DH complains about this to his mother about her house. I think it’s rude and told him he should stop complaining like a child and get a hotel. Or at least blame it on him getting older and his back, not her mattress. The mattress is old and terrible but she doesn’t need to spend the money for a new one. Yes, I also told him he could buy one. It’s a little different for a parent, I would never buy a guest mattress for a sibling. Personally I’m encouraging the hotel.

Anonymous wrote:Buy a new mattress for them. That's a nice gesture. Have your wife make the offer and buy it. If I was SIL, I would appreciate that.

Lol. You are crazy. “Buy a mattress for them.” 😆😆

OP- Yes! Mention it nicely! I would want to know if I was hosting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they are adults.

You either deal with it or decline their invitation and sleep in a hotel.

My in laws told us our mattress was terrible when we were younger and really didn't have money to buy a mattress (my own parents bought our kid's mattress around that time) and I will never forget how bad it made me feel. They weren't trying to be mean, but they are clueless and of the mindset that adult kids should always treat their parents, even if they have no means to do so.

You had a kid while being in such a financially precarious position that you couldn’t afford a $200 mattress? Yeesh

Good grief---what kind of crap mattress are you buying that's only $200? Even 30 years ago when I bought my first queen mattress, it was $500 and not even close to the cheapest one. I just paid $1000 on sale for a "pillow top" mattress that sucked so bad I had to buy a mattress topper for it at ikea for another $200. I think the bare minimum you should expect to pay for even a mediocre mattress is $1000, and if you want something decent add another $500-1000 on top of that.

*I’m* not buying $200 mattresses, but decent ones are certainly available (eg Sleep Innovations on Amazon) so I’m surprised PP could not even afford that much. I mean, if you’re going to be so inhospitable/cheap and subject your guests to a terrible mattress, then just tell them up front not to stay at your house!

I’m not saying OP’s SIL is like this PP. That may be a case of genuine oversight that will be fixed (and she’ll be grateful to know).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DW tells her sibling. You keep your mouth shut.

This

absolutely this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they are adults.

You either deal with it or decline their invitation and sleep in a hotel.

My in laws told us our mattress was terrible when we were younger and really didn't have money to buy a mattress (my own parents bought our kid's mattress around that time) and I will never forget how bad it made me feel. They weren't trying to be mean, but they are clueless and of the mindset that adult kids should always treat their parents, even if they have no means to do so.

You had a kid while being in such a financially precarious position that you couldn’t afford a $200 mattress? Yeesh

Good grief---what kind of crap mattress are you buying that's only $200? Even 30 years ago when I bought my first queen mattress, it was $500 and not even close to the cheapest one. I just paid $1000 on sale for a "pillow top" mattress that sucked so bad I had to buy a mattress topper for it at ikea for another $200. I think the bare minimum you should expect to pay for even a mediocre mattress is $1000, and if you want something decent add another $500-1000 on top of that.

Anonymous wrote:No, they are adults.

You either deal with it or decline their invitation and sleep in a hotel.

My in laws told us our mattress was terrible when we were younger and really didn't have money to buy a mattress (my own parents bought our kid's mattress around that time) and I will never forget how bad it made me feel. They weren't trying to be mean, but they are clueless and of the mindset that adult kids should always treat their parents, even if they have no means to do so.

You had a kid while being in such a financially precarious position that you couldn’t afford a $200 mattress? Yeesh

“We’re planning on staying in a hotel this time. My back has been really finicky lately.”

“Oh, is our mattress uncomfortable?”

“It hasn’t been working for my back—but we’d be more than happy to pay for a new mattress if you were thinking of getting one.”

I would definitely want to know. And a good lesson for those of us with guests. Ask your guests if the mattress is ok or if it needs replacing (assuming you have an older mattress).

My ILs have mattresses in guest rooms that are literally 40+ years old. Same ones from when DH and brother were children. They have enough money to replace, and no idea why they don't.

I would tell them or buy them a new one if it were my own parents. But we don't say anything, just very rarely stay there. Last time DH brought a blow-up bed to place on floor next to the bed, and he felt all guulty about it the whole time, hahaha.

I would want to know. Or you can buy a memory foam topper and pack it in your suitcase. Or tell her that you're having back issues and does she mind if you leave the topper in her closet. They box up pretty small if you squish them down.

I would want to know. We had friends stay with us one time and we put their teenage son in a room with a fold-out couch. After they left we saw that it totally broke and was leaning sideways. We replaced it but I felt so terrible that he didn’t say anything and slept on a leaning bed!

My cousins very gently broke the news to me when I asked them one morning, “did you sleep all right?” They looked at each other significantly….and I was like, “What?! Please tell me!” And they broke it to me that they hated my mattress. Granted, I had had it since I was in college in 1992. Basically, i owed that matters money. It had done its job.

I was so grateful to my cousins for telling me the truth and embarrassed that they stayed many times without saying anything!

Unless they’re poor, I would tell them. And if you have the $ to offer to spring for one, I would do that.

Anonymous wrote:Your DW tells her sibling. You keep your mouth shut.

This

My ILs said this about our barely used 2 year old guest room mattress. I think we’d had 3 guests. We also had no money to replace it at the time. Come to find out they just thought we should have a bigger mattress for them to use because they sleep on a king at home. Sorry. Your personal mattress preference is not my problem. Go to a hotel.

But a different story if we are talking about a 15 year old lumpy mattress with springs poking through!

I'd tell her. We have a lot of guests at our beach house and have replaced 2 mattresses in the last couple of years because people let us know they were shot. We don't sleep in the guest rooms so have no way to know and appreciated the heads up.