Anonymous wrote:I think you are being crazy if they just have a minor cold. I would be grumpy about the flu or a stomach bug.

Your kids are much more likely to get sick from other kids and their activities. I don’t understand how you are blaming your parents unless they are coughing in your kids.

I am a person who seems to be able to catch a month long virus, plus bonus sinus infection, from the one relative who says "it's just a cold."

Stop spreading your germs around, for some of us, it's not worth seeing you. At this point, I have no desire at all to see my SIL again, as she is a person who thinks it's just fine to hang out in my house with "just a cold" or go to dinner with us with "just a cold."

I would let them know about new house rules OP. This is a great time to start them, and I plan on doing so as well.

Is this a local relative or not? I think it is fine to ask local relatives not to visit when they are sick, but if an out of town relative plans a trip to see you and buys plane tickets you can't just expect them to cancel their whole trip/vacation because of a cold. That is just crazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a true full cold I am with you but some minor congestion no... Do your kids go to school? No one stays home for a minor cold. They are exposed all the time. Most things are contagious before symptoms anyways.


I was hestitate to have you host Christmas or another big event with those rules.

You know that a minor cold in an adult could have totally different symptoms in a kid, right? For us this would result in staying at home from preschool. We both work. One of us would have to take PTO. So why risk it when you can wait a week and have grandma and grandpa come over next weekend instead?

Agree with the poster before you. The point is that your child is at risk of a cold every single day at preschool and there isn’t much you can do about it. Working parents are hesitant to keep a child home for the sniffles when it costs a day of pay, and little children swap colds back and forth constantly.

I think the answer is going to really depend. If grandma can easily drive over next weekend, that’s an easy suggestion. If she is flying cross country for the first time in six months, then canceling over a cold would be over the top. And yes like PP said, if you are offering to host a major event like Christmas, this type of rule isn’t fair.

We have that rule for ourselves, but my relatives hate it. They think nothing of going anywhere sick, even now, so I have to be sure to ask about their health before they visit and remind them. They think I'm nuts, but their colds take me a month to get over.

Anonymous wrote:For a true full cold I am with you but some minor congestion no... Do your kids go to school? No one stays home for a minor cold. They are exposed all the time. Most things are contagious before symptoms anyways.


I was hestitate to have you host Christmas or another big event with those rules.

You know that a minor cold in an adult could have totally different symptoms in a kid, right? For us this would result in staying at home from preschool. We both work. One of us would have to take PTO. So why risk it when you can wait a week and have grandma and grandpa come over next weekend instead?

I think you are being crazy if they just have a minor cold. I would be grumpy about the flu or a stomach bug.

Your kids are much more likely to get sick from other kids and their activities. I don’t understand how you are blaming your parents unless they are coughing in your kids.

For a true full cold I am with you but some minor congestion no... Do your kids go to school? No one stays home for a minor cold. They are exposed all the time. Most things are contagious before symptoms anyways.


I was hestitate to have you host Christmas or another big event with those rules.

We are a new world now that we’ve had protocols. Warn her in advance that you have new house rules. Since masks are accessible, make her wear one if she shows up sick and tell her the kids will keep a 6’ distance. But also make sure you do that if you, spouse, or any of your kids come home sick too. Not fair if you just have different expectations for her.

We do not have a rule like that but we are just one of those families that almost never gets very sick. I would never visit an elderly or newborn with an type of anything.

Other than that please make your rules very clear so I know. I would honor your wishes but I might avoid making major holidays plans with you for fear that a 5 year old sniffles means we have to stay home.

We don't have that rule for ourselves (though in these covid times I find most friends/family are very careful and woudln't come if they were sick) but we apply it strictly for visiting our parents. My mom's health is very fragile. A bad cold can and has put her in the hospital for a week. We canceled a much anticipated visit a couple months ago because I got a bad cold from the kids. Didn't want to risk her getting it.

Anonymous wrote:YEs - DH's whole family like this. Drives me bananas. I don't have a solution for you, but just commiseration. It is so freaking selfish.

Same- and I’m not talking simple cold- they have had HFM, Strep throat, pink eye, flu and still purposely do not tell us so we won’t cancel. The last few times we just turned around and left or wouldn’t let them in- it has caused major issues with DH and his family but after taking DD to the ER for non stop vomiting and dehydration and then the day after Christmas at urgent care for strep throat- he puts his foot down. We can’t afford to miss work for non stop sicknesses.

My kid missed camp and we are both suffering now thanks to a visiting relative. We also had to take time/$ out for covid testing.