I would go out and get the kids some Mickey D’s in response. And have them eat it in front of her kids.

Anonymous wrote:It seems she wants youto help her with her parenting style. If she is so sure of her choices she shouldn’t care. If my kids were not allowed to have fries I would not expect others not to eat them. What is she thinking? The world will not adjust to her.

Exactly. She needs to talk to her kids, not you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to go pound sand.

+1. I'd try harder not to cause envy (I know you were already trying) but her kids are going to see stuff they want and she'll have to deal with it. It would be more reasonable of her to allow treats on vacation, than vice versa.

But she doesn't get to be "concerned" about your kids, I would be pissed about that.

+1 to all of this. I'd try to make things discrete. But first, she's not concerned about your kids, she just doesn't want to deal with hers when they want snacks and ipad time. Second, it's a lot more reasonable for her to loosen the reins *on vacation* than it is for you to pull back on them.

Anonymous wrote:Is her family richer than yours?
Are your kids fatter than hers?
Is she more successful than you?
Are you fatter than her?
Is she married and you a single/divorced mom?
Does she have NT kids and your kids are SN?


Can't give advice without understanding the source of the animosity. But I can bet that it is not only screens and junk food.

I can believe it. People who make a choice to completely shun (not just limit) things like screens and junk food instead of teaching their kids boundaries and small / sometimes portions tend to be SUPER sanctimonious about those choices.

I would just roll my eyes at her faux concern trolling.

You can try to prevent envy, but it is not fair for your kids to give up stuff on vacation because of her preferences.

This is your sister, right? All you need to say to her is “You do you, I do me. Now go get another glass of wine if you want to then chat about anything other than how I parent. Otherwise, GFY! Love you, mean it!”

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids overweight and addicted to screens? Look in a mirror.

She might not have been right to say anything but I'm sure there is a problem on your end too.

Miss Marple has entered the chat.

Are your kids overweight and addicted to screens? Look in a mirror.

She might not have been right to say anything but I'm sure there is a problem on your end too.

Anonymous wrote:Is her family richer than yours?
Are your kids fatter than hers?
Is she more successful than you?
Are you fatter than her?
Is she married and you a single/divorced mom?
Does she have NT kids and your kids are SN?


Can't give advice without understanding the source of the animosity. But I can bet that it is not only screens and junk food.

Oh dear.

You should tell your sister you are really worried that her kids are going to totally rebel and be drug addicts because of her crazy strict lifestyle.

And then laugh and say “see sis, let’s stay out of each other’s parenting.”

When cousins are together on vacation, there's a sense that yes, they're part of the same family--but then different family rules and parenting decisions are more obvious. It makes it hard for the more strict parents to uphold their own particular standards, and that may have made your sister defensive about her own choices. Nonetheless, it was rude of her to challenge you.

You certainly don't have to change your own parenting, but just be aware that life will be easier for everyone if you are separate for the things you do differently. (Food, media, bedtimes, souvenirs, etc.) We've had vacations with cousins where the other kids came back from a nuclear family outing with ice cream and expensive souvenirs. Even if we love ice cream and are OK with souvenirs (but might have picked cheaper ones), the contrast in the moment of the haves and the have-nots is unpleasant.

Is her family richer than yours?
Are your kids fatter than hers?
Is she more successful than you?
Are you fatter than her?
Is she married and you a single/divorced mom?
Does she have NT kids and your kids are SN?


Can't give advice without understanding the source of the animosity. But I can bet that it is not only screens and junk food.

I would be so tempted to tell her to FO. But not very productive!

I would be extra careful not to create envy in her poor children - so no pulling out of iPads, no walking in with fries, etc. It’s good for your kids to have a detox from all that, frankly. You don’t need to live like this all year - just when your families get together.

Parents get to raise their kids how they want to raise them. Tell your sister to pound sand.

My issue is that it's the grandparents constantly pushing ipads and dessert. No, my kids don't get dessert daily or multiple times a day. My parents whined about me trying to police their food intake, but it's rude to eat dessert in front of kids nonstop. Instead of food for lunch, my parents would have ice cream or apple pie.