Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh God. The insane "high value" nut found this threat.

“High value” is a common phrase used by women nowadays. Women know exactly what it means, it’s not an unusual term, even if you may be out of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m AA woman who grew up MC, educated my way into the UMC and married an UMC black man. Pretty much the impossible, especially compared to my white girlfriends. If you’ve seen the news in the last 20 years, you’ll know we have a ratio problem that many black men take advantage of. So, my perspective, as someone who had real uphill battle on the marriage front more generally: The easiest way to meet these men is to be their peers from 18-28 (school, very early career) and to start seriously dating for marriage at mid your mid 20s at the latest. Education is key - not because men care about it, but it’s an easy (albeit unfair) screening device for intelligence level, work ethic, and similar life outlook. Those men are usually out the dating pool by 28/29 and married by 31-32.

I’m going to guess that the men that you’re trying to marry perhaps were NOT your peers in your 20s, which is why you’re struggling to meet them now. If I were you, I would pivot to men with good, but not amazing careers, who will make good husbands and fathers. And perhaps you can be the primary breadwinner to get the lifestyle you want. That would seem far preferable to me than the other outcome - you never find a partner.

Those guys are married. Nice guys (as in actual nice guys, not 'nice guys') who are decent looking and have good educations and want families are already married. As much as I always thought the admissions tour pitch about marrying the first person you kiss on this bridge or walking with your future spouse on that path, so many of the men I know who fit PP's description are married to college girlfriends.

This is excellent advice and it’s exactly what I did as a single 30 year old in DC a few years ago. The white collar professional guys kept rejecting me so I married a man who works in IT but who I could tell had potential (we are both immigrants but he was much more recent). I married him and he has more than doubled his salary. You need to settle OP. Your friends won’t tell you this, mine sure didn’t, but I knew the truth and telling myself that the doctors and engineers who didn’t go for me didn’t represent anything would have been incredibly short sighted on my part.

Yes, most guys I know who fit thar description that have stable but non exciting jobs are married to college and even high school girlfriends. Or girlfriends they met right after college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m AA woman who grew up MC, educated my way into the UMC and married an UMC black man. Pretty much the impossible, especially compared to my white girlfriends. If you’ve seen the news in the last 20 years, you’ll know we have a ratio problem that many black men take advantage of. So, my perspective, as someone who had real uphill battle on the marriage front more generally: The easiest way to meet these men is to be their peers from 18-28 (school, very early career) and to start seriously dating for marriage at mid your mid 20s at the latest. Education is key - not because men care about it, but it’s an easy (albeit unfair) screening device for intelligence level, work ethic, and similar life outlook. Those men are usually out the dating pool by 28/29 and married by 31-32.

I’m going to guess that the men that you’re trying to marry perhaps were NOT your peers in your 20s, which is why you’re struggling to meet them now. If I were you, I would pivot to men with good, but not amazing careers, who will make good husbands and fathers. And perhaps you can be the primary breadwinner to get the lifestyle you want. That would seem far preferable to me than the other outcome - you never find a partner.

Those guys are married. Nice guys (as in actual nice guys, not 'nice guys') who are decent looking and have good educations and want families are already married. As much as I always thought the admissions tour pitch about marrying the first person you kiss on this bridge or walking with your future spouse on that path, so many of the men I know who fit PP's description are married to college girlfriends.

Yes, most guys I know who fit thar description that have stable but non exciting jobs are married to college and even high school girlfriends. Or girlfriends they met right after college.

Anonymous wrote:30-40 year old UMC men who are confident and in shape are regularly getting hit on by college girls and young professional women in their mid-20s, married or otherwise. They don't need to be on dating apps. All they need to do is show up. I'm just a normal guy in late 30s with above average fashion sense and confidence, and I have been approached by multiple younger women at bars. My wife and I went to a dance club right before COVID and a girl in college propositioned us for a threesome, and she was hot too. My wife is 8 years younger than me and that seems to be a good age difference. Whoever said before that a woman 15 years younger will go after the pool boy is an idiot. Do you even know any UMC couples with an age difference? I've never heard of this. What I do see is a good number of people making 300k-1m where the wife is 5-15 years younger and they grow old happily together. The dude is 60 the wife is 45 and she goes for the pool boy? pffffff dumbest fantasy land story I have ever heard. No pool boy wants a 45 year old woman and no 45 year old woman wants a pool boy unless she has a mental disorder

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m AA woman who grew up MC, educated my way into the UMC and married an UMC black man. Pretty much the impossible, especially compared to my white girlfriends. If you’ve seen the news in the last 20 years, you’ll know we have a ratio problem that many black men take advantage of. So, my perspective, as someone who had real uphill battle on the marriage front more generally: The easiest way to meet these men is to be their peers from 18-28 (school, very early career) and to start seriously dating for marriage at mid your mid 20s at the latest. Education is key - not because men care about it, but it’s an easy (albeit unfair) screening device for intelligence level, work ethic, and similar life outlook. Those men are usually out the dating pool by 28/29 and married by 31-32.

I’m going to guess that the men that you’re trying to marry perhaps were NOT your peers in your 20s, which is why you’re struggling to meet them now. If I were you, I would pivot to men with good, but not amazing careers, who will make good husbands and fathers. And perhaps you can be the primary breadwinner to get the lifestyle you want. That would seem far preferable to me than the other outcome - you never find a partner.

Those guys are married. Nice guys (as in actual nice guys, not 'nice guys') who are decent looking and have good educations and want families are already married. As much as I always thought the admissions tour pitch about marrying the first person you kiss on this bridge or walking with your future spouse on that path, so many of the men I know who fit PP's description are married to college girlfriends.

Not all of them are. A lot are, but some aren’t.

I probably fall into the category of nice guy, who is decent looking, with a good education and high earning job. I can say that I skipped at least two potential marriages -- one to a college girlfriend and one to a law school girlfriend. In both instances, it was partly that they were need and demanding, and partly that marriage was nowhere near on my radar until I hit about 29. Point being, OP is at the perfect age to meet single guys with good jobs/education who are just now thinking about marriage, and probably have some angry exes waiting in the wings. The other piece is that OP needs to understand that her pressure to get married is not the same as any boyfriends, and she needs to walk that fine line between making sure the guy is serious about relationships but also not being a pain to deal with and full of guilt trips and ultimatums. I don't envy that balancing act. Obviously, the AA woman being quoted here started laying the groundwork earlier, which was wise.

Anonymous wrote:30-40 year old UMC men who are confident and in shape are regularly getting hit on by college girls and young professional women in their mid-20s, married or otherwise. They don't need to be on dating apps. All they need to do is show up. I'm just a normal guy in late 30s with above average fashion sense and confidence, and I have been approached by multiple younger women at bars. My wife and I went to a dance club right before COVID and a girl in college propositioned us for a threesome, and she was hot too. My wife is 8 years younger than me and that seems to be a good age difference. Whoever said before that a woman 15 years younger will go after the pool boy is an idiot. Do you even know any UMC couples with an age difference? I've never heard of this. What I do see is a good number of people making 300k-1m where the wife is 5-15 years younger and they grow old happily together. The dude is 60 the wife is 45 and she goes for the pool boy? pffffff dumbest fantasy land story I have ever heard. No pool boy wants a 45 year old woman and no 45 year old woman wants a pool boy unless she has a mental disorder

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m AA woman who grew up MC, educated my way into the UMC and married an UMC black man. Pretty much the impossible, especially compared to my white girlfriends. If you’ve seen the news in the last 20 years, you’ll know we have a ratio problem that many black men take advantage of. So, my perspective, as someone who had real uphill battle on the marriage front more generally: The easiest way to meet these men is to be their peers from 18-28 (school, very early career) and to start seriously dating for marriage at mid your mid 20s at the latest. Education is key - not because men care about it, but it’s an easy (albeit unfair) screening device for intelligence level, work ethic, and similar life outlook. Those men are usually out the dating pool by 28/29 and married by 31-32.

I’m going to guess that the men that you’re trying to marry perhaps were NOT your peers in your 20s, which is why you’re struggling to meet them now. If I were you, I would pivot to men with good, but not amazing careers, who will make good husbands and fathers. And perhaps you can be the primary breadwinner to get the lifestyle you want. That would seem far preferable to me than the other outcome - you never find a partner.

Those guys are married. Nice guys (as in actual nice guys, not 'nice guys') who are decent looking and have good educations and want families are already married. As much as I always thought the admissions tour pitch about marrying the first person you kiss on this bridge or walking with your future spouse on that path, so many of the men I know who fit PP's description are married to college girlfriends.

Not all of them are. A lot are, but some aren’t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh God. The insane "high value" nut found this threat.

“High value” is a common phrase used by women nowadays. Women know exactly what it means, it’s not an unusual term, even if you may be out of it.

Quick question, what portion of men are high value? Out of those, how man are single and age appropriate for OP? How many are going to be attracted to OP? It seems like as you add more questions, that actual number of men who qualify will be come vanishingly small.

I have no idea the exact numbers, only that I know it when I see it. And you aren’t one.

There are plenty of HVM left. OP could absolutely find one. She should date younger though

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh God. The insane "high value" nut found this threat.

“High value” is a common phrase used by women nowadays. Women know exactly what it means, it’s not an unusual term, even if you may be out of it.

Quick question, what portion of men are high value? Out of those, how man are single and age appropriate for OP? How many are going to be attracted to OP? It seems like as you add more questions, that actual number of men who qualify will be come vanishingly small.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh God. The insane "high value" nut found this threat.

“High value” is a common phrase used by women nowadays. Women know exactly what it means, it’s not an unusual term, even if you may be out of it.