Anonymous
07/07/2021 16:27
Subject: Online dating- how many first dates until you found the “one”?
A few “rounds” of nothing but first dates (okay, there was one awkward second date). Then I met my current boyfriend. Our first date started with lunch and ended in the morning (he got a hotel but there was no sex). We’re planning to move in together and get engaged.
Succinctly: about a year and a half.
Succinctly: about a year and a half.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 08:57
Subject: Re:Online dating- how many first dates until you found the “one”?
Oh man, a lot. I went back and forth between screening very carefully and only going out with guys I thought could really be the one to going out with anyone who asked and back and forth between the two. I met my now husband when I had one week left on my subscription and I wasn't going to renew it. Ironically, he just signed up and ended up not using the rest of his.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 07:20
Subject: Online dating- how many first dates until you found the “one”?
Personally I didn't find online dating worked for me and this was years ago, in the early days of it where people did meet and get married. (late 90s/ early 2000s).
What worked for me was going somewhere different and doing different things - like volunteering at a camp for kids with cancer, or doing pilates in a remote coastal village.
I found meeting people out of context of the rat race of dating meant that I got to know them better and more deeply. And that is how I met my husband.
What worked for me was going somewhere different and doing different things - like volunteering at a camp for kids with cancer, or doing pilates in a remote coastal village.
I found meeting people out of context of the rat race of dating meant that I got to know them better and more deeply. And that is how I met my husband.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 06:05
Subject: Re:Online dating- how many first dates until you found the “one”?
I met twenty-ish guys via online dating before meeting DH. Most were 1-2 dates, but a few I saw multiple times. I started online dating at 28/29 and met DH at 30.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 01:38
Subject: Online dating- how many first dates until you found the “one”?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I do recommend second dates. Sometimes you can meet a great guy, but there is not an initial spark, however, it can build over time and last.
Absolutely agree. I met a guy who was nice but didn’t feel a spark. He asked me on a second date and I gave it a shot and we clicked on the second date. I think we both felt a little more at ease. We’re married now!
For sure, and then some. If the other person has a serious problem, it might make sense to stop seeing them as soon as you discover that. But if you just "weren't feeling it" on the first date - or even the second or third date - you shoudl probably go out with them again. It can really take a while to develop a rapport. "Feeling it" and "sparks" right off the bat are terrible predictors of a good relationship. Many horrible relationships start that way, and many terrific relationships don't, and that's because they have nothing to do with whether it's a good match.
In fact, sometimes initial sparks indicate that it's a bad match. OP, it sounds like you're looking for the wrong indicators.
Can you explain?
Anonymous
07/07/2021 00:38
Subject: Online dating- how many first dates until you found the “one”?
Anonymous wrote:I'm a recently divorced introvert who has never dated before. This thread is the most discouraging thing I've ever read. My ideal partner is home on his couch just like I am. 😞
You can have my ExH. All he did was sit alone watching tv in bed for a decade. I am also an introvert…but ideally, talking to a spouse makes sense. Be careful what you wish for.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 00:26
Subject: Re:Online dating- how many first dates until you found the “one”?
"Feeling it" and "sparks" right off the bat are terrible predictors of a good relationship.
Yet “no spark” or “no chemistry” is the message you’ll get after countless first dates. Oh well!
Anonymous
07/06/2021 23:07
Subject: Online dating- how many first dates until you found the “one”?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I do recommend second dates. Sometimes you can meet a great guy, but there is not an initial spark, however, it can build over time and last.
Absolutely agree. I met a guy who was nice but didn’t feel a spark. He asked me on a second date and I gave it a shot and we clicked on the second date. I think we both felt a little more at ease. We’re married now!
For sure, and then some. If the other person has a serious problem, it might make sense to stop seeing them as soon as you discover that. But if you just "weren't feeling it" on the first date - or even the second or third date - you shoudl probably go out with them again. It can really take a while to develop a rapport. "Feeling it" and "sparks" right off the bat are terrible predictors of a good relationship. Many horrible relationships start that way, and many terrific relationships don't, and that's because they have nothing to do with whether it's a good match.
In fact, sometimes initial sparks indicate that it's a bad match. OP, it sounds like you're looking for the wrong indicators.
Anonymous
07/06/2021 23:05
Subject: Online dating- how many first dates until you found the “one”?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I do recommend second dates. Sometimes you can meet a great guy, but there is not an initial spark, however, it can build over time and last.
Absolutely agree. I met a guy who was nice but didn’t feel a spark. He asked me on a second date and I gave it a shot and we clicked on the second date. I think we both felt a little more at ease. We’re married now!
For sure, and then some. If the other person has a serious problem, it might make sense to stop seeing them as soon as you discover that. But if you just "weren't feeling it" on the first date - or even the second or third date - you shoudl probably go out with them again. It can really take a while to develop a rapport. "Feeling it" and "sparks" right off the bat are terrible predictors of a good relationship. Many horrible relationships start that way, and many terrific relationships don't, and that's because they have nothing to do with whether it's a good match.
Anonymous
07/06/2021 22:56
Subject: Online dating- how many first dates until you found the “one”?
I'm a recently divorced introvert who has never dated before. This thread is the most discouraging thing I've ever read. My ideal partner is home on his couch just like I am. 😞
Anonymous
07/06/2021 20:41
Subject: Online dating- how many first dates until you found the “one”?
Another guy. About ten women, 1-2 dates. One woman for little bit over a year. Two more for five and six months, respectively. Then I met my wife completely unrelated to online. She was a friend of a woman friend that I met at a party. A few months later we bumped into each other in the lobby of a building.
Anonymous
07/06/2021 20:25
Subject: Online dating- how many first dates until you found the “one”?
It seems from what I’ve seen around me, it usually happened really fast or it takes many years.
I took several years off of dating in my 30’s due to stuff going on in my life. At 38 I started online dating. I went on 1 first date with someone else. DH was my 2nd first date.
I took several years off of dating in my 30’s due to stuff going on in my life. At 38 I started online dating. I went on 1 first date with someone else. DH was my 2nd first date.
Anonymous
07/06/2021 20:02
Subject: Online dating- how many first dates until you found the “one”?
Anonymous wrote:I do recommend second dates. Sometimes you can meet a great guy, but there is not an initial spark, however, it can build over time and last.
Absolutely agree. I met a guy who was nice but didn’t feel a spark. He asked me on a second date and I gave it a shot and we clicked on the second date. I think we both felt a little more at ease. We’re married now!
Anonymous
07/06/2021 19:46
Subject: Online dating- how many first dates until you found the “one”?
Anonymous wrote:I do recommend second dates. Sometimes you can meet a great guy, but there is not an initial spark, however, it can build over time and last.
I agree. I probably went on 80 first dates in the past 3.5 years, very few seconds, none caught my interest both physically and emotionally until #81. I’m pretty smitten (won’t ever marry again) and it’s a newer thing but the first time I’m considering a relationship.
Good luck and take your time. I found it very easy to get dates, many with good earners and attractive guys, but I love my life and have no interest in partnering up unless it’s truly worth it as relationships bring joy but also compromise and sacrifice and I’ve enjoyed my single time
Anonymous
07/06/2021 19:27
Subject: Online dating- how many first dates until you found the “one”?
Anonymous wrote:My very first date after my divorce (or during actually) led to a three year relationship. That ended. Took a short break. First person I met after that break is my current 6yr relationship.
(not looking to remarry if anyone is curious why i am in all these long term relationships).
Curious why the 3 year ended?