Anonymous wrote:My birthday is close to Mother's Day. When my kids were in middle school I used to say to them and my husband:

"For Mother's Day and my birthday this year -- I would like Dad to order a dumpster for the weekend. And I would like us all to work together for a couple of hours cleaning out (basement, garage, bedrooms etc)."

Every year they laughed and then insisted on buying nice things (so that they didn't have to work).

I would have really liked it -- but it is now a family joke -- "Remember how Mom always wanted a dumpster for her birthday....??"

Learn to make yourself happy within your family.

I like you.

Honestly, I'd just order the dumpster myself at this point and round up the family to do the work.

My birthday is close to Mother's Day. When my kids were in middle school I used to say to them and my husband:

"For Mother's Day and my birthday this year -- I would like Dad to order a dumpster for the weekend. And I would like us all to work together for a couple of hours cleaning out (basement, garage, bedrooms etc)."

Every year they laughed and then insisted on buying nice things (so that they didn't have to work).

I would have really liked it -- but it is now a family joke -- "Remember how Mom always wanted a dumpster for her birthday....??"

Learn to make yourself happy within your family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happy 50th birthday! I am sorry no one celebrated you.

Mine is coming up next year and I know no one will do give me a gift. My kids will make a card, we will go out to eat and I will get a cake. That’s not nothing but I would like a wrapped gift! I am thinking of planning a weekend trip for myself.

If you want a WRAPPED GIFT, tell them.

Sorry, but I don't have patience for those who "suffer" unnecessarily in silence.

An adult spouse should not need to be told that a birthday, particularly a milestone birthday, is a gift giving occasion and plan accordingly. Phone calendars and reminders exist. It is the same date every year. No longer any need to brave the mall -- all it takes is the click of a button. Stop making excuses for jackasses.

+1 If you have to tell someone, especially your spouse, to do something for you then that defeats the purpose, since it's the thought that counts the most...it just shows that they don't care and can't be bothered.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happy 50th birthday! I am sorry no one celebrated you.

Mine is coming up next year and I know no one will do give me a gift. My kids will make a card, we will go out to eat and I will get a cake. That’s not nothing but I would like a wrapped gift! I am thinking of planning a weekend trip for myself.

If you want a WRAPPED GIFT, tell them.

Sorry, but I don't have patience for those who "suffer" unnecessarily in silence.

An adult spouse should not need to be told that a birthday, particularly a milestone birthday, is a gift giving occasion and plan accordingly. Phone calendars and reminders exist. It is the same date every year. No longer any need to brave the mall -- all it takes is the click of a button. Stop making excuses for jackasses.

I'm sorry OP, you deserved to be celebrated.

Happy 50th OP!! We are not huge birthday celebrators, but I still remember my 40th when DH was supposed to take me to lunch (and I bought a new outfit and shoes, which I *never* do) -- and then he called to cancel saying he was too busy at work. Every time I caught sight of those unworn shoes (which were cheap, but new and bought for that occasion) I felt sad.

This year I turned 50 and things were much better. Since my 40th I've tried to be better about prompting DH and kids about what they could do for me. "Can you pick a place to go out to dinner?" "I would love a new XYZ" etc.

It can get better for you, you just have to help things along.

Anonymous wrote:I text my kids 3 weeks before my birthday.

I also tell them what is an acceptable gift. When they disappoint me I explain why and what would have been acceptable.I’m still teaching them.

It’s been about 4 -7 years since they were old enough (16) to do it themselves.

They get better every yesr. It’s a process.

Yes. The feeling of disappointment is real and understandable but I don’t take it personally.

Happy 50th OP! I think this is on the right track, if a bit blunt. Your family shouldn't ignore your birthday while you celebrate them. What kind of example is that setting for their future spouses and family? My kids are little and they are spoiled with their birthdays from extended family because they are little, and I've been trying to teach them they need to reciprocate even if it's just a card and a homemade gift.

Happy 50th!

You're not alone. I turned 40 a couple months after having our first child. DH did not buy me anything for the birth or the birthday. He's terrible at giving gifts and celebrating milestones and I've come to accept that.

This year for my birthday I booked a nice resort for our family using a gift card that DH received years ago from a company raffle. I will splurge on dinner.

Anonymous wrote:Happy 50th birthday! I am sorry no one celebrated you.

Mine is coming up next year and I know no one will do give me a gift. My kids will make a card, we will go out to eat and I will get a cake. That’s not nothing but I would like a wrapped gift! I am thinking of planning a weekend trip for myself.

If you want a WRAPPED GIFT, tell them.

Sorry, but I don't have patience for those who "suffer" unnecessarily in silence.

Happy 50th birthday! I am sorry no one celebrated you.

Mine is coming up next year and I know no one will do give me a gift. My kids will make a card, we will go out to eat and I will get a cake. That’s not nothing but I would like a wrapped gift! I am thinking of planning a weekend trip for myself.

I'm sorry OP. Belated happy birthday!

I am in a similar boat w/ my family and I've basically given up. For my 50th I planned a weekend away w/ friends and it was wonderful, and my husband was VERY happy to just say yes to anything I wanted and to be off the hook.

It isn't a solution that thrills me, but it is me finding a way to celebrate that acknowledges what will never happen otherwise.

Sorry to hear this OP. It was the same for my 50th this year. It didn’t register with DH that it was a milestone birthday. I’m not a birthday person at all. I always set the bar pretty low. This year, though, DH managed to limbo below that bar.

Besides telling him what to buy you, have you ever sat down (not angry, but calm) and told him this type of thing bothers you? Yes, it would be ideal for him to figure that out. But you said that the whole family seems to purr because you keep everything running. You may seem to expect (or need?)little.

I can totally relate to your feelings, and now is a GREAT time to voice them to him. Before your talk, choose the next date that matters to you (Valentine's Day, anniversary??) and give him multiple examples of gestures that would touch your heart (not an Amazon URL). Tell him that you are hopeful that after this talk, he will make an effort to meet your needs, because to you are sad and tired that no one in the family has done that for too long.

Good luck!

Happy Birthday OP. I'm really sorry that it wasn't acknowledged. Fifty is a milestone. I turned fifty last year.

Happy birthday. I hope you can find a way to celebrate yourself.