Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I just need the right words to talk to her about it.. her response is just "well I was trying to lighten the mood because you made so and so feel awkward" and I want to be like "f*ck off. I have sat and listened to everyone single person at this table's problems 100X over. It's not always about everyone else"

So say this, if it is how you feel. Honestly they soumd like shit friends anyway if they don't remember that your husband died a year ago.

This. You shouldn't feel like you can't tell your friend how you feel about her comment. It sounds like you need support, and they should be there to support you. If they are not providing that support or you don't feel comfortable talking with them for support, then I think you might want to start looking for some new friends and distance yourself to become less close with this group. Some people cannot handle grief and do not end up being there in the way you need when bad things happen.

Anonymous wrote:This type of story appears again and again. I'm not complaining about your post op. It just seems like more and more people are uncaring sh*ts.

I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you can find some compassionate friends.

+1

More and more, I find people who say others should “go to therapy” and never discuss a problem or seek advice from a friend. I grieved this past year and didn’t bring it up with anyone either.

I’m sorry, OP. It stinks.

Hi OP, I'm so sorry for your loss.
In my experience, too many people are insensitive to death and grief. It's terrible. You can explain to her that it still hurts and you'd appreciate support. If she still doesn't get it or at least makes an effort, she's an ass.

I've lost a parent and over 10 years later, it still hurts a lot. I think it won't ever stop hurting. On the death anniversary, I avoid meeting other people and make a point of reminding my husband that I need a nuclear family weekend.

Figure out what you need/want on important dates for you and do that.
Ditch the friend for good if needed.

I don't think I'd bother having this conversation. If you have to explain it, she's a lost cause. Find some better friends.

OP your rage sounds like misdirected grief. Let it go with that friend, it's not important what she said. She is clearly lacking in the emotional intelligence dept and everyone would likely have been MORE embarrassed by her than have the tension reduced.

Move on. And I'm very sorry for your loss, too.

This type of story appears again and again. I'm not complaining about your post op. It just seems like more and more people are uncaring sh*ts.

I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you can find some compassionate friends.

"...there's a rage inside of me"

OP, are you going to any kind of grief counseling or a grief-support group?

I had a similar issue with the loss of a loved one and I went to a (free) grief support group.

It was very helpful to me. Hearing other's similar stories and telling my own was a way to let off some of the steam/rage I was feeling when having to deal with people who were oblivious.