Anonymous
Post 04/27/2022 16:39     Subject: Re:How to convince daughter not to follow her boyfriend to college?
Anonymous wrote:OP here and a decision has been made. We just deposited at Amherst so she will be a Mammoth in the fall!

She had a long talk with the boyfriend and said he was supportive of her decision so that made things easier for her emotionally. They will make an effort to visit each other at least once a semester and at home during breaks. She said if they were meant to be together then whether the distance between them was 20 miles or 800 miles, they would make it work.

She did have a fantastic time at Davidson (and the weather was great compared to her Amherst visit) but she thought the Davidson campus felt smaller than Amherst's and didn't mesh as well with the admitted students she met there. She did love the Lake Campus at Davidson but didn't know how often she'd make use of it. If she hadn't been admitted to Amherst, she would have been very happy at Davidson. In the end, she thought Amherst was a bit better resourced in the sciences, and she liked the more edgy student centered energy of the Pioneer Valley over the Charlotte suburbs around Davidson which she found more conventional ("a little boring" in her words). She thought she was more likely to settle in the Northeast than the Southeast so that played a roll in her decision. Despite all the drama (some of it admittedly from her parents), she made this decision on her own. Much appreciate some of the very good advice we got on this board. We ended up stepping back and letting her make the decision on her own. So we have a very happy and relieved daughter who is excited to be in New England for the next 4 years! Thanks again all!


Great news OP. She couldn't go wrong and I'm glad she made the decision based on the merits of the schools not location.

For what it's worth, my DS is about 5 hours from his high school GF and they have seen each other 2 times each semester and of course every break. Its not ideal and at least he is driving distance from her, but they have the same belief, if it's meant to be, it will be.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2022 16:21     Subject: Re:How to convince daughter not to follow her boyfriend to college?
OP here and a decision has been made. We just deposited at Amherst so she will be a Mammoth in the fall!

She had a long talk with the boyfriend and said he was supportive of her decision so that made things easier for her emotionally. They will make an effort to visit each other at least once a semester and at home during breaks. She said if they were meant to be together then whether the distance between them was 20 miles or 800 miles, they would make it work.

She did have a fantastic time at Davidson (and the weather was great compared to her Amherst visit) but she thought the Davidson campus felt smaller than Amherst's and didn't mesh as well with the admitted students she met there. She did love the Lake Campus at Davidson but didn't know how often she'd make use of it. If she hadn't been admitted to Amherst, she would have been very happy at Davidson. In the end, she thought Amherst was a bit better resourced in the sciences, and she liked the more edgy student centered energy of the Pioneer Valley over the Charlotte suburbs around Davidson which she found more conventional ("a little boring" in her words). She thought she was more likely to settle in the Northeast than the Southeast so that played a roll in her decision. Despite all the drama (some of it admittedly from her parents), she made this decision on her own. Much appreciate some of the very good advice we got on this board. We ended up stepping back and letting her make the decision on her own. So we have a very happy and relieved daughter who is excited to be in New England for the next 4 years! Thanks again all!
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2022 13:38     Subject: How to convince daughter not to follow her boyfriend to college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I bumped this thread because I want to know what OP's daughter decided! What happened??? I'm so invested.


OP here and here's the latest. Our daughter still hasn't made a firm decision though may now be leaning towards Amherst (she can be a hard nut to crack at times even for her parents). Her boyfriend to his credit has told her that he didn't want to be the reason for her choosing Davidson.

We were in Amherst for their Admitted Students event last week and made a long (though chilly) weekend out of it. We got to explore Amherst and Northampton and checked out the other area colleges Smith, Mt Holyoke and UMass. The Pioneer Valley area is teeming with college students and didn't feel like it was "the boonies" which was a concern of hers. For the Admitted Students Day, we dropped her off on campus in the morning and were supposed to meet up for lunch, but she texted and asked if instead she could have lunch with a group of admitted students she had met. She said she really liked the campus and the "prospies" and current students she met and said she could see herself there. She also really liked that all the first years live together on the freshman quad (we did too...campus is gorgeous and the new Science Center is jaw dropping!). She's headed to Davidson this weekend where she'll be staying on campus with a current student (and family friend) and then attend the Admitted Students Day on Monday.

She has until May 1st to make her decision and she's declined her other acceptances so it is definitely down to these 2 schools. Hopefully, she'll be able to commit to one after next Monday! As parents, we realize she is blessed to have 2 wonderful choices in what turned out to be a difficult admissions cycle. We've left the decision her. She's earned that much.


Curious OP if you noticed whether Amherst has put its covid restrictions behind it and if student life resembles the before times. Your post implies things were pretty normal. My kid is looking at both schools but we were warned by an Amherst parent that covid restrictions were near oppressive even on a fully vaxxed Amherst campus and that visitors not allowed inside most dorms/college buildings while Davidson has returned to near normal college life.


OP here again. Restrictions yes, oppressive no. Amherst did have some restrictions in place for the visiting admitted students but they didn't seem to be strictly enforcing them. She brought a mask with her everywhere she went but said she only wore it when on official tours inside buildings such as the Science Center or when she was with inside with a group of students that wore them. Basically, she followed the lead of other students. She said she met one immunocompromised admitted student, and the other students and prospects were respectful and wore their masks around that person unprompted. She liked that Amherst students she met were respectful of others. She was able to go into a freshman dorm for a look see. Most of the academic buildings were open to visitors as long as they were masked. The restrictions were a non-issue for my daughter.

We've been told that Davidson is for the most part back to normal (and no longer has mandatory testing of students). Masking is required only in classes where the professors have asked students to wear them. She's staying w/a current student who has told her that visitors are now allowed in the Davidson dorms.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 19:06     Subject: How to convince daughter not to follow her boyfriend to college?
You did what you could, now let her decide without any further attempts to influence her. Just like you don’t want her to look back midst off her career and regret not picking Amherst over a boy, same way you don’t want her to look back at the end of her youth and regret not picking love of her life and resent you.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 18:51     Subject: Re:How to convince daughter not to follow her boyfriend to college?
Apologies for the run on sentences in my last post. I see on the Amherst website that the college has removed its KN95 mask mandate from all buildings including dorms except for classrooms and health facilities. Tailgating has now returned to sports events. Good for the students! As for OP daughter's choice, in my professional world (medicine) both colleges are held in equally high regard for their pre-med programs and outcomes. OP please let us all in on the final decision...don't leave us hanging!
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 18:26     Subject: How to convince daughter not to follow her boyfriend to college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I bumped this thread because I want to know what OP's daughter decided! What happened??? I'm so invested.


OP here and here's the latest. Our daughter still hasn't made a firm decision though may now be leaning towards Amherst (she can be a hard nut to crack at times even for her parents). Her boyfriend to his credit has told her that he didn't want to be the reason for her choosing Davidson.

We were in Amherst for their Admitted Students event last week and made a long (though chilly) weekend out of it. We got to explore Amherst and Northampton and checked out the other area colleges Smith, Mt Holyoke and UMass. The Pioneer Valley area is teeming with college students and didn't feel like it was "the boonies" which was a concern of hers. For the Admitted Students Day, we dropped her off on campus in the morning and were supposed to meet up for lunch, but she texted and asked if instead she could have lunch with a group of admitted students she had met. She said she really liked the campus and the "prospies" and current students she met and said she could see herself there. She also really liked that all the first years live together on the freshman quad (we did too...campus is gorgeous and the new Science Center is jaw dropping!). She's headed to Davidson this weekend where she'll be staying on campus with a current student (and family friend) and then attend the Admitted Students Day on Monday.

She has until May 1st to make her decision and she's declined her other acceptances so it is definitely down to these 2 schools. Hopefully, she'll be able to commit to one after next Monday! As parents, we realize she is blessed to have 2 wonderful choices in what turned out to be a difficult admissions cycle. We've left the decision her. She's earned that much.


Curious OP if you noticed whether Amherst has put its covid restrictions behind it and if student life resembles the before times. Your post implies things were pretty normal. My kid is looking at both schools but we were warned by an Amherst parent that covid restrictions were near oppressive even on a fully vaxxed Amherst campus and that visitors not allowed inside most dorms/college buildings while Davidson has returned to near normal college life.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 14:22     Subject: How to convince daughter not to follow her boyfriend to college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I bumped this thread because I want to know what OP's daughter decided! What happened??? I'm so invested.


OP here and here's the latest. Our daughter still hasn't made a firm decision though may now be leaning towards Amherst (she can be a hard nut to crack at times even for her parents). Her boyfriend to his credit has told her that he didn't want to be the reason for her choosing Davidson.

We were in Amherst for their Admitted Students event last week and made a long (though chilly) weekend out of it. We got to explore Amherst and Northampton and checked out the other area colleges Smith, Mt Holyoke and UMass. The Pioneer Valley area is teeming with college students and didn't feel like it was "the boonies" which was a concern of hers. For the Admitted Students Day, we dropped her off on campus in the morning and were supposed to meet up for lunch, but she texted and asked if instead she could have lunch with a group of admitted students she had met. She said she really liked the campus and the "prospies" and current students she met and said she could see herself there. She also really liked that all the first years live together on the freshman quad (we did too...campus is gorgeous and the new Science Center is jaw dropping!). She's headed to Davidson this weekend where she'll be staying on campus with a current student (and family friend) and then attend the Admitted Students Day on Monday.

She has until May 1st to make her decision and she's declined her other acceptances so it is definitely down to these 2 schools. Hopefully, she'll be able to commit to one after next Monday! As parents, we realize she is blessed to have 2 wonderful choices in what turned out to be a difficult admissions cycle. We've left the decision her. She's earned that much.


Thank you for the update! I went to UMass and it felt like more suburban than rural. Flying to Hartford was a breeze out of BWI and even driving was only 7 hours. It was easy to find other students to make the drive with me. Northampton and Amherst are well connected through the bus system and route 9. I didn't meet many kids at Amherst and never got involved with the other 3 colleges because they were pretty far from UMass campus.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 14:20     Subject: Re:How to convince daughter not to follow her boyfriend to college?
Thanks for the update OP. Sounds like she is really doing her due diligence and you're doing a great job stepping back. She'll do great wherever she goes.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 14:14     Subject: How to convince daughter not to follow her boyfriend to college?
I think the Five College system in MA is fascinating. I know Smith heavily recruited me and pushed that part.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 13:11     Subject: How to convince daughter not to follow her boyfriend to college?
Great update OP! Sounds like she will make the decision based on how she feels she connects to the students, which is all you can ask for. Best of luck to her!
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 13:00     Subject: How to convince daughter not to follow her boyfriend to college?
Anonymous wrote:I bumped this thread because I want to know what OP's daughter decided! What happened??? I'm so invested.


OP here and here's the latest. Our daughter still hasn't made a firm decision though may now be leaning towards Amherst (she can be a hard nut to crack at times even for her parents). Her boyfriend to his credit has told her that he didn't want to be the reason for her choosing Davidson.

We were in Amherst for their Admitted Students event last week and made a long (though chilly) weekend out of it. We got to explore Amherst and Northampton and checked out the other area colleges Smith, Mt Holyoke and UMass. The Pioneer Valley area is teeming with college students and didn't feel like it was "the boonies" which was a concern of hers. For the Admitted Students Day, we dropped her off on campus in the morning and were supposed to meet up for lunch, but she texted and asked if instead she could have lunch with a group of admitted students she had met. She said she really liked the campus and the "prospies" and current students she met and said she could see herself there. She also really liked that all the first years live together on the freshman quad (we did too...campus is gorgeous and the new Science Center is jaw dropping!). She's headed to Davidson this weekend where she'll be staying on campus with a current student (and family friend) and then attend the Admitted Students Day on Monday.

She has until May 1st to make her decision and she's declined her other acceptances so it is definitely down to these 2 schools. Hopefully, she'll be able to commit to one after next Monday! As parents, we realize she is blessed to have 2 wonderful choices in what turned out to be a difficult admissions cycle. We've left the decision her. She's earned that much.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 10:45     Subject: How to convince daughter not to follow her boyfriend to college?
Anonymous wrote:I bumped this thread because I want to know what OP's daughter decided! What happened??? I'm so invested.


Hopefully she let her daughter make her own decision. Sheesh!
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 09:41     Subject: How to convince daughter not to follow her boyfriend to college?
I bumped this thread because I want to know what OP's daughter decided! What happened??? I'm so invested.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2022 23:04     Subject: Re:How to convince daughter not to follow her boyfriend to college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What's with all the posts about Davidson all of a sudden? I hadn't considered it for my DC who is interested in smaller schools in the NE but maybe we should.


oh my kids LOVED Davidson when we visited. They didn't end up applying as they'd have to do ED to have a shot and choose another ED school. That said, my DD bought a Davidson sweatshirt when we visited and for the next year every time she wore it, someone stopped to talk to her about the school. I mean on the beach, on the airplane, at another college campus. She was actually going to write her essay for Davidson about "the sweatshirt" talking about all the people she met and how they were so passionate about their experiences with the school.

It is VERY tiny though.


So is Amherst.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2022 23:00     Subject: How to convince daughter not to follow her boyfriend to college?
Anonymous wrote:Tell her to consider that a lot of people have never heard of Davidson but have heard of Amherst. Then simply refuse to pay for Davidson.


Everyone knows Davidson. Steph Curry went there.