Anonymous wrote:Here’s a plan. Tell them they are welcome, and then go check yourself into a hotel.

Brilliant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is your husband's family, why isn't he working out the logistics? And why are you getting the crappiest sleeping arrangement of the bunch?

Oh, we've discussed it! it literally just came up today. We just didn't come to a firm conclusion yet... I think because we both like the idea of making it work but know in our hearts that it's probably ridiculous.

I would sleep on the couch because no one but DC and DH would be willing to sleep on her loft bed, and the couch is large and reasonably comfortable, while I am short. DH also objected to my sleeping on the couch, so it's not on him! It's just that otherwise I'd have to sleep with one of my adult nieces or something... it was the best I could come up with.

No. How about getting them air mattresses. Walmart has cheap twins or fulls for under $10 each.

I’m still shaking my head at this whole dog situation. I love dogs but I don’t understand how you could even entertain this idea. How ridiculously disrespectful to think that someone with a dog allergy could host your dog.

No no no no

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a plan. Tell them they are welcome, and then go check yourself into a hotel.

Hahahaha

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you seen the movie Bridesmaids--the bridal shop scene? One bad takeout meal plus only one bathroom for nine people and...

OP and I know! I'm amazed (*knocks wood*) even just the three of us haven't had stomach bugs at the same time. Once in a while one of us does the pee dance or whatever, but so far we've been fine with one bathroom. Plus, no big deal for one person to use the toilet while another is in the shower-- which seems like it would be much more awkward with 9 people in the house!

When DC is a teen, we may be able to stop renting the basement, which will be an extra studio + full bath.

Here’s a plan. Tell them they are welcome, and then go check yourself into a hotel.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you seem like a sweet person with a good heart, as your husband is. But this is a no. Not with the size and 1 bathroom. You shouldn’t sleep on the couch in your own home

They need to get a hotel or Airbnb.

I think you're right. And thanks for calling me sweet instead of stupid.

It's hard because we do like being together... and I think especially because older BIL has owned a home and opened it up to us for... I guess 25 years now. And we just bought our first one 3 years ago and would like to reciprocate! But it's also true that his home, while not massive, is probably 50-75% bigger than ours... and has a second bathroom! I guess it also brings up complicated feelings for me as I feel annoyed that older BIL may be put off by this-- which is his own fault, since he has unrealistic expectations! At least his wife will likely knock some sense into him. "Larlo! They have one bathroom!" Yes, you can count on her.

Our neighbor 2 doors down literally does have an Airbnb... and I'm sure others in walking distance (streetcar suburb near the Metro). Maybe we can have some recommendations at the ready.

OP, have you seen the movie Bridesmaids--the bridal shop scene? One bad takeout meal plus only one bathroom for nine people and...

OP, you seem like a sweet person with a good heart, as your husband is. But this is a no. Not with the size and 1 bathroom. You shouldn’t sleep on the couch in your own home

They need to get a hotel or Airbnb.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Just out of curiosity, does anyone NOT think it would be a nightmare? Don't worry, I'm leaning against! But this family has all these happy memories of 12 cousins sleeping on the living room floor together while adults took all the bedrooms and everyone shared 1 or 2 bathrooms so...

The more I think about it, I do think older BIL was being shortsighted and self-centered in his way (which he is prone to). "Oh, we'll just stay with X and Y!" Not thinking through the logistics, his brother's allergy, etc. More oblivious than straight up narcissistic, but frankly, maybe a little of Column B as is his tendency. I have a feeling he will be a little put off if we say no, but I guess that's his problem.

(DH will handle it! Not me. I think he's even more comfortable than I am in setting boundaries-- but he also finds this idea at least a little more appealing than I do.)

Small house person who has hosted that many involuntarily. IT IS AND WILL BE A NIGHTMARE. If they were young kids it might not be as bad but you are talking about 6 adults all on different schedules and all that plus one bathroom. They really should get a hotel room. By the time you feed everyone it will be the same price as them getting a hotel room. I'd say its a really bad time (especially if you are doing summer school/work from home) and offer to host them for dinner.

Actually 8 adults per OP

Hell no

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remind them that one toilet shared by 9 people for three days is a recipe for disaster. And then say no.

OP here. Do you think it would actually kill our plumbing? I admit I never thought of that. The house *was* built in the 1930s!

I agree it does seem a bit much. What about offering to host the adult DDs (they're lovely)? That way basically everyone gets something like a real bed, and it's only... 6 adults and 1 kid? Still too much? No dog in this scenario, at least!

No it will not kill your plumbing.

Just tell them that they'll need to sleep on air mattresses in the basement or where ever you can fit them. Although we did that once and they agreed to our unfinished basement.

I can fit them. There's no basement (it's rented out). It's just a very very tight fit.

Then what size is your house. We have a 1000 square foot house - I consider that small, not 2000-3000 square feet. It will be very uncomfortable.

If we are just talking about the part that we live in, about 1300 square feet.

The bedroom situation is kind of okay, I think (though DH does WFH out of one of them). The bigger issue is 1) the bathroom and a distant 2) the lack of a ton of space to move around in on the main level. I mean, we've had 2x as many for parties! But it's a bit tight.

Anonymous wrote:If this is your husband's family, why isn't he working out the logistics? And why are you getting the crappiest sleeping arrangement of the bunch?

Oh, we've discussed it! it literally just came up today. We just didn't come to a firm conclusion yet... I think because we both like the idea of making it work but know in our hearts that it's probably ridiculous.

I would sleep on the couch because no one but DC and DH would be willing to sleep on her loft bed, and the couch is large and reasonably comfortable, while I am short. DH also objected to my sleeping on the couch, so it's not on him! It's just that otherwise I'd have to sleep with one of my adult nieces or something... it was the best I could come up with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remind them that one toilet shared by 9 people for three days is a recipe for disaster. And then say no.

OP here. Do you think it would actually kill our plumbing? I admit I never thought of that. The house *was* built in the 1930s!

I agree it does seem a bit much. What about offering to host the adult DDs (they're lovely)? That way basically everyone gets something like a real bed, and it's only... 6 adults and 1 kid? Still too much? No dog in this scenario, at least!

No it will not kill your plumbing.

Just tell them that they'll need to sleep on air mattresses in the basement or where ever you can fit them. Although we did that once and they agreed to our unfinished basement.

I can fit them. There's no basement (it's rented out). It's just a very very tight fit.

Then what size is your house. We have a 1000 square foot house - I consider that small, not 2000-3000 square feet. It will be very uncomfortable.

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Just out of curiosity, does anyone NOT think it would be a nightmare? Don't worry, I'm leaning against! But this family has all these happy memories of 12 cousins sleeping on the living room floor together while adults took all the bedrooms and everyone shared 1 or 2 bathrooms so...

The more I think about it, I do think older BIL was being shortsighted and self-centered in his way (which he is prone to). "Oh, we'll just stay with X and Y!" Not thinking through the logistics, his brother's allergy, etc. More oblivious than straight up narcissistic, but frankly, maybe a little of Column B as is his tendency. I have a feeling he will be a little put off if we say no, but I guess that's his problem.

(DH will handle it! Not me. I think he's even more comfortable than I am in setting boundaries-- but he also finds this idea at least a little more appealing than I do.)

Small house person who has hosted that many involuntarily. IT IS AND WILL BE A NIGHTMARE. If they were young kids it might not be as bad but you are talking about 6 adults all on different schedules and all that plus one bathroom. They really should get a hotel room. By the time you feed everyone it will be the same price as them getting a hotel room. I'd say its a really bad time (especially if you are doing summer school/work from home) and offer to host them for dinner.