Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 14:13     Subject: Re:SIL travels with her own cocktails
Yay another topic we can unanimously agree on. Go team SIL!
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 13:51     Subject: SIL travels with her own cocktails
Anonymous wrote:What’s weird is that you ignore her preferences when you host her.


Yes, this.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 13:50     Subject: SIL travels with her own cocktails
Anonymous wrote:I kind of want to hang out with your SIL.


Me too.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 12:57     Subject: SIL travels with her own cocktails
I fail to see how bringing what you like to drink as SIL doing any different from the other family members who bring beer and wine. Theirs is in a factory sealed container hers is not.

Have you never attended one of these family events, OP, and brought a bottle or wine or six pack of beer. It is the same thing.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 11:43     Subject: SIL travels with her own cocktails
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:High maintenance? For taking care of her own wishes without bothering anybody or making a big deal out of it?

That's a bold strategy, Cotton.

She is being quite passive aggressive too. She is not a toddler who doesn’t eat what’s served. She can have a soda or some juice if she doesn’t like beer or wine. What is she brought her own food too? I am not taking about allergies.



If her in laws repeatedly serve food they know she can’t stand, I would totally support her bringing her own food. It’s a big f-you to never serve food or drink that a family member likes.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 11:36     Subject: Re:SIL travels with her own cocktails
Anonymous wrote:OP to be clear she does not show other indications of being a problem drinker, but this seemed like a red flag to me.


Might that've been the one you saw in the mirror.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 10:30     Subject: Re:SIL travels with her own cocktails
Anonymous wrote:Why don't you have something in the house for her??

I know family member and friend's preferences. I keep them in the home or get them before a get together.

It's about being a good host.


+1 I have a SIL that likes gin, so I get some for her. It's no different than the creamer I stock for stepMIL or tea for MIL.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 10:30     Subject: SIL travels with her own cocktails
Team SIL. You're judgmental at best, OP.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 10:28     Subject: SIL travels with her own cocktails
Anonymous wrote:What’s weird is that you ignore her preferences when you host her.


This. I would ask her which gin brand and which tonic she likes and then STOCK IT at my house.

Though, my MIL only drinks iced tea. We tried to buy some to keep for when she came over but she informed us she only likes hers (which she makes at home and takes time to brew) so she brings her own. Whatever, one less thing for me to worry about.

Anonymous
Post 05/31/2022 10:25     Subject: Re:SIL travels with her own cocktails
Why don't you have something in the house for her??

I know family member and friend's preferences. I keep them in the home or get them before a get together.

It's about being a good host.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2022 23:49     Subject: SIL travels with her own cocktails
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is this weird? My family are wine drinkers. If we all hang out together, usually there is beer or wine. We had a Memorial Day barbecue weekend last night and she brought a thermos of her own premixed gin and tonic. She says wine and beer give her a headache. Wouldn't you just not drink in this case, instead of BYO to a family gathering where it isn't offered?? I wonder about saying something to my brother just to check in. Like why would you travel with your own booze thermos??!


I think it’s weird your family hasn’t accommodated her tastes. I can’t imagine not having what makes my SIL feel included available for her. Especially if it’s as simple as gin & tonic.


This is he issue. Not SIL’s behavior.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2022 23:13     Subject: SIL travels with her own cocktails
You sound like a rude host. She doesn't drink what you want to serve. Likely a bunch of unnecessary calories. Why don't you ask her what she likes and serve things that she will drink.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2022 19:32     Subject: SIL travels with her own cocktails
If I had to deal with a pill like OP seems to be I’d need something a lot stronger than a gin and tonic. Team SIL!
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2022 18:13     Subject: SIL travels with her own cocktails
Anonymous wrote:I agree if she brings it to soccer games and PTA meetings, I’d be worried.
In her place, I would probably just bring a small bottle of gin and tonic water and lime and say “I brought stuff for G&t if anyone wants!” That seems slightly more normal even if no one else will drink. I do that with desserts with relatives that make gross desserts.


Why should SIL have to incur the expense to share, when the host doesn’t care to be a gracious or generous host.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2022 18:05     Subject: Re:SIL travels with her own cocktails
I wish the SIL would post and tell us what's on her bingo card. She's probably sized her thermos accordingly!