Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the first step is to find a local senior center that he can go to during the day. They offer companionship and a free or greatly reduced noon meal. I'm in the Pittsburgh area but I think they operate pretty much the same nationwide. They sent a van to pick my Dad up each day. They operated from Monday to Friday and were run through the county. We lived in a more affluent area, so most of the seniors there were more affluent. Though I noticed this really wasn't a concern of anyone. They were just happy to have friends period, to share their war stories with.

A bus? Why?

Listen everyone, let's not dump everyone over 60 into CCRCs, assisted living, and buses that go to senior daycare. Come on, there's a big difference between 55 to 70, 70 to 80, and 80 to 90, and 90 +

There's a lot of nuance in terms of what is appropriate, and at a healthy 72, he doesn't need a structure CCRC or a damn bus chauffeuring him around to prescribed things.

Would Hilary Clinton be on that bus? Chuck Schumer? Bruce Springsteen? Steven Speilberg? Merle Streep? All in their 70s.

This post has the worst ageist responses I've seen, and the information that no one gets what 72 is. This man needs grief support and peers. Please don't send him to places that have nothing to do with his needs because everyone has just decided that he's old. Stop it.

But not all CCRCs are the same either. There's a lot of nuance on that side as well. For some 72-year-olds, continuing to live in their home, while taking part in new activities is the right way to go. Other folks will be better off downsizing, but still living completely independently (this is also true for many people who are younger than 72 and who want to travel). And for still others, even if they are relatively healthy and vigorous, living in a CCRC can offer activities and social opportunities while relieving them of the burdens of home maintenance. For single people, CCRCs can be especially appealing.

Would Hilary Clinton be on that bus? Chuck Schumer? Bruce Springsteen? Steven Speilberg? Merle Streep? All in their 70s.

Hillary, at least, oughta be.

Anonymous wrote:It's true that 73-year-olds can be very independent. But of my eight close relatives between 72 and 80, all previously healthy, I am seeing lots of health issues. Two have moved to independent living already, and two are moving soon.

What if you were 57 and were not healthy- maybe you could have a cancer or a mobility issue from years of sports (getting to be common!). Does that mean you would need to live in an independent living? Hopefully you will have found a way to adapt in lifestyle or physical space like you always have. It's the same with a 72 year old man.
One time someone asked me if I was going to leave my house soon for a place without steps. I'm in my mid 60s. My answer was "Why?"She explained that maybe I might break my legs, or have to recover from an operation.

Well, I did break my leg when I was 47, and have recovered from 3 operations up to now. I guess I'll do what I did, but there's nothing going on with me that is really any different than then. I'm not more frail, less adaptable, not able to cope. Why would I consider moving in with older people now? When I'm ready, I'll be ready, but an 83 year old is not a 72 year old, who is not a 62 year old. Not everyone will have chronic life limiting issues all at once. Not all people need to be corralled. I'm all for CCRCs...they are great systems, BUT, it is for older people. "Independent living" is the same.

Needs are different for everyone, but it really is a shame to assign a special living arrangement to this man who has no need for it now. His age is not the determinate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the first step is to find a local senior center that he can go to during the day. They offer companionship and a free or greatly reduced noon meal. I'm in the Pittsburgh area but I think they operate pretty much the same nationwide. They sent a van to pick my Dad up each day. They operated from Monday to Friday and were run through the county. We lived in a more affluent area, so most of the seniors there were more affluent. Though I noticed this really wasn't a concern of anyone. They were just happy to have friends period, to share their war stories with.

A bus? Why?

Listen everyone, let's not dump everyone over 60 into CCRCs, assisted living, and buses that go to senior daycare. Come on, there's a big difference between 55 to 70, 70 to 80, and 80 to 90, and 90 +

There's a lot of nuance in terms of what is appropriate, and at a healthy 72, he doesn't need a structure CCRC or a damn bus chauffeuring him around to prescribed things.

Would Hilary Clinton be on that bus? Chuck Schumer? Bruce Springsteen? Steven Speilberg? Merle Streep? All in their 70s.

This post has the worst ageist responses I've seen, and the information that no one gets what 72 is. This man needs grief support and peers. Please don't send him to places that have nothing to do with his needs because everyone has just decided that he's old. Stop it.

Well said.

It's true that 73-year-olds can be very independent. But of my eight close relatives between 72 and 80, all previously healthy, I am seeing lots of health issues. Two have moved to independent living already, and two are moving soon.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the first step is to find a local senior center that he can go to during the day. They offer companionship and a free or greatly reduced noon meal. I'm in the Pittsburgh area but I think they operate pretty much the same nationwide. They sent a van to pick my Dad up each day. They operated from Monday to Friday and were run through the county. We lived in a more affluent area, so most of the seniors there were more affluent. Though I noticed this really wasn't a concern of anyone. They were just happy to have friends period, to share their war stories with.

A bus? Why?

Listen everyone, let's not dump everyone over 60 into CCRCs, assisted living, and buses that go to senior daycare. Come on, there's a big difference between 55 to 70, 70 to 80, and 80 to 90, and 90 +

There's a lot of nuance in terms of what is appropriate, and at a healthy 72, he doesn't need a structure CCRC or a damn bus chauffeuring him around to prescribed things.

Would Hilary Clinton be on that bus? Chuck Schumer? Bruce Springsteen? Steven Speilberg? Merle Streep? All in their 70s.

This post has the worst ageist responses I've seen, and the information that no one gets what 72 is. This man needs grief support and peers. Please don't send him to places that have nothing to do with his needs because everyone has just decided that he's old. Stop it.

Amen! People on here think anyone over 50 is ancient. My Dad entered a CCRC in his early 80’s as an independent resident, and had many friends who were older than him and still active and vibrant people. We really need to change how we view aging in this country. Our seniors still have much to contribute to society and should be valued.

Anonymous wrote:I think the first step is to find a local senior center that he can go to during the day. They offer companionship and a free or greatly reduced noon meal. I'm in the Pittsburgh area but I think they operate pretty much the same nationwide. They sent a van to pick my Dad up each day. They operated from Monday to Friday and were run through the county. We lived in a more affluent area, so most of the seniors there were more affluent. Though I noticed this really wasn't a concern of anyone. They were just happy to have friends period, to share their war stories with.

A bus? Why?

Listen everyone, let's not dump everyone over 60 into CCRCs, assisted living, and buses that go to senior daycare. Come on, there's a big difference between 55 to 70, 70 to 80, and 80 to 90, and 90 +

There's a lot of nuance in terms of what is appropriate, and at a healthy 72, he doesn't need a structure CCRC or a damn bus chauffeuring him around to prescribed things.

Would Hilary Clinton be on that bus? Chuck Schumer? Bruce Springsteen? Steven Speilberg? Merle Streep? All in their 70s.

This post has the worst ageist responses I've seen, and the information that no one gets what 72 is. This man needs grief support and peers. Please don't send him to places that have nothing to do with his needs because everyone has just decided that he's old. Stop it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:72 is too young for a CCRC. Try just a 55+ community. He can buy housecleaning like anyone does.

I disagree and I am 60. If one waits too long into a CCRC, one will not want to make the move.

This. 70s is the right age, some people move.into the houses when they are in their 60s. My parents waited too late--you get preference for the assisted living and nursing facilities is you move there while in decent health. Once you start declining, it's hard to buy into most CCRC.

If one spouse is having trouble, these places can be great for both. But my parents are early 70’s and it’s way to early for them to move to one of these. But they’re not having the problems OP’s dad is and they have each other.

Anonymous wrote:Check out Kendal retirement communities in college towns. It's like the SLAC experience for aging.

So you pay $70,000 a year to get indoctrinated to hate your parents while learning no useful skills?

Anonymous wrote:Check out Kendal retirement communities in college towns. It's like the SLAC experience for aging.

+1

Another vote for Ingleside at Rock Creek. My mom has been there for 8 years and she has been very happy there. She has made lots of friends and there are always interesting activities going on.

Check out Kendal retirement communities in college towns. It's like the SLAC experience for aging.

I think the first step is to find a local senior center that he can go to during the day. They offer companionship and a free or greatly reduced noon meal. I'm in the Pittsburgh area but I think they operate pretty much the same nationwide. They sent a van to pick my Dad up each day. They operated from Monday to Friday and were run through the county. We lived in a more affluent area, so most of the seniors there were more affluent. Though I noticed this really wasn't a concern of anyone. They were just happy to have friends period, to share their war stories with.

OP, is your dad used to city or inner-suburb living with access to the city? Or used to a deep-surburban lifestyle? If the former, I'd hesitate to cosign him to a 55+ community in the outer burbs. If he can be quite independent but would like a lower-maintenance way to live with lots of peers around him, there are lots of apartment buildings that are "NORCs" — Naturally Occurring Retirement Communities — especially along the Connecticut Ave. corridor in the District and around Friendship Heights/Chevy Chase on Wisconsin. But it sounds from your initial description like he wants more help than that, so I would not rule out a CCRC. But think about the best way to keep him close to friends and the activities he's already participating in.

Over 55s which are everywhere, or whole communities like Leisure World would suit him. Most people are in their 70s in over 55s .A CCRC would probably be a little depressing. Yes, it's a crap shoot as to getting in a CCRC before something happens, but that doesn't mean he has to surrender this early. He's young, and he lost his wife, which is very sad. He needs peers.