We have four 8 and under. We host a lot and I’m fine with that as we have a big home and it’s easier on me. We do visit my parents a lot and they really go with the flow.

We have five children and we were invited to many events pre COVID. I often cannot attend events because we are so busy with the children’s activities/sports events.

My sister has four young kids and 2 hairy dogs and I honestly prefer not to have her at my house. It’s just too much. We visit her and don’t stay more than a night or two. The last kid and dog just put things over the edge.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. It got a lot better as they got older though. We moved when my kids were 1, 3, 5 & 7. Before the move we had a lot of friends with a lot of little kids, and it wasn’t unusual to have a get together with 20 little kids. After the move, no one invited us anywhere as a family for close to five years.

We also hit pause with tweens. Maybe it is just the pandemic. I feel elementary is the sweet spot.

Anonymous wrote:Having kids ages 1, 3, and 5 at a lake house isn't super fun for anyone, to be honest. Naps and toys and water safety -- just not in any way relaxing. When your kids are 6, 8, and 10 -- then you can go to the lake house.

Agree with this

Having kids ages 1, 3, and 5 at a lake house isn't super fun for anyone, to be honest. Naps and toys and water safety -- just not in any way relaxing. When your kids are 6, 8, and 10 -- then you can go to the lake house.

Yes. It got a lot better as they got older though. We moved when my kids were 1, 3, 5 & 7. Before the move we had a lot of friends with a lot of little kids, and it wasn’t unusual to have a get together with 20 little kids. After the move, no one invited us anywhere as a family for close to five years.

I feel like they posted it publically, so you could be free to say something breezy and light like - I saw on Facebook that you all were at the lake! How fun. Was the weather nice? - and open the door up that way for them to perhaps give an explanation about why you weren't included. If it were good friends of mine, that would hurt my feelings, despite how many kids I have (I have 3).

We have a beach house and only invite people whose kids play well with our kids and don't bring too much chaos. It's nothing personal. There's a nice family with 3 kids that we have thought of inviting over b/c one of their older kids plays very well with ours, but we'll wait a few more years until their youngest is a bit older.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course we get invited places! Why wouldn't we? My kids are polite, offer to help, clean up after themselves, and inclusive. We get invited places as a family all the time.

Maybe they just don't like you.

OP - thanks that was helpful. And yes my kids are polite but they are young (1, 3 and 5) so need a lot of help.

I do get invited places with my 3 kids but I don’t expect other people to help me with my kids.

OP here - I don't expect others to help me with my kids. I just meant that they don't "offer to help and clean up after themselves" very well because they are so little.

Anonymous wrote:Ha - we have an only and sometimes I think we get left out because our only entertains one of our friends 2 or 3 kids. I think people prioritize the families that mess the best with their own family. Could be ages, gender or personality of the kids that drive that.

We find the opposite to be true.. kid is in elementary and gets along well and we get invited often, its just adding 3 more people from hosts viewpoint.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course we get invited places! Why wouldn't we? My kids are polite, offer to help, clean up after themselves, and inclusive. We get invited places as a family all the time.

Maybe they just don't like you.

OP - thanks that was helpful. And yes my kids are polite but they are young (1, 3 and 5) so need a lot of help.

I do get invited places with my 3 kids but I don’t expect other people to help me with my kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course we get invited places! Why wouldn't we? My kids are polite, offer to help, clean up after themselves, and inclusive. We get invited places as a family all the time.

Maybe they just don't like you.

OP - thanks that was helpful. And yes my kids are polite but they are young (1, 3 and 5) so need a lot of help.

I have a lake house and I don’t invite one year olds (that aren’t mine). It is PRIME drowning age and I don’t want the stress. Not everyone watches their kids as well as I need them to near a lake.

Ha - we have an only and sometimes I think we get left out because our only entertains one of our friends 2 or 3 kids. I think people prioritize the families that mess the best with their own family. Could be ages, gender or personality of the kids that drive that.

We have 3 kids and we get invited. I do a lot of the inviting and planning in our friend circles.

Why would you automatically think it is because you have 3 kids? Why not that they are closer friends or maybe the other family invited them?

How strange to think it is because you have 3 kids.