Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is a troll. Stop feeding the troll.

OP here. I’m not a troll. You’re threatened by women who have no problem being submissive to their husbands. Sorry, not all women want to be feminists and anti-men.

You literally said you don’t want to be accused of being submissive and then….say you have no problem being submissive? Young girl, get off the internet. Your husband wouldn’t want his little submissive wife being on forums with a bunch of angry feminists. Just shut up, be quiet, do what he says, clean, cook, act how he says, don’t challenge him ever, and smile through it all. There, that fit what you needed to hear? Now don’t be surprised if your high earning husband is banging an actual woman with independent thought on the side in a few years. What makes a good wife is very far from what you’re spewing.

Now I’m serious, get off the internet and delete this thread, a good wife like you would listen.

I feel like there is a lot of space between being subservient to your husband and being a feminist.

That said, letting the husband make the major decisions? That’s not “the old style”, that is batcrap crazy talk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is a troll. Stop feeding the troll.

OP here. I’m not a troll. You’re threatened by women who have no problem being submissive to their husbands. Sorry, not all women want to be feminists and anti-men.

OP, I'm going to be the contrarian here. If you really want to be submissive to your husband, wouldn't you just ask him what he wants you to do?

(Instead of obviously stirring the pot by asking a very loaded question to a bunch of feminists.)

OP, I am a feminist and a very good wife. I am also a good mom. A good DD, DIL, SIL, friend, employee, boss, neighbor, citizen etc etc.

Being a feminist did not mean bra-burning or being anti-men. I immigrated from a very conservative country. I am non-White and not a Christian. I became a feminist because my father was a feminist. . My father supported me because my grandfather was an educated man who had deep respect for women in all their roles and he was a very decent man. My father grew up respecting women and seeing empowered women in his life like his mom, his sisters, sister in laws, wife, MIL, aunts, cousins etc.

My father did not curtail my educational aspirations. He wanted me to be strong and deal with life and be able to provide for my kids if something bad ever happened (death of husband or divorce). Being educated meant that I had economic options. It also meant that I was able to not be pressured into marrying young and it also meant that once I got married I had currency over my reproductive choices. No one controlled my womb and I got pregnant at my will after I was well settled for several years in my married life.

Being a feminist did not translate into my having premarital sex or having boyfriends. Not as a moral judgement but mainly as my own choice. I did not want boyfriend(s) or romantic entanglement before I became established in my career. I did not want any distractions and I did not also find anyone who was worthy of me. Being a feminist meant that I did not have to have sex or have a boyfriend just because everyone else was. I did not have to give in to peer pressure. I was more focused in leaving my hometown to go to the big city to live alone and attend university for my post-grad and research work. I was confident enough to go to a male dominated industry on my own merit.

A very easy thing in my country to humiliate a woman who rejects you is to spread rumors about her. That happened to me too by all the jerks who could not understand why I was not flattered by their sexual or romantic interest. Being a feminist meant that I had high standards and did not have to follow the gender norms. Finally, the man I did fall in love with was also a feminist and he had to prove himself to be worthy of me. Being a feminist made me evaluate him on his moral character and decency and of course I could only marry a fellow feminist, right?

What is a feminist? It is just a humanist. It is a person who treats everyone with respect, equality and consideration regardless of their race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, age, disability, country of origin. And in a marriage if each spouse treats each other with respect, equality, consideration, love, loyalty, then it is a good marriage. If you and your spouse extend the same to your children then you have a good family. It is not rocket science.

All the other stuff - sex, chores, HHI etc, every thing is workable. From the outside, my marriage looks like a conservative marriage. We probably play traditional roles because there is some natural affinity to it. However, I feel supremely empowered and fulfilled in my marriage. My DH feels supremely empowered and fulfilled in our marriage. Marry the person who shares the same values, principles and goals as you and it will be easy to be a good wife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is a troll. Stop feeding the troll.

OP here. I’m not a troll. You’re threatened by women who have no problem being submissive to their husbands. Sorry, not all women want to be feminists and anti-men.

Then why post here? Ask your husband what he wants and do that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism is part of what makes a good wife, IMO. Part of feminism is being on guard for internalized patriarchy. That crops up a lot when wives send signals to men that they don’t want their husbands to look weak, and that they believe that how much money a man earns is related to their value as a partner.

So I say become more of a feminist if you want to be a good wife.

OP here. No thanks.

NP here. Huh, OP? Do you believe a man's worth is tied to his earnings? Do you believe men should keep up appearances of strength? Really?

OP here. Not fully, no. Men do have a place in the world as a provider and protector. All woman, feminist or not, seek men who make a good living. It’s in our DNA too seek out men to help provide for us. I think part of what makes a good spouse is his potential to earn ands provide, whether that be $50k or $500k/year.

+1. OP is very naive but she’s right. Do you think your husband and many other men married you for earning potential? NO! They married you because you’re hot ( to them) and were willing to sleep with them. Men are simple - food and sex is really all they need. Thai thread has proven many times most men care very little about a woman’s education and career, but they care if she’s hot, fit, and willing to give then sex. Men who are making money don’t want a partner who makes money. They want someone to feed them and f*ck them.

Anonymous wrote:OP is a troll. Stop feeding the troll.

OP here. I’m not a troll. You’re threatened by women who have no problem being submissive to their husbands. Sorry, not all women want to be feminists and anti-men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism is part of what makes a good wife, IMO. Part of feminism is being on guard for internalized patriarchy. That crops up a lot when wives send signals to men that they don’t want their husbands to look weak, and that they believe that how much money a man earns is related to their value as a partner.

So I say become more of a feminist if you want to be a good wife.

OP here. No thanks.

NP here. Huh, OP? Do you believe a man's worth is tied to his earnings? Do you believe men should keep up appearances of strength? Really?

OP here. Not fully, no. Men do have a place in the world as a provider and protector. All woman, feminist or not, seek men who make a good living. It’s in our DNA too seek out men to help provide for us. I think part of what makes a good spouse is his potential to earn ands provide, whether that be $50k or $500k/year.

Be a good wife by being supportive, appreciative, and respectful. We are not religious but are independents. We do not agree with the woke crowd and will raise our kids with the old view of things. I’m a good mom and supportive wife. I let my husband make major decisions. He’s the head of the house and that’s his responsibility as a man. He treats me very well. Being his personal sl*t always help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism is part of what makes a good wife, IMO. Part of feminism is being on guard for internalized patriarchy. That crops up a lot when wives send signals to men that they don’t want their husbands to look weak, and that they believe that how much money a man earns is related to their value as a partner.

So I say become more of a feminist if you want to be a good wife.

OP here. No thanks.

NP here. Huh, OP? Do you believe a man's worth is tied to his earnings? Do you believe men should keep up appearances of strength? Really?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of asking about being a good wife, why don’t you focus on being a good spouse. There doesn’t need to be one set of rules or behaviors for one sex versus the other.

OP here. We value gender roles in my house.

So you think that being a good spouse is only about specific responsibilities, and not how you treat each other. Got it.

Come back when you’ve grown up.

That’s not what OP meant. Someone’s threatened that a woman doesn’t want to a feminist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of asking about being a good wife, why don’t you focus on being a good spouse. There doesn’t need to be one set of rules or behaviors for one sex versus the other.

OP here. We value gender roles in my house.

So you think that being a good spouse is only about specific responsibilities, and not how you treat each other. Got it.

Come back when you’ve grown up.

Op, what makes him a good partner? ... that is what makes you a good partner.

listen, talk, support, listen, bj, talk, listen.

Anonymous wrote:Clean, cook, and be sexually available. That’s it. Women think it’s complicated but it’s really not.

My husband would be so unhappy in our marriage if this is all I did.