People are jumping to conclusions based upon very limited information and heresay. As with marriages, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. I used to work at a financial aid office for a university, and let me tell you that people have NO IDEA what personal financial lives are really like. OP, you are getting angry and riling others up based upon select information. There could be unknown medical bills (including psychological ones), step-children, bankruptcy, an elderly parent who is at a nursing home, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Unless people are cheating on the financial aid forms -- they declare their equity in their homes on the forms and then a decision is made as to whether they qualify.
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I know we didn't qualify for any aid for private school. Our combined income is less than $200k and we live in a small townhouse that costs us less than $200k. We have only one car. We felt penalized because we lived w/in our means. We got over worrying about what other people did....it doesn't help. For college -- the elite Ivies use a different formula and don't count your home against you. So, we did get a $6000 award to go towards the $52,000 tuition. We're feeling really poor now but we appreciate the $6000.

In the end, living within your means has to be its own reward. You're not dependent on someone else's largesse and you don't live in a state of perpetual insecurity and worry. But, yeah, it costs and in ways that don't always seem fair.

Yes, people are complaining precisely because FA does not contribute much to the economic diversity of a private school when it is used to subsidize the tuition of people who live in $1 million+ houses.

No one is objecting to FA per se. But I'd like to see it contribute to upward mobility rather than be a safety net for the affluent.

Those of you complaining about giving FA to fellow parents: do you know that FA is what makes socioeconomic diversity possible at private schools? You aren't the FA office and you do not know enough information about other parents' finances to be judging them, so you cannot make the judgments as to who should receive aid. If you don't like supporting FA, you do not have to have your child attend a private school.

The burbs are horrid and you need 2 cars.

Please. Sounds like a bunch of hooey. Live in a smaller house or out in the burbs.

Unless people are cheating on the financial aid forms -- they declare their equity in their homes on the forms and then a decision is made as to whether they qualify.
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I know we didn't qualify for any aid for private school. Our combined income is less than $200k and we live in a small townhouse that costs us less than $200k. We have only one car. We felt penalized because we lived w/in our means. We got over worrying about what other people did....it doesn't help. For college -- the elite Ivies use a different formula and don't count your home against you. So, we did get a $6000 award to go towards the $52,000 tuition. We're feeling really poor now but we appreciate the $6000.

Sometimes, things just don't smell right. Living in a large home in one of the most expensive zip codes in the city, then taking money from fellow parents, is one of those things that doesn't smell good.

Anonymous wrote:

If the school sees their total financial picture and awards them aid, why the assumption that they are committing some kind of financial shenanigans?

Good point. My beef is equally with the school -and- the family that is living in a 6 bedroom house in Chevy Chase while taking money from the school's FA pool.

You are not qualified to judge the financial situation of the the family living in the 6-bedroom house in Chevy Chase. In fact, no one can judge based on the house. Otherwise the FA application would read like this: If you reside in an X-bedroom house in X community, do not apply.

If the school sees their total financial picture and awards them aid, why the assumption that they are committing some kind of financial shenanigans?

Good point. My beef is equally with the school -and- the family that is living in a 6 bedroom house in Chevy Chase while taking money from the school's FA pool.

How do you know they have substantial equity? they might not have had an iffy mortgage but may have already used the equity (if they have any) to pay for something else. You are jumping to SO many conclusions. Anyone on FA has to fill out many forms and it includes info on the market value, what they purchased the house for (which is public record), their mortgage payments etc. They also have to turn in their tax forms which substantiate much of their inputs. If the school sees their total financial picture and awards them aid, why the assumption that they are committing some kind of financial shenanigans? Maybe they are getting only several thousand dollars in aid, which is just what they need to keep their kids there. Maybe one of the parents is unemployed but has not revealed that (often people are ashamed to admit that). Maybe there is something more going on. Whatever it is, you have no right to accuse them or judge them. If you think FA is going to the wrong people then get involved on the Board of your school and help with outreach. Don't just sit back and judge others when you have no way of having their complete info.

In what way can we as parents make our concerns known to our schools? At our school we are not allowed to designate that our annual fund contributions go to faculty development, the music program, etc., so I am also contributing to FA.No one has mentioned that with limited resources schools can also "play favorites" among families -- I've seen it happen. We are at a Catholic school and I feel pretty confident that there are certain "core" families that will always get aid, no matter how many kids they have or what their kids' relative merits, and whether or not there are other applicants with greater need. We don't need FA so I'm not complaining for myself, but I am unhappy about the decisions I see being made with respect to others who tell me about their situations.

np here. Why do I care, as a middle class parent who makes sacrifices to pay for tuition for my own kids **AND** make a contribution every year to the annual scholarship fund at the school? Thank you for asking.

I do not feel good about contributing to a $ pool that might be distributed to a family who has not drawn down its own assets AS I HAVE. (The rental situation aside,) I would like to see that family suck out all their equity before they ask me for money. I would like to see them live as modestly as the other families who receive FA before they take money out of my hand. If they are "upside down" due to dumb financial decisions like no-money-down, ARM iffy mortgages, I would not like to give them my money until they get their financial house in order.

OP here. I can say that I know that this family has substantial equity in the 1 million dollar house, since at one point the parents were talking about how their older house was fully paid for, and they they moved up to this house. And the older house was sold for about $700 K several years ago. So whatever mortgage they acquired to get into the big house is relatively low (and lower than mine, I can tell you).

Okay, why should I care right? I do care. I say, "Why is this person taking away financial aid from kids who come from places where they would NEVER have the opportunity of a private school education were it not for financial aid." I don't know what kind of financial shenanigans this family was able to portray on their financial aid application, but knowing that some resources are going to a family who under any circumstances would be sending their kids to private schools (as they have since preschool, during the time they also had a nanny) makes me upset.

I don't assume that everybody living in a $1 million+ house is equally affluent. But it's a pretty safe bet that anyone living in $1 million+ house has or has had more economic resources available to them than most people in the US.

And I don't assume that it's only people living in $1 million+ houses who have medical bills, unemployment crises, and other family members to support.