Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Demanding is coercive. Hinting is deeply unsexy. Not initiating at all often means no sex at all. Basically nothing works if your wife stops wanting to have sex.

I think this is true. I also think a woman not wanting sex is a sign of a deeper marital problem. She might feel, in the moment, that she's exhausted from the day's work. I know I do. I get up at 5am and it's nonstop serving everyone else but myself until 10 or so at night. I do not want to have sex then, since it is basically another service to someone else. My needs are never met. If I had a better marriage and a husband who cared about my needs in bed, I don't think daily exhaustion would get in the way -- at least not as much.

Maybe, but I have a great marriage to an attractive husband and....I have no desire for sex. It's 20 years of the same old, not sexy. I am not alone.

Would your husband agree that you have a great marriage?

Sure, I have sex once a week and put on a good show. So he's doing better than most married men. I am simply correcting the misconception that he's at fault for my lack of drive.

That may be true in your case but it's not that way for everyone. I've said it on here many times- several of my friends don't want sex with their husbands because their husbands are demanding, critical, selfish jerks. The women are exhausted trying to take care of the children and the man baby. Then the husbands just poke their erections in their backs at 11pm after treating their wives like their maids all day.

I doubt these selfish guys were ever that concerned for their wives pleasure to begin with.

I still love having sex with my husband after 15 years. He is kind to me, he cares about me, he listens to me and he pitches in around the house and with with kids without direction. He always makes sure I am satisfied before he finishes.

I don't talk about this IRL b.c it would make my friends feel worse and they are just trying to cope.

The whiney men on this board are probably more like my friends' husbands than mine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Demanding is coercive. Hinting is deeply unsexy. Not initiating at all often means no sex at all. Basically nothing works if your wife stops wanting to have sex.

I think this is true. I also think a woman not wanting sex is a sign of a deeper marital problem. She might feel, in the moment, that she's exhausted from the day's work. I know I do. I get up at 5am and it's nonstop serving everyone else but myself until 10 or so at night. I do not want to have sex then, since it is basically another service to someone else. My needs are never met. If I had a better marriage and a husband who cared about my needs in bed, I don't think daily exhaustion would get in the way -- at least not as much.

Maybe, but I have a great marriage to an attractive husband and....I have no desire for sex. It's 20 years of the same old, not sexy. I am not alone.

Would your husband agree that you have a great marriage?

Sure, I have sex once a week and put on a good show. So he's doing better than most married men. I am simply correcting the misconception that he's at fault for my lack of drive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Demanding is coercive. Hinting is deeply unsexy. Not initiating at all often means no sex at all. Basically nothing works if your wife stops wanting to have sex.

I think this is true. I also think a woman not wanting sex is a sign of a deeper marital problem. She might feel, in the moment, that she's exhausted from the day's work. I know I do. I get up at 5am and it's nonstop serving everyone else but myself until 10 or so at night. I do not want to have sex then, since it is basically another service to someone else. My needs are never met. If I had a better marriage and a husband who cared about my needs in bed, I don't think daily exhaustion would get in the way -- at least not as much.

Maybe, but I have a great marriage to an attractive husband and....I have no desire for sex. It's 20 years of the same old, not sexy. I am not alone.

Would your husband agree that you have a great marriage?

Sure, I have sex once a week and put on a good show. So he's doing better than most married men. I am simply correcting the misconception that he's at fault for my lack of drive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear a lot of men (on DCUM and in real life) who demand sex from their wives when they’re unsatisfied with their sex life. They make comments like:

- married people have sex
- fulfilling your husband’s sexual needs is in your wedding vows
- you should be able to handle life responsibilities without giving up sex
- if you don’t have sex XX times per week, the marriage is open
- if you don’t have sex, we’re getting divorced

I’m just curious: men, has this ever actually worked for you?

My xH said all those things to me, and it made me want sex even less. When I tried to address the underlying issues, he just threatened cheating. When I said I was fine with that, he just nagged me nonstop. I’d suck it up and put out for a few weeks, but it was only me just laying there, completely dissociated and waiting for it to be over. Then I stopped giving in and a few months later, we divorced.

So in our case, I’d say the demands didn’t work. Does it ever actually work for anyone? Did you wife suddenly become hot for you?

Do women ever demand sex?

Girlfriends and APs, all the time, wives, rarely.

I'm the wife. I've tried. More talking than demanding. It doesn't work. Just tried again yesterday.

And no I'm not physically repulsive to my husband or anything like that. Just, he's lost the interest. I've tried to make peace with it because I love my husband. My therapist thinks that this is not sustainable but we'll see.

What are you supposed to do? If at the essence there is a libidinal mismatch, you don't have all the options in the world.

Anonymous wrote:Demanding is coercive. Hinting is deeply unsexy. Not initiating at all often means no sex at all. Basically nothing works if your wife stops wanting to have sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear a lot of men (on DCUM and in real life) who demand sex from their wives when they’re unsatisfied with their sex life. They make comments like:

- married people have sex
- fulfilling your husband’s sexual needs is in your wedding vows
- you should be able to handle life responsibilities without giving up sex
- if you don’t have sex XX times per week, the marriage is open
- if you don’t have sex, we’re getting divorced

I’m just curious: men, has this ever actually worked for you?

My xH said all those things to me, and it made me want sex even less. When I tried to address the underlying issues, he just threatened cheating. When I said I was fine with that, he just nagged me nonstop. I’d suck it up and put out for a few weeks, but it was only me just laying there, completely dissociated and waiting for it to be over. Then I stopped giving in and a few months later, we divorced.

So in our case, I’d say the demands didn’t work. Does it ever actually work for anyone? Did you wife suddenly become hot for you?

Do women ever demand sex?

Girlfriends and APs, all the time, wives, rarely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Demanding is coercive. Hinting is deeply unsexy. Not initiating at all often means no sex at all. Basically nothing works if your wife stops wanting to have sex.

I think this is true. I also think a woman not wanting sex is a sign of a deeper marital problem. She might feel, in the moment, that she's exhausted from the day's work. I know I do. I get up at 5am and it's nonstop serving everyone else but myself until 10 or so at night. I do not want to have sex then, since it is basically another service to someone else. My needs are never met. If I had a better marriage and a husband who cared about my needs in bed, I don't think daily exhaustion would get in the way -- at least not as much.

Maybe, but I have a great marriage to an attractive husband and....I have no desire for sex. It's 20 years of the same old, not sexy. I am not alone.

Would your husband agree that you have a great marriage?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Demanding is coercive. Hinting is deeply unsexy. Not initiating at all often means no sex at all. Basically nothing works if your wife stops wanting to have sex.

I think this is true. I also think a woman not wanting sex is a sign of a deeper marital problem. She might feel, in the moment, that she's exhausted from the day's work. I know I do. I get up at 5am and it's nonstop serving everyone else but myself until 10 or so at night. I do not want to have sex then, since it is basically another service to someone else. My needs are never met. If I had a better marriage and a husband who cared about my needs in bed, I don't think daily exhaustion would get in the way -- at least not as much.

Maybe, but I have a great marriage to an attractive husband and....I have no desire for sex. It's 20 years of the same old, not sexy. I am not alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Demanding is coercive. Hinting is deeply unsexy. Not initiating at all often means no sex at all. Basically nothing works if your wife stops wanting to have sex.

I think this is true. I also think a woman not wanting sex is a sign of a deeper marital problem. She might feel, in the moment, that she's exhausted from the day's work. I know I do. I get up at 5am and it's nonstop serving everyone else but myself until 10 or so at night. I do not want to have sex then, since it is basically another service to someone else. My needs are never met. If I had a better marriage and a husband who cared about my needs in bed, I don't think daily exhaustion would get in the way -- at least not as much.

Anonymous wrote:Demanding is coercive. Hinting is deeply unsexy. Not initiating at all often means no sex at all. Basically nothing works if your wife stops wanting to have sex.