I think it is odd. I am a social person and don’t have an entourage, alternating or not. Perhaps for like July 4th if I’m hanging with a friend and you invited me to your BBQ I would ask if I could bring a guest. But general, hey cuz let’s have coffee on Tuesday and can Sarah or Sally or Jim and Nancy come along…regularly..no.

I wonder if you have a really cool house or grounds or something that the friends are coming along to hang at? Or are you in the big city and cousin/friend ( can’t remember if this was your cousin) comes from the farm to hang in the city with friend/s?

I don't think it's odd at all, especially if the person is single and likes company. This is something my friends and I all did up until about the time we partnered-off. It's a great way to meet friends/family of your friends and expand your own group - in addition to having company on a long ride.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, stop being surprised by this known factor!

“Aunt Tilde, we’d love to see you next Saturday for dinner…oh, great! Glad you can make it. Will you bringing a friend?”

Problem solved.

No, it's never a surprise. They always do take the step to ask if it's ok if they bring their friends first!

Then what on Earth is the issue? If you don’t want extra guests, open your mouth and say no.

It's not an issue. Just wondering if people would consider it odd, but obviously your answer is no, it's normal. We live in different states and are a couple hours apart so it's not like a local visit either.

You’re asking us if it’s normal to bring along friends? Why?

They’re asking YOU. And you are saying yes. So clearly, it’s normal and acceptable to YOU, dingbat. Because if it wasn’t, you’d say no.

Did you really just call me a dingbat? LOL who are you and what's your issue? I have trouble imagining there are people who behave like you in real life.

This is VERY weird IMO. I can’t imagine a friend asking me to drive to hours with her to have dinner with her cousin and come back home. Utterly bizarre. Edit sounds like it would be difficult for you to say no if she’s asking to bring the extra people at the last minute. Under those circumstances, it seems like she probably already issued the invitation to her friends.

Would it be possible to say to her, “Sally, I love to catch up with you when you come to visit! Would it be possible for our visits to be just us? It’s hard to catch up with you when someone else is along for the ride.”

Your upbringing was unusually isolated but a rotating cast of extras got family visits is WEIRD

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s rude to invite other people to someone else’s house. My mother in law used to do this until
I told her not to do it. It’s an imposition and inconsiderate. If she wants to catch up with local friends, meet them elsewhere or ask me well in advance.

This relative IS asking in advance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, stop being surprised by this known factor!

“Aunt Tilde, we’d love to see you next Saturday for dinner…oh, great! Glad you can make it. Will you bringing a friend?”

Problem solved.

No, it's never a surprise. They always do take the step to ask if it's ok if they bring their friends first!

Then what on Earth is the issue? If you don’t want extra guests, open your mouth and say no.

It's not an issue. Just wondering if people would consider it odd, but obviously your answer is no, it's normal. We live in different states and are a couple hours apart so it's not like a local visit either.

You’re asking us if it’s normal to bring along friends? Why?

They’re asking YOU. And you are saying yes. So clearly, it’s normal and acceptable to YOU, dingbat. Because if it wasn’t, you’d say no.

This sounds a bit rude and presumptuous but I can think of a couple who don’t have great manners and would do something like this.

I think it’s rude to invite other people to someone else’s house. My mother in law used to do this until
I told her not to do it. It’s an imposition and inconsiderate. If she wants to catch up with local friends, meet them elsewhere or ask me well in advance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, stop being surprised by this known factor!

“Aunt Tilde, we’d love to see you next Saturday for dinner…oh, great! Glad you can make it. Will you bringing a friend?”

Problem solved.

No, it's never a surprise. They always do take the step to ask if it's ok if they bring their friends first!

Then what on Earth is the issue? If you don’t want extra guests, open your mouth and say no.

It's not an issue. Just wondering if people would consider it odd, but obviously your answer is no, it's normal. We live in different states and are a couple hours apart so it's not like a local visit either.

OP, I do think it is odd but not completely crazy. I wouldn’t enjoy this as I honestly don’t love having visitors in general. I do think this is more common in certain cultures/social groups.

Yes, obviously - all of my relative's friends who come along for the visit see it as a pretty normal thing also, so yeah maybe it is just a thing within their social group.

Anonymous wrote:Odd.

Odd to do to you. Odd for the friend.

I’d be curious what they are saying to the friend. Want to go? Pls go? I don’t even get how it comes up unless he’s visiting from far away and trying to see tons of old friends all in the same week and has to double up.

OP here and I was wondering this exact same thing! I can't imagine saying to a couple of my friends, hey I'm visiting my relative who lives in another state, want to come with me? But again, we are very different and I am more introverted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, stop being surprised by this known factor!

“Aunt Tilde, we’d love to see you next Saturday for dinner…oh, great! Glad you can make it. Will you bringing a friend?”

Problem solved.

No, it's never a surprise. They always do take the step to ask if it's ok if they bring their friends first!

Then what on Earth is the issue? If you don’t want extra guests, open your mouth and say no.

It's not an issue. Just wondering if people would consider it odd, but obviously your answer is no, it's normal. We live in different states and are a couple hours apart so it's not like a local visit either.

Are they gay and actually a significant other? Or swingers?

LOL! No. They bring different friends each time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dropping by for a visit in the afternoon type visit I could roll with. If meals or staying the night is involved then noooooo.

Usually these visits are very last minute, so not always a meal but sometimes yes, a meal. And no, no overnights.

You said you live hours away. Are they driving through town or something from another trip or obligation? Or are you the min destination and they just have to take someone each time…?

We are the main destination - they drive back home after. Once in a while they might also stop at a place to eat with their friends. It would be inaccurate to say they "have to" take someone each time - it is about half the time, they bring friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, stop being surprised by this known factor!

“Aunt Tilde, we’d love to see you next Saturday for dinner…oh, great! Glad you can make it. Will you bringing a friend?”

Problem solved.

No, it's never a surprise. They always do take the step to ask if it's ok if they bring their friends first!

Then what on Earth is the issue? If you don’t want extra guests, open your mouth and say no.

It's not an issue. Just wondering if people would consider it odd, but obviously your answer is no, it's normal. We live in different states and are a couple hours apart so it's not like a local visit either.

OP, I do think it is odd but not completely crazy. I wouldn’t enjoy this as I honestly don’t love having visitors in general. I do think this is more common in certain cultures/social groups.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dropping by for a visit in the afternoon type visit I could roll with. If meals or staying the night is involved then noooooo.

Usually these visits are very last minute, so not always a meal but sometimes yes, a meal. And no, no overnights.

You said you live hours away. Are they driving through town or something from another trip or obligation? Or are you the min destination and they just have to take someone each time…?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, stop being surprised by this known factor!

“Aunt Tilde, we’d love to see you next Saturday for dinner…oh, great! Glad you can make it. Will you bringing a friend?”

Problem solved.

No, it's never a surprise. They always do take the step to ask if it's ok if they bring their friends first!

Then what on Earth is the issue? If you don’t want extra guests, open your mouth and say no.

It's not an issue. Just wondering if people would consider it odd, but obviously your answer is no, it's normal. We live in different states and are a couple hours apart so it's not like a local visit either.

Are they gay and actually a significant other? Or swingers?