Hi OP, my DD is the exact same. Same age, same behaviors. Only difference is that she is not diagnosed with ADHD, but DH has it so I suspect she does too.

Just tonight I took away her computer for the rest of summer because of the incessant lying about it. It's just so tiring.

She was also watching inappropriate videos on Youtube and we had a long talk about how Youtube is dangerous. I don't think she cared.

A lot of the people in the thread have posted unkind things insinuating that there is some problem with you that caused this. All I can say that there are others in the exact same situation struggling in the exact same way.

You are not alone and we are all just trying to do the best we can.

I am sure this is related to ADHD and impulsive behavior and not thinking about consequences. If something is taken from you, then you can’t trust her, so take the door off her room and tell her she has to go a week without taking anything that isn’t hers to earn it back. Second offense, two weeks. Get treatment for ADHD. Also, lying and sneaking around means she’s too tired to make good choices, so she needs to go to bed thirty minutes earlier.

^^"All the phones have to be on data plans to access the internet" [unless they are accessing via wireless, so change the WiFi password]

All the phones have to be on data plans to access the internet -- check your plans online and deactivate any phones you are not currently using. Then change the WiFi password.

The natural consequence for not being able to trust her to use electronics responsibly is to have her internet access restricted to family areas where you can see the screen; e.g., a desktop or laptop facing the wall.

I would absolutely take the iPad away completely. K no it’s adults have trouble regulating screen time and I think it is inappropriate to expect even SN children to do so. Some can but the vast majority can’t and it isn’t a character flaw.

Anonymous wrote:Too everyone bashing iPad/YouTube - why did our generation lie/take thing that weren't ours, challenge authority, test limits when we were teens? I mean, really. This is pure adolescent development 101. I suggest reading Untangled.

We are bot bashing the ipad. We are bashing letting someone do the fun thing after lying about it. I was a tv addict as a teen. Dad would take the cable connector off in the am. I found it and plugged in. And then he took it away completely and i found a piece that made the tv work anyway. Failed a class in 10th grade. Went to summer school. Eventually straightened out since they became much more involved in my after school life and became a successful engineer and i can fix most anything.

Unfortunately these things are just so addictive. Just watch adults at a restaurant or concert. They cannot stop looking at the phone and nothing is even on it. Take it away for a while, not as a punishment. Just tell her its too addictive and she needs a break to reset her brain. Then get off your phone if you use it around her often and model not using it much.