Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the replies. OP here. This new dynamic is so hard.

My guess is you're not close to your dad.

DP. I’m really, really close to my mom…but I’ve never called her within a strict timeframe every single day. She didn’t require anything of me nightly, at my kids’ bedtime, when they were little. There’s no reason to speculate about the closeness OP’s relationship with her dad. Their relationship has changed because he’s more dependent on her now than he’s ever been before.

Can you make him part of your bedtime routine? For example, get the kiddos tucked into bed, and then facetime grandpa so he can read the bedtime story?

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the replies. OP here. This new dynamic is so hard.

My guess is you're not close to your dad.

Maybe say you will call home every evening but you can’t guarantee it will be exactly at eight due to the kids

I call my widowed dad nightly sometime between 730-9pm. I love it. Yes it feels like an obligation some nights, but mostly I love it and I love going to bed knowing he is okay.

i am proud your father had the ability to voice this need to you. it is not easy for them

Just to give you context, my brother died in 1984 when I was single and my parents insisted that I call them every morning. I’ve been calling them ever since. (Actually my father is deceased now.) It’s not that big of a deal. I don’t talk for long. I just check in so that they know I’m alive. I am an only child since my brother passed and it gives my mother peace of mind. I would find calling at 8 pm tougher.

Anonymous wrote:Do you and he have apple watches? The walkie talkie feature works from anywhere. He can just say hi any time and you can tap it and say" hey dad, we're reading a story. want to listen?"

It also has a fall alert.

Oh! Good idea - we do not. He is often worried about falling.

Do you and he have apple watches? The walkie talkie feature works from anywhere. He can just say hi any time and you can tap it and say" hey dad, we're reading a story. want to listen?"

It also has a fall alert.

Thanks for the replies. OP here. This new dynamic is so hard.

I would totally make time to do this. It's your dad. Your family will understand and they will model the love and care you give to your dad.

-Signed someone who lost their dad and WISH I had one to call...nightly.

That's very sweet. Put yourself in his position and think about how much that call would mean to you. I'm sure there were plenty of times when you were little that your dad put himself out for you. Now, you have a wonderful way to teach your children about love and respect through the generations by incorporating them into saying goodnight to their grandfather. This isn't a problem, it's a blessing.

It may have taken a lot for him to specifically ask. I'd call. I like all of the above responses. Hugs, PP!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's still early In his grieving process. Do it. You would want the same from him, if things were reversed. He will change with time. Give him a year or so. Friends and relatives drop fast after a funeral.

x100000

+1. For a few weeks after a funeral, you’re the center of attention for friends and family, and then you aren’t. You’re just alone when you haven’t been alone for decades

Yes, and it’s astonishing that your world is forever irreparably altered, yet all around you, other people continue to live their lives as they did before. You loved your mom every bit as much as he did, but her passing has changed his life so much more than yours.

Anonymous wrote:One of the things people who are recently widowed or otherwise left alone worry about is something happening to them and no one even knowing it happened because no one is there, no one is checking in.

If it were me I’d humor him until he feels more comfortable.

Wow.
My parents invited my elderly neighbor for 20+ys every night to have dinner with us.
PP, made me think of that.

I think his wife made him dinner after he came home from work too.

OMG this breaks my heart for your dad. What it must have taken for him to realize it's when he feels most vulnerable and that talking to you would help him. Call him OP. He's your dad. You want him there for you if things were bad for you.