I'm due soon and my 3 and 5 year old are going to stay at grandma and grandpas. They REALLY want to see us in the hospital, but hospitals still don't allow visitors. So we'll wait until we're home and see how we're feeling. I've debated letting them stay at grandma and grandpa's house longer because that first night home with a baby was hell. Baby always cried the entire night and my milk hadn't come in well.

Either way, my older kids aren't 2nd class citizens. They're so excited for the baby and can't wait to be a bigger family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just had a baby. Sent bigger kids to grandparents. I hugely, HUGELY regret not leaving them a couple extra days. 2.5 yr old had giant 4 a.m. meltdowns on the first and second nights but does great with grandparents. I should have given myself more time to physically recover from birth before bringing them back.

He had a huge meltdown because you ignored him and made him feel like he was no longer important or wanted. If you can't deal with more than one child, then you should not have had another child.

WhAt in the world kind of response is that? I guess the first child should have been helping in the deliver room maybe holding up your leg ?!?! First kid having a meltdown after second is born is totally normal and has nothing to do with anything you reference.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just had a baby. Sent bigger kids to grandparents. I hugely, HUGELY regret not leaving them a couple extra days. 2.5 yr old had giant 4 a.m. meltdowns on the first and second nights but does great with grandparents. I should have given myself more time to physically recover from birth before bringing them back.

He had a huge meltdown because you ignored him and made him feel like he was no longer important or wanted. If you can't deal with more than one child, then you should not have had another child.

So now it’s neglect for older sibling to be at grandma’s while you’re having a baby? Wow. I guess the only thing that would satisfy you is for older sibling to be in the delivery room? After all, If you can’t take care of both at once at all times, you shouldn’t have another!

Anonymous wrote:I just had a baby. Sent bigger kids to grandparents. I hugely, HUGELY regret not leaving them a couple extra days. 2.5 yr old had giant 4 a.m. meltdowns on the first and second nights but does great with grandparents. I should have given myself more time to physically recover from birth before bringing them back.

He had a huge meltdown because you ignored him and made him feel like he was no longer important or wanted. If you can't deal with more than one child, then you should not have had another child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:while you were in the hospital, when did you have them come home?

Before you and the baby came home, so they were waiting?

A few hours later once you were settled in?

Stop by for a visit, but spend a few more nights with Grandma?

Wait a few years! What a horrible thing to do. Are the older children no longer important? You are awful.

I am pretty sure no one has suggested waiting a few years.

Anonymous wrote:while you were in the hospital, when did you have them come home?

Before you and the baby came home, so they were waiting?

A few hours later once you were settled in?

Stop by for a visit, but spend a few more nights with Grandma?

Wait a few years! What a horrible thing to do. Are the older children no longer important? You are awful.

DC1 stayed home and had family come to stay at our house to watch them. It was during COVID times, so we were only able to video chat while we were at the hospital. Family stayed for a week, and I handed DC1 off to them in the morning, which was really helpful.

If DC1 is comfortable at Grandma's, I'd let her stay there for the first few days. If DC1 wants to be home, I'd see if Grandma wanted to hang out at your house for the first few days. It's a major adjustment for DC1, and having an extra adult around is tremendously helpful in making sure that both kids get the attention they need.