Anonymous
Post 07/03/2021 15:34     Subject: Teens/Tweens Calling DD B*tch
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At our local community park where DD (14) goes often by herself to play basketball with her sister, there was some altercation with a group of boys who ended up calling her that name. Nothing else happened but DD was visibility upset. I wasn’t nearby it happened, and we couldn’t quite tell which group of boys it was afterwards, but DH did t want me to go yell at them for calling DD names as he is worried that would escalate a bullying situation — he feels DD is has stand up to them and that involving the parents with teens for name calling would make it worse. The boys parents were not there.

To be clear, he doesn’t think it’s a moral exercise where DD has to be strong enough, it’s more he believes us swooping in and yelling means next time they interact with this crowd at the park it would be worse and we wouldn’t likely be there.

I wanted to ream into them and DD just wanted to leave. So?


You need to give more information about the altercation. Did your daughter start the altercation by refusing to share the basketball court? The boys shouldn't be calling names but the name calling does indicate a certain level of frustration being released in an immature way. If your daughter refused to share the basketball court then you need to reprimand her, not the boys. It is a public court meant to be shared by all.


Victim blaming much?

OP ignore this sub human


She isn't a victim if she started the fight.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2021 15:34     Subject: Teens/Tweens Calling DD B*tch
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At our local community park where DD (14) goes often by herself to play basketball with her sister, there was some altercation with a group of boys who ended up calling her that name. Nothing else happened but DD was visibility upset. I wasn’t nearby it happened, and we couldn’t quite tell which group of boys it was afterwards, but DH did t want me to go yell at them for calling DD names as he is worried that would escalate a bullying situation — he feels DD is has stand up to them and that involving the parents with teens for name calling would make it worse. The boys parents were not there.

To be clear, he doesn’t think it’s a moral exercise where DD has to be strong enough, it’s more he believes us swooping in and yelling means next time they interact with this crowd at the park it would be worse and we wouldn’t likely be there.

I wanted to ream into them and DD just wanted to leave. So?


You need to give more information about the altercation. Did your daughter start the altercation by refusing to share the basketball court? The boys shouldn't be calling names but the name calling does indicate a certain level of frustration being released in an immature way. If your daughter refused to share the basketball court then you need to reprimand her, not the boys. It is a public court meant to be shared by all.


+1 I think the daughter refused to let the boys play and they called her out on it.


Just so I understand, a tween and a teen playing horse on half a court always have to give the court up so a group of 6 teen boys can play full court? Even if they have only been playing 15 minutes? I never grew up near community basketballs, so was unaware that teams trump individual play immediately.


OP conveniently doesn't go into the details; however, it seems highly likely that the boys asked to share the court. Yes, the daughter should have shared. She doesn't get to keep the court to herself. It is a community court.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2021 15:31     Subject: Teens/Tweens Calling DD B*tch
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At our local community park where DD (14) goes often by herself to play basketball with her sister, there was some altercation with a group of boys who ended up calling her that name. Nothing else happened but DD was visibility upset. I wasn’t nearby it happened, and we couldn’t quite tell which group of boys it was afterwards, but DH did t want me to go yell at them for calling DD names as he is worried that would escalate a bullying situation — he feels DD is has stand up to them and that involving the parents with teens for name calling would make it worse. The boys parents were not there.

To be clear, he doesn’t think it’s a moral exercise where DD has to be strong enough, it’s more he believes us swooping in and yelling means next time they interact with this crowd at the park it would be worse and we wouldn’t likely be there.

I wanted to ream into them and DD just wanted to leave. So?


You need to give more information about the altercation. Did your daughter start the altercation by refusing to share the basketball court? The boys shouldn't be calling names but the name calling does indicate a certain level of frustration being released in an immature way. If your daughter refused to share the basketball court then you need to reprimand her, not the boys. It is a public court meant to be shared by all.


Victim blaming much?

OP ignore this sub human
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2021 15:26     Subject: Re:Teens/Tweens Calling DD B*tch
At 14, you are doing her no favors by jumping in. What you do is after the fact you talk about that it was not acceptable behavior and give her options of how to react. Walking away is a valid option. So is standing up for herself.
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2021 22:31     Subject: Teens/Tweens Calling DD B*tch
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP that stinks. But I agree with your DH. I would teach DD to just walk away.

This


+1

very important not to escalate
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2021 22:00     Subject: Re:Teens/Tweens Calling DD B*tch
Anonymous wrote:She needs to know how to respond.

I’d say.

That’s right I’m a b and you’re a wuss glad we cleared that up.


I love you!
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2021 21:42     Subject: Teens/Tweens Calling DD B*tch
Anonymous wrote:OP that stinks. But I agree with your DH. I would teach DD to just walk away.

This
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2021 16:23     Subject: Teens/Tweens Calling DD B*tch
I don't think anyone said that. It could be they were playing on a half court and the boys wanted to shoot on the same basket. There are jerky kids, boys and girls, who don't want to share a basket or who have been hogging a basket for a long time and refuse to give a timeframe for giving it up. I've seen it. It's kind of rude.

I'm not saying OP's daughter was doing this but I think these multiple posts about tween/teen boys are getting tiresome and sound like fake troll posts.
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2021 16:16     Subject: Teens/Tweens Calling DD B*tch
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At our local community park where DD (14) goes often by herself to play basketball with her sister, there was some altercation with a group of boys who ended up calling her that name. Nothing else happened but DD was visibility upset. I wasn’t nearby it happened, and we couldn’t quite tell which group of boys it was afterwards, but DH did t want me to go yell at them for calling DD names as he is worried that would escalate a bullying situation — he feels DD is has stand up to them and that involving the parents with teens for name calling would make it worse. The boys parents were not there.

To be clear, he doesn’t think it’s a moral exercise where DD has to be strong enough, it’s more he believes us swooping in and yelling means next time they interact with this crowd at the park it would be worse and we wouldn’t likely be there.

I wanted to ream into them and DD just wanted to leave. So?


You need to give more information about the altercation. Did your daughter start the altercation by refusing to share the basketball court? The boys shouldn't be calling names but the name calling does indicate a certain level of frustration being released in an immature way. If your daughter refused to share the basketball court then you need to reprimand her, not the boys. It is a public court meant to be shared by all.


+1 I think the daughter refused to let the boys play and they called her out on it.


Just so I understand, a tween and a teen playing horse on half a court always have to give the court up so a group of 6 teen boys can play full court? Even if they have only been playing 15 minutes? I never grew up near community basketballs, so was unaware that teams trump individual play immediately.
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2021 14:48     Subject: Teens/Tweens Calling DD B*tch
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At our local community park where DD (14) goes often by herself to play basketball with her sister, there was some altercation with a group of boys who ended up calling her that name. Nothing else happened but DD was visibility upset. I wasn’t nearby it happened, and we couldn’t quite tell which group of boys it was afterwards, but DH did t want me to go yell at them for calling DD names as he is worried that would escalate a bullying situation — he feels DD is has stand up to them and that involving the parents with teens for name calling would make it worse. The boys parents were not there.

To be clear, he doesn’t think it’s a moral exercise where DD has to be strong enough, it’s more he believes us swooping in and yelling means next time they interact with this crowd at the park it would be worse and we wouldn’t likely be there.

I wanted to ream into them and DD just wanted to leave. So?


You need to give more information about the altercation. Did your daughter start the altercation by refusing to share the basketball court? The boys shouldn't be calling names but the name calling does indicate a certain level of frustration being released in an immature way. If your daughter refused to share the basketball court then you need to reprimand her, not the boys. It is a public court meant to be shared by all.


+1 I think the daughter refused to let the boys play and they called her out on it.
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2021 11:22     Subject: Re:Teens/Tweens Calling DD B*tch
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She needs to know how to respond.

I’d say.

That’s right I’m a b and you’re a wuss glad we cleared that up.


Not really.

Safety first. If it's a group of boys and just her and her sister, you leave. Remove yourself.


She can say it while she is leaving but really big deal she was called a name.


What if they follow her?

You all tell your daughters whatever you want. In my house, the instructions are do not escalate or engage when you are alone or in a pair and there are not other people close by or a safe place to get to quickly.
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2021 11:19     Subject: Re:Teens/Tweens Calling DD B*tch
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She needs to know how to respond.

I’d say.

That’s right I’m a b and you’re a wuss glad we cleared that up.


Not really.

Safety first. If it's a group of boys and just her and her sister, you leave. Remove yourself.


She can say it while she is leaving but really big deal she was called a name.
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2021 11:19     Subject: Re:Teens/Tweens Calling DD B*tch
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She needs to know how to respond.

I’d say.

That’s right I’m a b and you’re a wuss glad we cleared that up.


Not really.

Safety first. If it's a group of boys and just her and her sister, you leave. Remove yourself.


OR look around and get yourself in a place with more people around. Other adults.

Have you not covered all this stuff with her OP. Walk through with her all the scenarios and what to do. She will get followed at some point, verbally harassed, etc.
Anonymous
Post 07/02/2021 11:18     Subject: Re:Teens/Tweens Calling DD B*tch
Anonymous wrote:She needs to know how to respond.

I’d say.

That’s right I’m a b and you’re a wuss glad we cleared that up.


Not really.

Safety first. If it's a group of boys and just her and her sister, you leave. Remove yourself.