I met my younger hot boyfriend on Tinder. He is very sweet and easy on the eyes. Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:
take years to find a date.. this is not after college

Why assume the OP isn't college educated?
YEARS? Come on. The reason I am not on apps is because I met people paying Tinder for two years with no girlfriend, like the algorithm is designed to carrot dangle to extract the most money. Appless, my ex said "you tend to date other people within 5 minutes" but I'd give OP a far more realistic week in case she's on her period and doesn't feel like hiking. Among older boomer-types, I have only heard of heavyset folks (bars not hiking) on apps.

In 2019, 60% of LTRs were formed offline.
The only OLD marriages I know are from Match with one Tinder. The Tinder is a racist, rude, unattractive guy and they started with a 1-night-stand. She is pretty cute and is fully able-bodied, but is a stay-at-home childless wife/non-mom. They spend a lot of time apart and the guy is kinda creepy towards other women. I know many people on apps looking for an ego boost with ridiculous standards because of the endless options. I think OP may like IRL or Match and will get a quality date WAY faster IRL. Some women don't care the slightest about salary or race, and are far more concerned with treatment of others, values, faithfulness, respect (eg honesty vs ghosting) etc which aren't options/encouraged by apps.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't have kids.
I don't go to bars/parties.

Good! Good! Next elimination:
couples therapy (to hear what frustrates a man) vs concert (to find a guy who appreciates culture)

If you don't go to discussion groups or concerts, list two locations you are willing to attend.

I like art and history so I would go to a museum

I like crafts and foods so I go to farmer's markets

I like animals will go anywhere with animals.

I like the outdoors I go on hikes and birdwatches

This is not great advice for a relationship past the age of 25.

You can't critique without offering an alternative so what's your advice? Also I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm looking for dates, relationships can ( or mot) grow from that.

I am the poster who suggested apps. They are efficient. You know people are looking for dates. At random things, you have no idea who is single. It would take years to find a date that way. People are busy. You need to go where you know people are looking for dates...this is not college or after college...go online.

Since you love dogs, you should go to the single and mingle night! I don't think you have to actually have a dog to attend.

https://barksocial.com/pages/events

I just turned 40 and had taken a long dating hiatus to get some therapy and then wasn't open to dating during the pandemic. When things finally opened up, I was apparently really feeling myself because the first time I went to grab wine with a girlfriend I ended up chatting with a guy who had just moved here and pretty brazenly left him my number on my way out without having any idea if he was single or interested really. I have NEVER done that before. We've been dating two months now and he is such a good man. Never know how things will turn out but I do like him a lot.

So just saying that apps aren't the only option. but meeting other ways may require a step outside your comfort zone. I still don't know what I was thinking that night and woke up mortified, but I guess alls well that ends well. Be brave and put yourself out on the line if you see something you like...you never know what might happen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No advice. I use apps when I feel like dating. I had three dates last week. I am early 40s.

I would not have time to randomly meet in other ways. Apps are efficient.

Agree - apps are the best of the lousy options. . . Few people are looking for a date and at least with an app everyone is. The key is filtering out the losers of whom there are many.

Absolutely!

- Bars are loud and awful; most there are only looking for casual sex.

- Interest clubs (like running) are better - but many are actually there for the interest and not to meet / mate. Hard to tell who is who.

Intentions are clear with dating websites.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ask random men on a date? I currently don't have any prospects.

It's already working. I am trying you to get to think about how you "advertise" to men you want to be asked out. At this point your brain is going to random. Starting there... where do you find "random" men who would be interested? Playdate at Applebees vs party or couples therapy vs concert. What is the next link coming from your brain...

It could be that my ADHD meds are wearing off now, but I truly have no idea what you are talking about.

I’m don’t have ADHD and I have no idea what they’re talking about either!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I like art and history so I would go to a museum

I like crafts and foods so I go to farmer's markets

I like animals will go anywhere with animals.

I like the outdoors I go on hikes and birdwatches

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/champagne-secret-door-tour-tickets-161255492519 Ask the old ladies if they have any cute sons. Do not be conscious, nobody can help if they don't know the problem.
Make self-deprecating jokes in theme with the tour. "Penguins die off if they leave the pack"--"Being single, let's hope I meet someone or humans have a better fate!"

There is a Crystal City and Arcadia Alex Farmer's M. tomorrow. Pay attention to everything from the pull in -is he in a minivan, carrying a toddler, buying family size groceries, dressed to impress, showing up after work (5:45+ for 3-7pm)? Practice with small talk until it doesn't sound instructed. E.G., "Perfect weather for this! Any other things to do nearby?", "You like you come here a lot? Any must trys?" "This is great! How did you hear about things like this?" Then ask a man and memorize why he was so approachable.

https://www.awla.org/volunteer/become-a-volunteer/. When you volunteer, announce that besides the obvi canine love, you are trying get your mind off being single.

https://www.rei.com/events/88071/hike-and-hops-little-devils-stairs-and-pen-druid-brewing?course.session.anyLocation=100.000000%7E38.907192%7E-77.036871%3Bgeo_r. find a hike and mention that you have a lot of free time for this living alone and being {sheepishly} "well..um between boyfriends?"

Good luck! You've got this! At a minimum you will get some exercise and produce tips and have some fun.

This is a solid plan, but hardly less tedious than apps! Basically you have to enter every social scene with a “open for dates” sign, via small talk and flirting and hope you just didn’t hit the dad who doesn’t wear his wedding band.

What would you suggest besides apps?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I like art and history so I would go to a museum

I like crafts and foods so I go to farmer's markets

I like animals will go anywhere with animals.

I like the outdoors I go on hikes and birdwatches

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/champagne-secret-door-tour-tickets-161255492519 Ask the old ladies if they have any cute sons. Do not be conscious, nobody can help if they don't know the problem.
Make self-deprecating jokes in theme with the tour. "Penguins die off if they leave the pack"--"Being single, let's hope I meet someone or humans have a better fate!"

There is a Crystal City and Arcadia Alex Farmer's M. tomorrow. Pay attention to everything from the pull in -is he in a minivan, carrying a toddler, buying family size groceries, dressed to impress, showing up after work (5:45+ for 3-7pm)? Practice with small talk until it doesn't sound instructed. E.G., "Perfect weather for this! Any other things to do nearby?", "You like you come here a lot? Any must trys?" "This is great! How did you hear about things like this?" Then ask a man and memorize why he was so approachable.

https://www.awla.org/volunteer/become-a-volunteer/. When you volunteer, announce that besides the obvi canine love, you are trying get your mind off being single.

https://www.rei.com/events/88071/hike-and-hops-little-devils-stairs-and-pen-druid-brewing?course.session.anyLocation=100.000000%7E38.907192%7E-77.036871%3Bgeo_r. find a hike and mention that you have a lot of free time for this living alone and being {sheepishly} "well..um between boyfriends?"

Good luck! You've got this! At a minimum you will get some exercise and produce tips and have some fun.

This is a solid plan, but hardly less tedious than apps! Basically you have to enter every social scene with a “open for dates” sign, via small talk and flirting and hope you just didn’t hit the dad who doesn’t wear his wedding band.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I like art and history so I would go to a museum

I like crafts and foods so I go to farmer's markets

I like animals will go anywhere with animals.

I like the outdoors I go on hikes and birdwatches

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/champagne-secret-door-tour-tickets-161255492519 Ask the old ladies if they have any cute sons. Do not be conscious, nobody can help if they don't know the problem.
Make self-deprecating jokes in theme with the tour. "Penguins die off if they leave the pack"--"Being single, let's hope I meet someone or humans have a better fate!"

There is a Crystal City and Arcadia Alex Farmer's M. tomorrow. Pay attention to everything from the pull in -is he in a minivan, carrying a toddler, buying family size groceries, dressed to impress, showing up after work (5:45+ for 3-7pm)? Practice with small talk until it doesn't sound instructed. E.G., "Perfect weather for this! Any other things to do nearby?", "You like you come here a lot? Any must trys?" "This is great! How did you hear about things like this?" Then ask a man and memorize why he was so approachable.

https://www.awla.org/volunteer/become-a-volunteer/. When you volunteer, announce that besides the obvi canine love, you are trying get your mind off being single.

https://www.rei.com/events/88071/hike-and-hops-little-devils-stairs-and-pen-druid-brewing?course.session.anyLocation=100.000000%7E38.907192%7E-77.036871%3Bgeo_r. find a hike and mention that you have a lot of free time for this living alone and being {sheepishly} "well..um between boyfriends?"

Good luck! You've got this! At a minimum you will get some exercise and produce tips and have some fun.

Thank you!

Anonymous wrote:

This is not great advice for a relationship past the age of 25.

Why do you assume the OP is over 25 and wants to jump in straight to a relationship after a two YEAR hiatus?

Why is it not great?

What's your better advice?

Perhaps we should have any single/divorced dcum members try both sets of advice and post an update here.

Anonymous wrote:
I like art and history so I would go to a museum

I like crafts and foods so I go to farmer's markets

I like animals will go anywhere with animals.

I like the outdoors I go on hikes and birdwatches

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/champagne-secret-door-tour-tickets-161255492519 Ask the old ladies if they have any cute sons. Do not be conscious, nobody can help if they don't know the problem.
Make self-deprecating jokes in theme with the tour. "Penguins die off if they leave the pack"--"Being single, let's hope I meet someone or humans have a better fate!"

There is a Crystal City and Arcadia Alex Farmer's M. tomorrow. Pay attention to everything from the pull in -is he in a minivan, carrying a toddler, buying family size groceries, dressed to impress, showing up after work (5:45+ for 3-7pm)? Practice with small talk until it doesn't sound instructed. E.G., "Perfect weather for this! Any other things to do nearby?", "You like you come here a lot? Any must trys?" "This is great! How did you hear about things like this?" Then ask a man and memorize why he was so approachable.

https://www.awla.org/volunteer/become-a-volunteer/. When you volunteer, announce that besides the obvi canine love, you are trying get your mind off being single.

https://www.rei.com/events/88071/hike-and-hops-little-devils-stairs-and-pen-druid-brewing?course.session.anyLocation=100.000000%7E38.907192%7E-77.036871%3Bgeo_r. find a hike and mention that you have a lot of free time for this living alone and being {sheepishly} "well..um between boyfriends?"

Good luck! You've got this! At a minimum you will get some exercise and produce tips and have some fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't have kids.
I don't go to bars/parties.

Good! Good! Next elimination:
couples therapy (to hear what frustrates a man) vs concert (to find a guy who appreciates culture)

If you don't go to discussion groups or concerts, list two locations you are willing to attend.

I like art and history so I would go to a museum

I like crafts and foods so I go to farmer's markets

I like animals will go anywhere with animals.

I like the outdoors I go on hikes and birdwatches

This is not great advice for a relationship past the age of 25.

You can't critique without offering an alternative so what's your advice? Also I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm looking for dates, relationships can ( or mot) grow from that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't have kids.
I don't go to bars/parties.

Good! Good! Next elimination:
couples therapy (to hear what frustrates a man) vs concert (to find a guy who appreciates culture)

If you don't go to discussion groups or concerts, list two locations you are willing to attend.

I like art and history so I would go to a museum

I like crafts and foods so I go to farmer's markets

I like animals will go anywhere with animals.

I like the outdoors I go on hikes and birdwatches

This is not great advice for a relationship past the age of 25.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't have kids.
I don't go to bars/parties.

Good! Good! Next elimination:
couples therapy (to hear what frustrates a man) vs concert (to find a guy who appreciates culture)

If you don't go to discussion groups or concerts, list two locations you are willing to attend.

I like art and history so I would go to a museum

I like crafts and foods so I go to farmer's markets

I like animals will go anywhere with animals.

I like the outdoors I go on hikes and birdwatches