Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On a different note, why do married men profess that they are happily married but cheat? I don’t think you can be happily married and do and say nasty things behind your wife’s back but I hear it all the time. Memo to yourself if you are a cheater - you are not happily married just fyi

They are not a good/happy person but their marriage is good/their wife is good.

Stop hoping their marriage is bad and they are leaving her for you.

Not hoping their marriage is bad but think its better to say nothing at all the profess how great it is. Obviously it isn't that great. I suppose people tell themselves the things they want to hear.

It’s often situational. In my cheating years, midlife, I was struggling inside. I had death of a college friend and a parent. I had a lot of unresolved stuff..and I went out and cheated. Zero to do with my wife or kids.

I hit the lottery with my wife, in-laws and kids. I truly did. I would tell you and told my AP then that my marriage was great. I needed to deal with my demons.

That’s in the past and I do have a marriage and partnership and kids that are incredible. I’m very happy.

It wasn’t “me” when I went through that phase if that makes sense. I was not a good person then and what I was doing did not make me happy. It made things worse.

Most cheating men straight out lie to their AP about their marriage - and try to tell the AP that it is (negative this or that). AP's are too stupid to know the truth.

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow who was happily married and I have been floored by the number of married men who show interest….and pursue…..I never realized how many bored, unhappy, unappreciated men there are out there. If I didn’t object morally, it would be EASY.

Some men tell a sob story, because that is part of the schtick. Some women fall for anything - forgive the cliche, but they also stand for nothing.

Don't believe everything you hear.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow who was happily married and I have been floored by the number of married men who show interest….and pursue…..I never realized how many bored, unhappy, unappreciated men there are out there. If I didn’t object morally, it would be EASY.

+1. Married men are the worst; a very aggressive bunch who show blatant disregard for their wives/marriages. It is very appalling and rampant. I had no clue it was like this until I got divorced, but I am of the opinion that the married men are the aggressors, and wives are none the wiser.

--Signed, single and reporting from the field

I believe you, but there are divorced women who are the aggressors, too. They effed up their lives, and have no qualms trying to eff up someone else's life. Not saying this is you. The moms in my circle tend to know who is on the prowl. It's gross and obvious.

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow who was happily married and I have been floored by the number of married men who show interest….and pursue…..I never realized how many bored, unhappy, unappreciated men there are out there. If I didn’t object morally, it would be EASY.

+1. Married men are the worst; a very aggressive bunch who show blatant disregard for their wives/marriages. It is very appalling and rampant. I had no clue it was like this until I got divorced, but I am of the opinion that the married men are the aggressors, and wives are none the wiser.

--Signed, single and reporting from the field

However you want to say it, both parties lack a moral compass.

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow who was happily married and I have been floored by the number of married men who show interest….and pursue…..I never realized how many bored, unhappy, unappreciated men there are out there. If I didn’t object morally, it would be EASY.

It's most men. Whether we just chalk up men in general as amoral or women as unable to keep them satisfied, either way, monogamy doesn't work for most

Anonymous wrote:Am in a marriage where we just do not get along and are at loggerheads pretty much most of the time. Our views never match on anything. I want to leave she doesnot and threatens me with taking her life gets aggressive breaks down cries. Met my ex and realize more how much I love her, but my wife will not let me leave this marriage, however unhappy we are.

My wife and I lived together for years and had a wonderful sexual relationship. We got married when she was pregnant. After giving birth, she told me she had lost all interest in sex. I thought it was some kind of medical issue so “in sickness or in health” I thought I just had to suck it up and be celibate. After eleven years of celibacy I found out she was having an affair with a man she met on Tinder young enough to be her son. We had a huge fight, the worst argument I’ve ever had with anyone. We said we’d divorce but our eleven year old son begged us not to divorce. After that my wife grudgingly had sex with me twice then said she wasn’t going to do it anymore. Big mistake. So much for an annulment.

Since then, I’ve had sex about three times with Tinder dates.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow who was happily married and I have been floored by the number of married men who show interest….and pursue…..I never realized how many bored, unhappy, unappreciated men there are out there. If I didn’t object morally, it would be EASY.

Oh yes, let’s blame their wives. Your husband likely would have done the same thing to the widow.

And lest we forget how many married women throw themselves at a successful good looking make widower.

There is a savior component in all of this.

I’m sorry for your loss, but you really don’t need to put down other women whom you no zero about what really goes on in their marriage.

+1 these aren’t decent men. They are men trying to take advantage of a widower. It happened to my mother in her 70s!

And if she came into $$ after the death, life insurance, etc., even more swindlers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow who was happily married and I have been floored by the number of married men who show interest….and pursue…..I never realized how many bored, unhappy, unappreciated men there are out there. If I didn’t object morally, it would be EASY.

Oh yes, let’s blame their wives. Your husband likely would have done the same thing to the widow.

And lest we forget how many married women throw themselves at a successful good looking make widower.

There is a savior component in all of this.

I’m sorry for your loss, but you really don’t need to put down other women whom you no zero about what really goes on in their marriage.

+1 these aren’t decent men. They are men trying to take advantage of a widower. It happened to my mother in her 70s!

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow who was happily married and I have been floored by the number of married men who show interest….and pursue…..I never realized how many bored, unhappy, unappreciated men there are out there. If I didn’t object morally, it would be EASY.

Oh yes, let’s blame their wives. Your husband likely would have done the same thing to the widow.

And lest we forget how many married women throw themselves at a successful good looking make widower.

There is a savior component in all of this.

I’m sorry for your loss, but you really don’t need to put down other women whom you no zero about what really goes on in their marriage.

I am a widow who was happily married and I have been floored by the number of married men who show interest….and pursue…..I never realized how many bored, unhappy, unappreciated men there are out there. If I didn’t object morally, it would be EASY.

Am in a marriage where we just do not get along and are at loggerheads pretty much most of the time. Our views never match on anything. I want to leave she doesnot and threatens me with taking her life gets aggressive breaks down cries. Met my ex and realize more how much I love her, but my wife will not let me leave this marriage, however unhappy we are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On a different note, why do married men profess that they are happily married but cheat? I don’t think you can be happily married and do and say nasty things behind your wife’s back but I hear it all the time. Memo to yourself if you are a cheater - you are not happily married just fyi

They are not a good/happy person but their marriage is good/their wife is good.

Stop hoping their marriage is bad and they are leaving her for you.

Not hoping their marriage is bad but think its better to say nothing at all the profess how great it is. Obviously it isn't that great. I suppose people tell themselves the things they want to hear.

It’s often situational. In my cheating years, midlife, I was struggling inside. I had death of a college friend and a parent. I had a lot of unresolved stuff..and I went out and cheated. Zero to do with my wife or kids.

I hit the lottery with my wife, in-laws and kids. I truly did. I would tell you and told my AP then that my marriage was great. I needed to deal with my demons.

That’s in the past and I do have a marriage and partnership and kids that are incredible. I’m very happy.

It wasn’t “me” when I went through that phase if that makes sense. I was not a good person then and what I was doing did not make me happy. It made things worse.

Point is you could not take that to your wife. How great can the marriage be if you don’t trust her to see you at your most unlovable? I’m not saying it’s her fault you don’t trust, but don’t you see there is an intimacy issue between you and your wife that needed to be addressed and worked through if you couldn’t be yourself in your most vulnerable moment?

No. I grew up in a violent alcoholic household that learned to compartmentalize and hide our feelings. It’s not like I told the OW any of this. I was even more phony with her. My wife is the reason I finally decided to get help. She didn’t know it.

We are running. People like me. I’m the safest and I see what an incredible family my wife has and her mom and dad are the parents I always wished I had. It took her dad’s death, a man I respected so much to wake me up.

But, yes, the intimacy issue was mine. I never let anyone fully in prior. That’s changed now and this awful thing tore down all the walls.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On a different note, why do married men profess that they are happily married but cheat? I don’t think you can be happily married and do and say nasty things behind your wife’s back but I hear it all the time. Memo to yourself if you are a cheater - you are not happily married just fyi

They are not a good/happy person but their marriage is good/their wife is good.

Stop hoping their marriage is bad and they are leaving her for you.

Not hoping their marriage is bad but think its better to say nothing at all the profess how great it is. Obviously it isn't that great. I suppose people tell themselves the things they want to hear.

It’s often situational. In my cheating years, midlife, I was struggling inside. I had death of a college friend and a parent. I had a lot of unresolved stuff..and I went out and cheated. Zero to do with my wife or kids.

I hit the lottery with my wife, in-laws and kids. I truly did. I would tell you and told my AP then that my marriage was great. I needed to deal with my demons.

That’s in the past and I do have a marriage and partnership and kids that are incredible. I’m very happy.

It wasn’t “me” when I went through that phase if that makes sense. I was not a good person then and what I was doing did not make me happy. It made things worse.

Point is you could not take that to your wife. How great can the marriage be if you don’t trust her to see you at your most unlovable? I’m not saying it’s her fault you don’t trust, but don’t you see there is an intimacy issue between you and your wife that needed to be addressed and worked through if you couldn’t be yourself in your most vulnerable moment?

No. I grew up in a violent alcoholic household that learned to compartmentalize and hide our feelings. It’s not like I told the OW any of this. I was even more phony with her. My wife is the reason I finally decided to get help. She didn’t know it.

We are running. People like me. I’m the safest and I see what an incredible family my wife has and her mom and dad are the parents I always wished I had. It took her dad’s death, a man I respected so much to wake me up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On a different note, why do married men profess that they are happily married but cheat? I don’t think you can be happily married and do and say nasty things behind your wife’s back but I hear it all the time. Memo to yourself if you are a cheater - you are not happily married just fyi

They are not a good/happy person but their marriage is good/their wife is good.

Stop hoping their marriage is bad and they are leaving her for you.

Not hoping their marriage is bad but think its better to say nothing at all the profess how great it is. Obviously it isn't that great. I suppose people tell themselves the things they want to hear.

It’s often situational. In my cheating years, midlife, I was struggling inside. I had death of a college friend and a parent. I had a lot of unresolved stuff..and I went out and cheated. Zero to do with my wife or kids.

I hit the lottery with my wife, in-laws and kids. I truly did. I would tell you and told my AP then that my marriage was great. I needed to deal with my demons.

That’s in the past and I do have a marriage and partnership and kids that are incredible. I’m very happy.

It wasn’t “me” when I went through that phase if that makes sense. I was not a good person then and what I was doing did not make me happy. It made things worse.

Point is you could not take that to your wife. How great can the marriage be if you don’t trust her to see you at your most unlovable? I’m not saying it’s her fault you don’t trust, but don’t you see there is an intimacy issue between you and your wife that needed to be addressed and worked through if you couldn’t be yourself in your most vulnerable moment?