Anonymous
12/08/2021 17:14
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My husband:
High earner (~$500k)
Trust fund (~$5-10M)
In good shape and tall
Unique eye color
Cooks and cleans without being asked
Extremely patient, never yells
Loves animals, especially dogs
Great with our kids and does more than just the fun stuff
Supports my career by eagerly taking off work for unexpected last minute things and attends kid meetings instead of me
Conscientious about social issues like sexism, racism, wealth inequality
Expensive hobbies that put us in touch with the rich and powerful
Medium libido, 1-2x per week
Bi
Talks constantly about own hobbies and interests
Understands nothing about finance, spends a lot, I manage everything
Emotionally needy, needs constant verbal affirmation
Expects that I defer to him in major life decisions
Works constantly, always on screens, dips out of events to make calls
No grad degree, state school undergrad
Not interested in giving head
Job brings public scrutiny and death threats
Meddling family who have tried to break us apart
Bi? Sorry, total deal breaker
... but maybe the poster is a man?
What would that have to do with me? I said for me it would be a deal breaker. Also how do you know I’m not a man? A lot of gay people don’t want to be with bi people.
This is so sad given that there were so many other attributes listed.
So I bring up that the poster could be a guy and your first question is what that has to do with you? Message received.
Anonymous
12/08/2021 17:06
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:My DH:
- He’s advanced degreed from a 2nd tier state university
- He put himself through school and was the first generation of his family to go to college
- He grew up on a farm and can fix a lot of things
- He’s well traveled
- He’s had a pretty successful career and also built a side business
- He earns about 300k per year from his main job, makes about 180k annually in rent from his properties and has accumulated about $10M in net worth between stocks, homes (he owns 8 outright) and retirement money.
- People that work for him often claim that he’s the best person they’ve ever worked for and remain friends with him long after they’ve moved on to other roles or jobs.
- Overall he’s a good parent and very human but can be too easy at times
- He’s also very forgetful and has ADHD, our son has it too. He doesn’t take any meds but is still successful despite.
- He’s handsome 6’2” and still has all of his dark but gray on the sides hair at 50, he’s also reasonably fit, is objectively well endowed but sexually needy.
- He helps around the house and tries to address concerns I have.
- I don’t think that he does a good job of listening to me.
- He wants sex more than I do and gets frustrated if we go too long without.
- He forgets to do things.
- When we argue he tells me what the intent of my comments were and often doesn’t believe me when I tell him differently.
- He cooks maybe once every two weeks but is happy to help with cleanup.
- I feel like if I didn’t organize everything and keep him on track then nothing would get done and I have a job too which pays more than his.
ADHD? That’s a nope for me.
Anonymous
12/08/2021 16:56
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My husband:
High earner (~$500k)
Trust fund (~$5-10M)
In good shape and tall
Unique eye color
Cooks and cleans without being asked
Extremely patient, never yells
Loves animals, especially dogs
Great with our kids and does more than just the fun stuff
Supports my career by eagerly taking off work for unexpected last minute things and attends kid meetings instead of me
Conscientious about social issues like sexism, racism, wealth inequality
Expensive hobbies that put us in touch with the rich and powerful
Medium libido, 1-2x per week
Bi
Talks constantly about own hobbies and interests
Understands nothing about finance, spends a lot, I manage everything
Emotionally needy, needs constant verbal affirmation
Expects that I defer to him in major life decisions
Works constantly, always on screens, dips out of events to make calls
No grad degree, state school undergrad
Not interested in giving head
Job brings public scrutiny and death threats
Meddling family who have tried to break us apart
Bi? Sorry, total deal breaker
... but maybe the poster is a man?
What would that have to do with me? I said for me it would be a deal breaker. Also how do you know I’m not a man? A lot of gay people don’t want to be with bi people.
This is so sad given that there were so many other attributes listed.
I'm sure the tall, good looking, successful, extremely wealthy bi guy is worried that some middle manager fed lump doesn't want to marry him. Lol
Anonymous
12/08/2021 16:25
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My husband:
High earner (~$500k)
Trust fund (~$5-10M)
In good shape and tall
Unique eye color
Cooks and cleans without being asked
Extremely patient, never yells
Loves animals, especially dogs
Great with our kids and does more than just the fun stuff
Supports my career by eagerly taking off work for unexpected last minute things and attends kid meetings instead of me
Conscientious about social issues like sexism, racism, wealth inequality
Expensive hobbies that put us in touch with the rich and powerful
Medium libido, 1-2x per week
Bi
Talks constantly about own hobbies and interests
Understands nothing about finance, spends a lot, I manage everything
Emotionally needy, needs constant verbal affirmation
Expects that I defer to him in major life decisions
Works constantly, always on screens, dips out of events to make calls
No grad degree, state school undergrad
Not interested in giving head
Job brings public scrutiny and death threats
Meddling family who have tried to break us apart
Bi? Sorry, total deal breaker
... but maybe the poster is a man?
What would that have to do with me? I said for me it would be a deal breaker. Also how do you know I’m not a man? A lot of gay people don’t want to be with bi people.
This is so sad given that there were so many other attributes listed.
Anonymous
12/08/2021 16:25
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My husband:
High earner (~$500k)
Trust fund (~$5-10M)
In good shape and tall
Unique eye color
Cooks and cleans without being asked
Extremely patient, never yells
Loves animals, especially dogs
Great with our kids and does more than just the fun stuff
Supports my career by eagerly taking off work for unexpected last minute things and attends kid meetings instead of me
Conscientious about social issues like sexism, racism, wealth inequality
Expensive hobbies that put us in touch with the rich and powerful
Medium libido, 1-2x per week
Bi
Talks constantly about own hobbies and interests
Understands nothing about finance, spends a lot, I manage everything
Emotionally needy, needs constant verbal affirmation
Expects that I defer to him in major life decisions
Works constantly, always on screens, dips out of events to make calls
No grad degree, state school undergrad
Not interested in giving head
Job brings public scrutiny and death threats
Meddling family who have tried to break us apart
Bi? Sorry, total deal breaker
So weird.
Anonymous
12/08/2021 16:22
Subject: Re:Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Very good looking, pretty fit and a great athlete
Very successful but it’s not about the money he just likes to win
He’s great with our kids and loves being a kid
Does his almost fair share around the house and doesn’t complain about it.
Really respects my career choices and values my opinion
Very generous
Doesn’t care about clothes and it shows
Always very sweet to me and rarely gets angry
Great in bed and always wants to meet my needs
A bit of a homebody which I am not.
Very successful but it’s not about the money he just likes to win
He’s great with our kids and loves being a kid
Does his almost fair share around the house and doesn’t complain about it.
Really respects my career choices and values my opinion
Very generous
Doesn’t care about clothes and it shows
Always very sweet to me and rarely gets angry
Great in bed and always wants to meet my needs
A bit of a homebody which I am not.
Anonymous
12/08/2021 15:50
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
My DH:
- He’s advanced degreed from a 2nd tier state university
- He put himself through school and was the first generation of his family to go to college
- He grew up on a farm and can fix a lot of things
- He’s well traveled
- He’s had a pretty successful career and also built a side business
- He earns about 300k per year from his main job, makes about 180k annually in rent from his properties and has accumulated about $10M in net worth between stocks, homes (he owns 8 outright) and retirement money.
- People that work for him often claim that he’s the best person they’ve ever worked for and remain friends with him long after they’ve moved on to other roles or jobs.
- Overall he’s a good parent and very human but can be too easy at times
- He’s also very forgetful and has ADHD, our son has it too. He doesn’t take any meds but is still successful despite.
- He’s handsome 6’2” and still has all of his dark but gray on the sides hair at 50, he’s also reasonably fit, is objectively well endowed but sexually needy.
- He helps around the house and tries to address concerns I have.
- I don’t think that he does a good job of listening to me.
- He wants sex more than I do and gets frustrated if we go too long without.
- He forgets to do things.
- When we argue he tells me what the intent of my comments were and often doesn’t believe me when I tell him differently.
- He cooks maybe once every two weeks but is happy to help with cleanup.
- I feel like if I didn’t organize everything and keep him on track then nothing would get done and I have a job too which pays more than his.
- He’s advanced degreed from a 2nd tier state university
- He put himself through school and was the first generation of his family to go to college
- He grew up on a farm and can fix a lot of things
- He’s well traveled
- He’s had a pretty successful career and also built a side business
- He earns about 300k per year from his main job, makes about 180k annually in rent from his properties and has accumulated about $10M in net worth between stocks, homes (he owns 8 outright) and retirement money.
- People that work for him often claim that he’s the best person they’ve ever worked for and remain friends with him long after they’ve moved on to other roles or jobs.
- Overall he’s a good parent and very human but can be too easy at times
- He’s also very forgetful and has ADHD, our son has it too. He doesn’t take any meds but is still successful despite.
- He’s handsome 6’2” and still has all of his dark but gray on the sides hair at 50, he’s also reasonably fit, is objectively well endowed but sexually needy.
- He helps around the house and tries to address concerns I have.
- I don’t think that he does a good job of listening to me.
- He wants sex more than I do and gets frustrated if we go too long without.
- He forgets to do things.
- When we argue he tells me what the intent of my comments were and often doesn’t believe me when I tell him differently.
- He cooks maybe once every two weeks but is happy to help with cleanup.
- I feel like if I didn’t organize everything and keep him on track then nothing would get done and I have a job too which pays more than his.
Anonymous
12/08/2021 12:58
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My husband:
High earner (~$500k)
Trust fund (~$5-10M)
In good shape and tall
Unique eye color
Cooks and cleans without being asked
Extremely patient, never yells
Loves animals, especially dogs
Great with our kids and does more than just the fun stuff
Supports my career by eagerly taking off work for unexpected last minute things and attends kid meetings instead of me
Conscientious about social issues like sexism, racism, wealth inequality
Expensive hobbies that put us in touch with the rich and powerful
Medium libido, 1-2x per week
Bi
Talks constantly about own hobbies and interests
Understands nothing about finance, spends a lot, I manage everything
Emotionally needy, needs constant verbal affirmation
Expects that I defer to him in major life decisions
Works constantly, always on screens, dips out of events to make calls
No grad degree, state school undergrad
Not interested in giving head
Job brings public scrutiny and death threats
Meddling family who have tried to break us apart
Bi? Sorry, total deal breaker
... but maybe the poster is a man?
What would that have to do with me? I said for me it would be a deal breaker. Also how do you know I’m not a man? A lot of gay people don’t want to be with bi people.
Anonymous
12/08/2021 12:56
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My husband:
High earner (~$500k)
Trust fund (~$5-10M)
In good shape and tall
Unique eye color
Cooks and cleans without being asked
Extremely patient, never yells
Loves animals, especially dogs
Great with our kids and does more than just the fun stuff
Supports my career by eagerly taking off work for unexpected last minute things and attends kid meetings instead of me
Conscientious about social issues like sexism, racism, wealth inequality
Expensive hobbies that put us in touch with the rich and powerful
Medium libido, 1-2x per week
Bi
Talks constantly about own hobbies and interests
Understands nothing about finance, spends a lot, I manage everything
Emotionally needy, needs constant verbal affirmation
Expects that I defer to him in major life decisions
Works constantly, always on screens, dips out of events to make calls
No grad degree, state school undergrad
Not interested in giving head
Job brings public scrutiny and death threats
Meddling family who have tried to break us apart
Bi? Sorry, total deal breaker
... but maybe the poster is a man?
Anonymous
12/08/2021 12:50
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:My husband:
High earner (~$500k)
Trust fund (~$5-10M)
In good shape and tall
Unique eye color
Cooks and cleans without being asked
Extremely patient, never yells
Loves animals, especially dogs
Great with our kids and does more than just the fun stuff
Supports my career by eagerly taking off work for unexpected last minute things and attends kid meetings instead of me
Conscientious about social issues like sexism, racism, wealth inequality
Expensive hobbies that put us in touch with the rich and powerful
Medium libido, 1-2x per week
Bi
Talks constantly about own hobbies and interests
Understands nothing about finance, spends a lot, I manage everything
Emotionally needy, needs constant verbal affirmation
Expects that I defer to him in major life decisions
Works constantly, always on screens, dips out of events to make calls
No grad degree, state school undergrad
Not interested in giving head
Job brings public scrutiny and death threats
Meddling family who have tried to break us apart
Bi? Sorry, total deal breaker
Anonymous
12/08/2021 12:46
Subject: Re:Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:DW
Pretty, great as-, could lose ten pounds
Sexy, sexy dresser
Great in bed, about once/week, occasionally less, occasionally more
Highly educated, good schools
Speaks three languages, well-traveled
Well read, interesting, curious, charming, fun--great dinner party guest
Underemployed and part-time
A bit disorganized
Moody, suffers from depression but takes meds
Introverted and needs a lot of rest
(No kids together and won't have any. I have grown kids from first marriage).
I could handle the negatives if she's self-aware. Financially, this would be fine for me.
Anonymous
12/08/2021 12:39
Subject: Re:Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My wife:
Educated, PhD from good school
Wonderful mom, on top of all the kids schedules, heavily involved in schools
Good fashion sense.
Likes to have fun, decent sense of humor
Excellent shape, into fitness
Great cook.
Zero libido, not willing to work on it. Sex 3-6x a year for last decade.
Oh, forgot to mention, SAHM, hasn't worked in 14 years
Would be in except for the last thing. I don't understand not working after your kids are in school.
Interesting, so there are lots of men out there who are fine with little to no sex or you would just cheat and deal with it that way?
Sorry I should had added that I'm a (straight) woman, just playing along with the game. I probably have a lower libido than an average man so the low libido didn't stand out to me. I wouldn't want to be in a sexless marriage.
Got it.
I think most men would prefer to be married to an unorganized slob with a high libido than this guy's wife, but if you are low libido she sounds great
As an unorganized slob with a high libido, I really want to believe this is true, but I am not sure.
another man here - yes, all important things being equal (shared values, morals), I'll take a high libido unorganized messy woman over a neat freak, in control zero libido woman any day of the week and twice on Sundays.
Anonymous
12/08/2021 12:37
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My husband:
High earner (~$500k)
Trust fund (~$5-10M)
In good shape and tall
Unique eye color
Cooks and cleans without being asked
Extremely patient, never yells
Loves animals, especially dogs
Great with our kids and does more than just the fun stuff
Supports my career by eagerly taking off work for unexpected last minute things and attends kid meetings instead of me
Conscientious about social issues like sexism, racism, wealth inequality
Expensive hobbies that put us in touch with the rich and powerful
Medium libido, 1-2x per week
Bi
Talks constantly about own hobbies and interests
Understands nothing about finance, spends a lot, I manage everything
Emotionally needy, needs constant verbal affirmation
Expects that I defer to him in major life decisions
Works constantly, always on screens, dips out of events to make calls
No grad degree, state school undergrad
Not interested in giving head
Job brings public scrutiny and death threats
Meddling family who have tried to break us apart
These three are really bad. Does he expect BJs?
DP. It's interesting, though I don't know what to make of it, that the PP listed "bi" and just dropped it in the middle of the list. Big deal? Not a big deal? Posted like that to get us intrigued? No way to tell.
If the work is valuable to society and helps others, getting public scrutiny and even threats is not necessarily bad unless the threats create real stress for the whole family and target the kids.
To me, the constant working is a red flag, and the expectation of deference in "major life decisions" is a big old stop sign. That's domineering, and potentially negates the positives to a pretty big degree. As kids get older and couples get older, the life decisions get bigger, and there is more pushback from kids (college choice, career choice, where to live, whom to date or marry). A "my way or the highway" expectation of deference does not wear well over time and can alienate kids as well as spouses. Of course we dont know if the spouse who posted that list actually does defer, or pushes back, and we dont know how this guy reacts to that. Kind of crucial. If the spouse's job, which the guy supports so much, meant moving to another state etc. -- which wins, the "I make all major decisions" guy or the "I support your career" guy? Lots to unpack.
Yeah, I'm not sure why bi is relevant unless he wants a hall pass to sleep with men. If they're in a monogamous marriage and she trusts him, this shouldn't matter
Anonymous
12/08/2021 12:35
Subject: Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My husband:
High earner (~$500k)
Trust fund (~$5-10M)
In good shape and tall
Unique eye color
Cooks and cleans without being asked
Extremely patient, never yells
Loves animals, especially dogs
Great with our kids and does more than just the fun stuff
Supports my career by eagerly taking off work for unexpected last minute things and attends kid meetings instead of me
Conscientious about social issues like sexism, racism, wealth inequality
Expensive hobbies that put us in touch with the rich and powerful
Medium libido, 1-2x per week
Bi
Talks constantly about own hobbies and interests
Understands nothing about finance, spends a lot, I manage everything
Emotionally needy, needs constant verbal affirmation
Expects that I defer to him in major life decisions
Works constantly, always on screens, dips out of events to make calls
No grad degree, state school undergrad
Not interested in giving head
Job brings public scrutiny and death threats
Meddling family who have tried to break us apart
These three are really bad. Does he expect BJs?
DP. It's interesting, though I don't know what to make of it, that the PP listed "bi" and just dropped it in the middle of the list. Big deal? Not a big deal? Posted like that to get us intrigued? No way to tell.
If the work is valuable to society and helps others, getting public scrutiny and even threats is not necessarily bad unless the threats create real stress for the whole family and target the kids.
To me, the constant working is a red flag, and the expectation of deference in "major life decisions" is a big old stop sign. That's domineering, and potentially negates the positives to a pretty big degree. As kids get older and couples get older, the life decisions get bigger, and there is more pushback from kids (college choice, career choice, where to live, whom to date or marry). A "my way or the highway" expectation of deference does not wear well over time and can alienate kids as well as spouses. Of course we dont know if the spouse who posted that list actually does defer, or pushes back, and we dont know how this guy reacts to that. Kind of crucial. If the spouse's job, which the guy supports so much, meant moving to another state etc. -- which wins, the "I make all major decisions" guy or the "I support your career" guy? Lots to unpack.
Anonymous
12/08/2021 12:34
Subject: Re:Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse
Hair
Tallish
Will not share salary amount, so don’t know
Insists I pay for most things but brings home many interesting finds
Responsible citizen
Sings to others
Loves animals, children, plants
Trustworthy but suspicious
Suffers from Onychomycosis but blames others
Makes own furniture
Makes own clothes
Handy with some repairs
Good with math
Enjoys mopping, polishing and other cleaning duties
Expressive painter and poet
Pays most taxes
Respectful of other cultures within reason
Opposes repression
Supports empowerment
Not afraid to dance including alone
Understands science
Enjoys television
Rides adult trike as main mode of transportation for short distances
Good at organizing household items
Frugal with perishables
Experimental eater
Moderate drinker in week
Loves maps
Tallish
Will not share salary amount, so don’t know
Insists I pay for most things but brings home many interesting finds
Responsible citizen
Sings to others
Loves animals, children, plants
Trustworthy but suspicious
Suffers from Onychomycosis but blames others
Makes own furniture
Makes own clothes
Handy with some repairs
Good with math
Enjoys mopping, polishing and other cleaning duties
Expressive painter and poet
Pays most taxes
Respectful of other cultures within reason
Opposes repression
Supports empowerment
Not afraid to dance including alone
Understands science
Enjoys television
Rides adult trike as main mode of transportation for short distances
Good at organizing household items
Frugal with perishables
Experimental eater
Moderate drinker in week
Loves maps