Men here. Date a lot but don't want to marry again. Plenty of women are available but other than that I am very self sufficient

Anonymous wrote:I own a house, have a nice retirement and I was married a long time. I like to date but don’t want to remarry or live with someone. I’m done cooking and cleaning.

So you live in a dirty house and don't eat?

I own a house, have a nice retirement and I was married a long time. I like to date but don’t want to remarry or live with someone. I’m done cooking and cleaning.

I have been divorced for five years and have enjoyed chain-smoking relationships of 6-9 months with much younger women who eventually get bored and I move on to the next one. I'm assuming at some point I'll get too much older, my looks will fade and I'll have to do something different, but it works for now.

Anonymous wrote:Np here, asking in all sincerity: are none of you wanting the commitment of someone to care for you, and you for them, when you age or become ill?

I get that marriage has its ups and downs, but my family recently cared for my single sibling until they passed. Illness and death can be a time when you need support, and often only family will see you through it. Sometimes it’s not even caregiving, it’s someone to hold your hand when you are dying.

Of course that would be lovely. When I married, I married forever, through thick and thin, etc. But he didn't. He got bored and he left. Nothing I could have done about that, it's not like he gave me a chance and said, hey, can you do this and I said no. He was just like you're no good for me anymore, bye. Actually, I wish he did that, he screwed me over BADLY, gaslighted me, physically and mentally abused me, lied about it, did some crazy shit, bullied me in the divorce then left. Having that experience, have absolutely no desire to go through that again, which is why I'm happily single.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, yes! I have been divorced for 9 years and I have a wonderful SO but we maintain our own residences but we are together 3-4 nights a week. I have my life, he has his and we have ours.

This is the correct answer.

My mom has this situation, and has for about 20 years. They are more like long term companions, with the perks of a relationship, without the annoyances that come with co-habitating and combining finances. It works because they are both financially secure.

This is my goal. I’m 46, have been divorced 3.5 years take lovers when I feel like it and am just considering my first actual relationship. I am more sure than ever that I will not marry again and ideally I will always maintain my own residence and finances. I have a high income job and family wealth.

+1 here. Male, 10 years after divorce. No desire to remarry. Cohabitation definitely off the table until the kids are out of the house in a few years and even after that it's highly unlikely I would ever want to reexperience the conflict and irritations of living together. I would want future a breakup to be a matter of returning a few items and maybe keys, rather than the living hell of a move out.

+1. Guy. Like everything there are benefits and disadvantages to a specific choice. Being able to return the ‘keys’ as opposed to having to divide assets is priceless. But I do miss some of the things that come with marriage. That said, as a couple you’re free to make the relationship how you want it … presumably this could include taking care of someone when they’re ill etc. btw Being married is not a guarantee that this will happen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, yes! I have been divorced for 9 years and I have a wonderful SO but we maintain our own residences but we are together 3-4 nights a week. I have my life, he has his and we have ours.

This is the correct answer.

My mom has this situation, and has for about 20 years. They are more like long term companions, with the perks of a relationship, without the annoyances that come with co-habitating and combining finances. It works because they are both financially secure.

This is my goal. I’m 46, have been divorced 3.5 years take lovers when I feel like it and am just considering my first actual relationship. I am more sure than ever that I will not marry again and ideally I will always maintain my own residence and finances. I have a high income job and family wealth.

+1 here. Male, 10 years after divorce. No desire to remarry. Cohabitation definitely off the table until the kids are out of the house in a few years and even after that it's highly unlikely I would ever want to reexperience the conflict and irritations of living together. I would want future a breakup to be a matter of returning a few items and maybe keys, rather than the living hell of a move out.

Divorced for 24 years and happily single. I was married for 25 years. I have dated and had relationships since my divorce but not presently. I'm happily single either way. I would not marry again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, yes! I have been divorced for 9 years and I have a wonderful SO but we maintain our own residences but we are together 3-4 nights a week. I have my life, he has his and we have ours.

This is the correct answer.

My mom has this situation, and has for about 20 years. They are more like long term companions, with the perks of a relationship, without the annoyances that come with co-habitating and combining finances. It works because they are both financially secure.

This is my goal. I’m 46, have been divorced 3.5 years take lovers when I feel like it and am just considering my first actual relationship. I am more sure than ever that I will not marry again and ideally I will always maintain my own residence and finances. I have a high income job and family wealth.

Anonymous wrote:Np here, asking in all sincerity: are none of you wanting the commitment of someone to care for you, and you for them, when you age or become ill?

I get that marriage has its ups and downs, but my family recently cared for my single sibling until they passed. Illness and death can be a time when you need support, and often only family will see you through it. Sometimes it’s not even caregiving, it’s someone to hold your hand when you are dying.

PSA: one of you will be alone when you get sick and die

Couples rarely die together.

Np here, asking in all sincerity: are none of you wanting the commitment of someone to care for you, and you for them, when you age or become ill?

I get that marriage has its ups and downs, but my family recently cared for my single sibling until they passed. Illness and death can be a time when you need support, and often only family will see you through it. Sometimes it’s not even caregiving, it’s someone to hold your hand when you are dying.

Happily single for years after the divorce. I dated for a while and the games are not for me so I just decided to live my life and if someone comes along, great, if not, I just didn't care for the whole dating scene as it is now. No judgement on people who like it, it's just not for me. Would it be nice to have a good person to share the day to day with? Yes. But am I feeling like I'm lacking on the daily because I'm single? No. I get to do what I want, wear what I want, look like I want, watch what I want, cook what I want, listen to what I want, etc. without someone else's judgement and criticism. It's great.

Happy, single, better off financially, better health and shape.

Single like no partner ever? No. I have a boyfriend.

No plans to marry though.

I am another divorced person in a happy relationship where we have separate homes, separate kids and have our time together. I am in no rush to blend my kids. I either do stuff with him and his kids or he does wiht me and mine. Mostly we find kid free time for us. Occasionally we do stuff ALL together but that's at best a once in every couple of months type thing. I don't see this set up changing anytime soon.