Anonymous wrote:How about if the kids were 16? Maybe I'm weird but I wouldn't let my 16 yr old go over someone's house whose parents I have never met.

Your weird. No other parents do this. You're overr protective and your kid is mortified.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid is 12, not 4.

And a 12 year old can’t always distinguish truly troubling behavior from an adult or older relative and just innocent parental weirdness. It’s why so many tweens get molested. Or drunk or high at a friend’s house. It takes ten minutes to talk to the other kid’s parents.

Total paranoia

Oh, I’m so glad! So young girls are never raped or molested by neighbors or neighbors sons and uncles! And no kid is ever shot at a friend’s house!! Wow, thanks. I’m so relieved. All neighbors are good people, not bigots or hateful drunks, and our 12 yr old daughters are safe!!

What a wacko you are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid is 12, not 4.

And a 12 year old can’t always distinguish truly troubling behavior from an adult or older relative and just innocent parental weirdness. It’s why so many tweens get molested. Or drunk or high at a friend’s house. It takes ten minutes to talk to the other kid’s parents.

Total paranoia

Oh, I’m so glad! So young girls are never raped or molested by neighbors or neighbors sons and uncles! And no kid is ever shot at a friend’s house!! Wow, thanks. I’m so relieved. All neighbors are good people, not bigots or hateful drunks, and our 12 yr old daughters are safe!!

Uh yeah. You have a lot of anxiety. Bad things happen to kids. But you aren’t going to find out by a ten min conversation with the parents. Not all bad people give off creep vibes. Most won’t and will appear completely normal. If you are that worried, never let your kid go to any house.

YOu find out more meeting the parent than not meeting the parent. Duh.

How about if the kids were 16? Maybe I'm weird but I wouldn't let my 16 yr old go over someone's house whose parents I have never met.

I don't, unless we meet when dropping the kids off, at a sporting event, or other public area where it's normal to run into people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid is 12, not 4.

And a 12 year old can’t always distinguish truly troubling behavior from an adult or older relative and just innocent parental weirdness. It’s why so many tweens get molested. Or drunk or high at a friend’s house. It takes ten minutes to talk to the other kid’s parents.

Total paranoia

Oh, I’m so glad! So young girls are never raped or molested by neighbors or neighbors sons and uncles! And no kid is ever shot at a friend’s house!! Wow, thanks. I’m so relieved. All neighbors are good people, not bigots or hateful drunks, and our 12 yr old daughters are safe!!

Uh yeah. You have a lot of anxiety. Bad things happen to kids. But you aren’t going to find out by a ten min conversation with the parents. Not all bad people give off creep vibes. Most won’t and will appear completely normal. If you are that worried, never let your kid go to any house.

Ask for a cell number. Initiate a call. Just a quick hello or text, is a connection. It's a start. And it's all that might seem appropriate. But even though it's a little thing, it's a nice thing. And important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't. She's 12.

You’d let your 12 yr old go into a stranger’s house?

They're neighbors. Yes.

They’re neighbors OP has never met so they are, by definition, strangers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't. She's 12.

You’d let your 12 yr old go into a stranger’s house?

Yes

NP here and I NEVER would! Never. Guns, weird uncles living in the basement, drunk parents, bigoted parents, etc. One meeting answers a lot of questions.

It answers none of those questions.
Oh maybe you live in a trashy neighborhood where people keep guns on display or something?

Ha ha! You get an immediate sense of people. You know and certainly have a better sense than not meeting them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid is 12, not 4.

And a 12 year old can’t always distinguish truly troubling behavior from an adult or older relative and just innocent parental weirdness. It’s why so many tweens get molested. Or drunk or high at a friend’s house. It takes ten minutes to talk to the other kid’s parents.

Total paranoia

Oh, I’m so glad! So young girls are never raped or molested by neighbors or neighbors sons and uncles! And no kid is ever shot at a friend’s house!! Wow, thanks. I’m so relieved. All neighbors are good people, not bigots or hateful drunks, and our 12 yr old daughters are safe!!

My 12yo DD added a new friend to her usual group this year- they met at school. I have never met the girl or her parents (not a lot of out of school socializing was happening due to covid of course). My DD is going to this new girls house for a birthday sleepover this weekend, actually. I am fine with it. Four other girls (the rest of the girls in her group) will be there. I’ll walk DD to the door, meet the parents and chat for a few minutes when I drop her off. DD has a phone and good judgment.

In your case, I’d walk her over and introduce myself, and make sure DD has her phone. Anything more would be a little overbearing IMHO. If something seems amiss to you when you meet the family (unlikely) then I’d check in with DD a few times by phone or text (and make sure she knows she must pick up for you/ this is a rule for us).

My kids have been going to play at kids houses (school friends) all through elementary. Most of the time I don’t know the parents beyond meeting them briefly at a school function or something.

It’s fine IMO.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't. She's 12.

You’d let your 12 yr old go into a stranger’s house?

Yes

NP here and I NEVER would! Never. Guns, weird uncles living in the basement, drunk parents, bigoted parents, etc. One meeting answers a lot of questions.

It answers none of those questions.
Oh maybe you live in a trashy neighborhood where people keep guns on display or something?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid is 12, not 4.

And a 12 year old can’t always distinguish truly troubling behavior from an adult or older relative and just innocent parental weirdness. It’s why so many tweens get molested. Or drunk or high at a friend’s house. It takes ten minutes to talk to the other kid’s parents.

Total paranoia

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't. She's 12.

You’d let your 12 yr old go into a stranger’s house?

They're neighbors. Yes.

Anonymous wrote:I'd walk her to their house and introduce myself. I'd also exchange numbers.

+1. It’s also polite.