Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 22:28     Subject: Weird response from DH? Or am I crazy?
Anonymous wrote:Omg OP, I understand your reaction at being upset your watering can shattered, however you seemed to go from zero to 100 in thinking that he did it on purpose.

Are there parts of the story you left out that we need for context, because I cannot tell why you'd jump to such an irrational conclusion.

You said he was being "pissy", when was he acting like that? All week? All month? All year?

Yes, he should've apologized, because that's the right thing to do... but it was an accident.
We're human, accidents happen.

You have got to tell us why you'd make such an enormous leap from clumsy accident -------> to passive aggressively smashing your things??



Yeah after some reflection, maybe it was a bit of a leap. But he had a weird reaction earlier in the night too, with a similar air of indifference. I thought he may have been annoyed at me because he thought I was criticizing the way he does things.

For example, as we were preparing dinner, he's chopping veggies:
me: wait, did you wash that pepper before chopping?
dh: no
me: you just cut it dirty?
dh: yes
me: did you wash any of the veggies?
dh: no, i did not.
me: well, you know you're supposed to wash before you cut them
dh: <silence>
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 22:27     Subject: Weird response from DH? Or am I crazy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, it doesn’t sound like he did it on purpose. It sounds like he was carrying something unwieldy and it caught on it. Why do you keep a fragile prized possession on a table at the top of the stairs?

DP. And how is a watering can a prized possession? And why is it made of porcelain?


I'm not OP but it's obviously a decorative object in the shape if a watering can. Not an actual watering can meant to be used. Substitute "vase" in the scenario.


Same question- why on a table at the top of the stairs?
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 22:24     Subject: Weird response from DH? Or am I crazy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, it doesn’t sound like he did it on purpose. It sounds like he was carrying something unwieldy and it caught on it. Why do you keep a fragile prized possession on a table at the top of the stairs?

DP. And how is a watering can a prized possession? And why is it made of porcelain?


I'm not OP but it's obviously a decorative object in the shape if a watering can. Not an actual watering can meant to be used. Substitute "vase" in the scenario.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 22:21     Subject: Weird response from DH? Or am I crazy?
Anonymous wrote:No, it doesn’t sound like he did it on purpose. It sounds like he was carrying something unwieldy and it caught on it. Why do you keep a fragile prized possession on a table at the top of the stairs?

DP. And how is a watering can a prized possession? And why is it made of porcelain?
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 22:20     Subject: Weird response from DH? Or am I crazy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:me: are you mad at me or something?


This seemed like a weird response from you. If you were sad about the watering can and mad with your husband, tell him that. But asking if HE is mad sees weird.


I asked because of the way he reacted - just indifference and what seemed to me like annoyance at being interrogated, and the lack of any remorse or apology.


Oh good God -- I took it like the PP of the post right above mine, as she was accusing him of being pissy all week or something... but OP, were you actually calling his behavior in THAT interaction pissy??

Because if so, there's also a YOU problem there too...

and don't think it went unnoticed that YOU used the word "interrogated" when describing your own actions... I mean, come on!
That reaction from you sounds so dramatic & unnecessary.

Why are you keeping one of your favorite things on a table at the top of the stairs??
Don't you know that anything could get caught on it (ie; laundry basket)??
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 22:19     Subject: Weird response from DH? Or am I crazy?
He probably hated it.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 22:18     Subject: Weird response from DH? Or am I crazy?
Anonymous wrote:He didn’t do it in purpose, he’s just an ahole who would break someone’s stuff and not apologize.


+1.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 22:17     Subject: Weird response from DH? Or am I crazy?
No, it doesn’t sound like he did it on purpose. It sounds like he was carrying something unwieldy and it caught on it. Why do you keep a fragile prized possession on a table at the top of the stairs?
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 22:17     Subject: Weird response from DH? Or am I crazy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:me: are you mad at me or something?


This seemed like a weird response from you. If you were sad about the watering can and mad with your husband, tell him that. But asking if HE is mad sees weird.


I asked because of the way he reacted - just indifference and what seemed to me like annoyance at being interrogated, and the lack of any remorse or apology.

News flash—every single person in the universe is annoyed when they are interrogated. WTH?
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 22:17     Subject: Weird response from DH? Or am I crazy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:His reaction seems like guilt or being upset that you're mad at him. None of that suggests he did it on purpose. Honestly I'd be pretty upset if my spouse called me "pissy" or accused me of breaking things on purpose, too.


plus one
And someone who uses “gifted” and “homed” and thinks a porcelain watering can (wtf) is more important than people. Get your priorities in order. Things are things. They break.


Weird response. OP didn't indicate her stuff was more important than people. Shed like an apology from the person who broke it, which is basic manners.

Btw, not everyone on here is a native English speaker. "Homed" makes sense in a lot of languages and may be something OP picked up from family even if OP herself is a native speaker.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 22:16     Subject: Weird response from DH? Or am I crazy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:His reaction seems like guilt or being upset that you're mad at him. None of that suggests he did it on purpose. Honestly I'd be pretty upset if my spouse called me "pissy" or accused me of breaking things on purpose, too.


plus one
And someone who uses “gifted” and “homed” and thinks a porcelain watering can (wtf) is more important than people. Get your priorities in order. Things are things. They break.


I can be upset about one of my favorite things being broken. That does not mean I think it's more important than people.


When I hear a crash upstairs I ask “are you OK?” …
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 22:16     Subject: Weird response from DH? Or am I crazy?
You have problems if he breaks stuff out of anger.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 22:15     Subject: Weird response from DH? Or am I crazy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:His reaction seems like guilt or being upset that you're mad at him. None of that suggests he did it on purpose. Honestly I'd be pretty upset if my spouse called me "pissy" or accused me of breaking things on purpose, too.


plus one
And someone who uses “gifted” and “homed” and thinks a porcelain watering can (wtf) is more important than people. Get your priorities in order. Things are things. They break.


I can be upset about one of my favorite things being broken. That does not mean I think it's more important than people.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 22:15     Subject: Re:Weird response from DH? Or am I crazy?
Guessing he's sorry, not sorry. Your marriage has deep problems, it seems. Guessing you knew that. Seek couples counseling.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2021 22:15     Subject: Weird response from DH? Or am I crazy?
Anonymous wrote:He didn’t do it in purpose, he’s just an ahole who would break someone’s stuff and not apologize.


Agree.

He also may be one of those careless mindless types….who have so many accidents they never apologize or talk about most of them. It’s almost normal for things to always be broken, or him late, or kids injure in his watch….