady.

Well, there may be elements of truth in your comments. I might be a little over invested in my daughter’s beauty, but I’d argue that I am more grown- up as a result. We all get a chance to be beautiful in the way that only youth brings, but some women refuse to graciously give way when their turn is over. Quit competing with your daughters and bragging about sharing clothes. There is beauty in every age for a woman.

Nope you’re not grown up if you’re “over invested” in your daughter’s beauty. You’re just as gross as those disgusting women who compete with their daughters, just in a different way. In either case, there’s too much focus on a young woman’s looks and it’s uncomfortable. Again, grow up.

OP, I'm sure when I was in my early 40s, I would have thought the same thing about these women. But I was still looking like a snack at 41. I'm 49 now and... let's just say that my face is starting to show its age. At 41, I still had baby fat in my cheeks, my melasma was barely visible, my 11s were still only visible when I frowned, and my neck was still unlined and taut. Sometime between 45 and now, all of that started to go south. I imagine it will only accelerate leading up to and past menopause. In my minds eye, I still look like that 41 year old.

I have a 15 year old son. In less than a year's time he went from looking and sounding like a little boy to looking and sounding like a man. His new form and face still surprise me sometimes when he walks into a room. My brain hasn't adjusted to his new appearance. Even though the changes are less stark, I still think my brain hasn't adjusted to the changes in my own appearance either.

Maybe it's a coping mechanism?

I'm 45 and I have zero wrinkles but I'm pretty sure I still look my age, and I'm not ashamed of that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 48 and men are rabid for me. Even my son's friends.

It’s not that I doubt you, I am just guessing you and all other women who mention men constantly hitting on them present yourself in an overtly sexual way. My daughter is objectively beautiful and while men certainly look, she is not continually approached by guys trying to chat her up- maybe because she has a slim, athletic look.

Agree with this. I have a 20 something daughter who is also objectively beautiful and has a very attractive, successful boyfriend. She is not "hit on" constantly. Some men look. But she's really never hit on.
It was the same with me, 30 years ago. I always dated attractive men and married one. But I was never harassed constantly on the streets or whatnot. When women talk about this (as happening all the time--in any setting) I assume they are either 1)presenting themselves in an overtly sexual way or 2)confusing normal interaction with being hit on.

Agreed. I think most good-looking women get looked at but I don't think getting hit on constantly is all that common.

Sorry, but I was hit on constantly when I was young and I didn't dress in a sexy way at all. Quite the opposite. I wasn't a knock out either -- but I was slim and had long blond hair. Apparently that's all it takes.

I can say this with certainty because now that I'm older, that's disappeared.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 70 year old mother in law routinely comments on how young she looks and she likes to dress in styles intended for much younger women. Rather than healthy self esteem, I think it stems from fear of aging and the need for attention.

I’m 53 and think I look my age - and that’s okay.

This is my MIL. She's 82 and looks very young for her age in the right lighting. She is always making passive aggressive comments about how old other people look and how other people tell her she looks young. She would never directly say, I look young. She tries to dress in styles intended for younger women but it comes across to me as a little undignified. She also never takes her sunglasses off when she's out because she wants to hide her under eye bags. My mother is the same age and looks younger than her 82 years but she handles it differently than my MIL. My mother dresses like a classy, mature woman and isn't obviously trying to come across as a 30 year old.

Wow, so even the elderly are obsessed with looking young? Oh my. I understand a middle-aged person who is still getting accustomed to/mourning the idea of their fleeting youth but by old age, reality should be firmly in place. I guess it's a personality trait. I have middle-aged friends who do this too, and I assumed it would pass-- guess not. I certainly don't look forward to hearing how young they look until we die, lol.

Why wouldn't they be this way in America? The elderly aren't not respected or valued. There is real ageism in the US. Workplace discrimination based on age is real. People treat elderly as if they are invisible and a bother---so if they don't want to be treated this way they fight it any way they can.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 70 year old mother in law routinely comments on how young she looks and she likes to dress in styles intended for much younger women. Rather than healthy self esteem, I think it stems from fear of aging and the need for attention.

I’m 53 and think I look my age - and that’s okay.

This is my MIL. She's 82 and looks very young for her age in the right lighting. She is always making passive aggressive comments about how old other people look and how other people tell her she looks young. She would never directly say, I look young. She tries to dress in styles intended for younger women but it comes across to me as a little undignified. She also never takes her sunglasses off when she's out because she wants to hide her under eye bags. My mother is the same age and looks younger than her 82 years but she handles it differently than my MIL. My mother dresses like a classy, mature woman and isn't obviously trying to come across as a 30 year old.

Wow, so even the elderly are obsessed with looking young? Oh my. I understand a middle-aged person who is still getting accustomed to/mourning the idea of their fleeting youth but by old age, reality should be firmly in place. I guess it's a personality trait. I have middle-aged friends who do this too, and I assumed it would pass-- guess not. I certainly don't look forward to hearing how young they look until we die, lol.

Anonymous wrote:My 70 year old mother in law routinely comments on how young she looks and she likes to dress in styles intended for much younger women. Rather than healthy self esteem, I think it stems from fear of aging and the need for attention.

I’m 53 and think I look my age - and that’s okay.

This is my MIL. She's 82 and looks very young for her age in the right lighting. She is always making passive aggressive comments about how old other people look and how other people tell her she looks young. She would never directly say, I look young. She tries to dress in styles intended for younger women but it comes across to me as a little undignified. She also never takes her sunglasses off when she's out because she wants to hide her under eye bags. My mother is the same age and looks younger than her 82 years but she handles it differently than my MIL. My mother dresses like a classy, mature woman and isn't obviously trying to come across as a 30 year old.

Anonymous wrote:I recently had dinner with relatives, all females in their early 50s. All the women look their ages (and one looks slightly older). During the dinner, all of the women (with straight faces) kept commenting on how young they looked, how people mistake them for 20/30 somethings, how young guys hit on them constantly, etc. I was baffled by the delusion but tried hard not to show it.

Serious question, but what's behind that level of deluding? Is it fear of reality, getting older, being competitive, and is there any point in disagreeing with them when they aren't hurting anyone? Also, what is so wrong with looking good for your age?

I am the youngest in the group at 41, and while I take excellent care of myself, I look my age.

I have some of these friends as well. I adore them and love their company and it's not something they talk about all of the time but there are a few who truly believe they look much younger than they are. One I hadn't seen in years but talk with frequently and has told me all of the times she's been mistaken for much younger. When I finally saw her again in person, I was shocked because I really thought she would look young. Nope, she looked 50. Who am I to tell her she looks her age?

What's behind it, I don't know? For a very small minority it might be competitive but for most is just a harmless delusion where they cannot be objective. Like when you are a parent or pet owner, you smugly think your child or dog is so much cuter than everyone else's. You look around and there is not much that will change your mind. Every time you get a compliment, it reinforces that view even more. For women who believe this, I don't think it's unhealthy but I do find it amusing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 48 and men are rabid for me. Even my son's friends.

It’s not that I doubt you, I am just guessing you and all other women who mention men constantly hitting on them present yourself in an overtly sexual way. My daughter is objectively beautiful and while men certainly look, she is not continually approached by guys trying to chat her up- maybe because she has a slim, athletic look.

I personally find women like you who brag about their daughter’s beauty and clearly live vicariously through them more distasteful than PP. I You people exude this air of “I know I’m disgusting and worthless but I have a daughter and her beauty validates my existence.” Grow up lady.

Well, there may be elements of truth in your comments. I might be a little over invested in my daughter’s beauty, but I’d argue that I am more grown- up as a result. We all get a chance to be beautiful in the way that only youth brings, but some women refuse to graciously give way when their turn is over. Quit competing with your daughters and bragging about sharing clothes. There is beauty in every age for a woman.

+1 !!!!

+2. The fight to remain relevant is fierce. It's embarrassing when mothers try to compete/steal the spotlight from their daughters. That's a different kind of low.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 48 and men are rabid for me. Even my son's friends.

It’s not that I doubt you, I am just guessing you and all other women who mention men constantly hitting on them present yourself in an overtly sexual way. My daughter is objectively beautiful and while men certainly look, she is not continually approached by guys trying to chat her up- maybe because she has a slim, athletic look.

I think you need to think that to make yourself feel better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 48 and men are rabid for me. Even my son's friends.

It’s not that I doubt you, I am just guessing you and all other women who mention men constantly hitting on them present yourself in an overtly sexual way. My daughter is objectively beautiful and while men certainly look, she is not continually approached by guys trying to chat her up- maybe because she has a slim, athletic look.

I personally find women like you who brag about their daughter’s beauty and clearly live vicariously through them more distasteful than PP. I You people exude this air of “I know I’m disgusting and worthless but I have a daughter and her beauty validates my existence.” Grow up lady.

Well, there may be elements of truth in your comments. I might be a little over invested in my daughter’s beauty, but I’d argue that I am more grown- up as a result. We all get a chance to be beautiful in the way that only youth brings, but some women refuse to graciously give way when their turn is over. Quit competing with your daughters and bragging about sharing clothes. There is beauty in every age for a woman.

+1 !!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 48 and men are rabid for me. Even my son's friends.

It’s not that I doubt you, I am just guessing you and all other women who mention men constantly hitting on them present yourself in an overtly sexual way. My daughter is objectively beautiful and while men certainly look, she is not continually approached by guys trying to chat her up- maybe because she has a slim, athletic look.

Agree with this. I have a 20 something daughter who is also objectively beautiful and has a very attractive, successful boyfriend. She is not "hit on" constantly. Some men look. But she's really never hit on.
It was the same with me, 30 years ago. I always dated attractive men and married one. But I was never harassed constantly on the streets or whatnot. When women talk about this (as happening all the time--in any setting) I assume they are either 1)presenting themselves in an overtly sexual way or 2)confusing normal interaction with being hit on.

Agreed. I think most good-looking women get looked at but I don't think getting hit on constantly is all that common.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 48 and men are rabid for me. Even my son's friends.

It’s not that I doubt you, I am just guessing you and all other women who mention men constantly hitting on them present yourself in an overtly sexual way. My daughter is objectively beautiful and while men certainly look, she is not continually approached by guys trying to chat her up- maybe because she has a slim, athletic look.

Agree with this. I have a 20 something daughter who is also objectively beautiful and has a very attractive, successful boyfriend. She is not "hit on" constantly. Some men look. But she's really never hit on.
It was the same with me, 30 years ago. I always dated attractive men and married one. But I was never harassed constantly on the streets or whatnot. When women talk about this (as happening all the time--in any setting) I assume they are either 1)presenting themselves in an overtly sexual way or 2)confusing normal interaction with being hit on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 48 and men are rabid for me. Even my son's friends.

It’s not that I doubt you, I am just guessing you and all other women who mention men constantly hitting on them present yourself in an overtly sexual way. My daughter is objectively beautiful and while men certainly look, she is not continually approached by guys trying to chat her up- maybe because she has a slim, athletic look.

I personally find women like you who brag about their daughter’s beauty and clearly live vicariously through them more distasteful than PP. I You people exude this air of “I know I’m disgusting and worthless but I have a daughter and her beauty validates my existence.” Grow up lady.

Well, there may be elements of truth in your comments. I might be a little over invested in my daughter’s beauty, but I’d argue that I am more grown- up as a result. We all get a chance to be beautiful in the way that only youth brings, but some women refuse to graciously give way when their turn is over. Quit competing with your daughters and bragging about sharing clothes. There is beauty in every age for a woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Come on ladies, let us be! I found my best self at 50 and have never had a healthier (if delusional, so be it) self esteem. I love my life and have never felt better about myself. I’ happy to my core! The difference between 25 and 50 is . . . I truly don’t give a flying eff what other people think and I surround myself with friends who make each other feel terrific about themselves. Ah youth, it’s truly wasted on the young.

Me too! Loving my 50s - and here's the thing - I'm happy with how I look and feel - I don't care if I look "young", I'm just proud that I'm fit, active, wear cute clothes and don't feel or look tired and old. You are as old as you feel and think OP.....

+52

AND I do not care if people think they are hotter or look younger than they are.

Same! I now have money to spend on things that I want and great vacations. Feel confident and no longer care what others think of me. Living my best life in my 50's