Anonymous
Post 06/28/2021 21:21     Subject: Uncomfortable in a bikini
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP you sound like you have a lot of issues. Both your body insecurity and insecurity in regards to your DH.

You can’t go to the pool because you don’t want to be around men?? Sorry, but that is your problem, not your DHs. Wear whatever you want to the pool. No one cares. Your DH is likely just being social at the pool, not creepy and leering. But your insecurities make your think it is because someone is in a bikini is the reason he is talking to them. Likely not. There are probably just a lot more moms than dads at the pool.



You sound like a terrible person.


No, you shouldn’t move to a neighborhood centered around a neighborhood pool if bathing suits, both on you and on other people, make your uncomfortable. OP can go to the pool in shorts and a t-shirt, in a maxi dress, in a “modest” suit, really she can wear whatever she wants. But she won’t go and if her husband goes he isn’t supposed to talk to women in bathing suits?? Sorry, this is nuts.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2021 21:16     Subject: Uncomfortable in a bikini
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm an American girl born and raised with what is considered to be a bikini body-and I don't wear bikinis. I don't feel comfortable in them. I usually wear a 1 piece with a long wrap around them or even shorts and a shirt.


You wear what you're comfortable in.

Also, your DH is gross for leering at and flirting with women when he's supposed to be enjoying the day with his wife and kids.


To be fair, she said he was chatting and looking at them while wearing sunglasses… which could just mean talking to other parents who happen to be women and looking in their direction as is generally considered to be polite.


Yes of course the OP must mean something other than what she said because she's just a jealous hysterical woman!


The OP reads to me that she understands that this is all a “her” problem because she doesn’t feel comfortable in a bathing suit and also doesn’t feel comfortable with her husband around other women in bathing suits. It’s a tough situation. That doesn’t mean her husband is doing anything wrong by being friendly with neighbors at the pool.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2021 21:13     Subject: Uncomfortable in a bikini
Anonymous wrote:OP you sound like you have a lot of issues. Both your body insecurity and insecurity in regards to your DH.

You can’t go to the pool because you don’t want to be around men?? Sorry, but that is your problem, not your DHs. Wear whatever you want to the pool. No one cares. Your DH is likely just being social at the pool, not creepy and leering. But your insecurities make your think it is because someone is in a bikini is the reason he is talking to them. Likely not. There are probably just a lot more moms than dads at the pool.



You sound like a terrible person.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2021 21:12     Subject: Uncomfortable in a bikini
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm an American girl born and raised with what is considered to be a bikini body-and I don't wear bikinis. I don't feel comfortable in them. I usually wear a 1 piece with a long wrap around them or even shorts and a shirt.


You wear what you're comfortable in.

Also, your DH is gross for leering at and flirting with women when he's supposed to be enjoying the day with his wife and kids.


To be fair, she said he was chatting and looking at them while wearing sunglasses… which could just mean talking to other parents who happen to be women and looking in their direction as is generally considered to be polite.


Yes of course the OP must mean something other than what she said because she's just a jealous hysterical woman!
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2021 20:55     Subject: Uncomfortable in a bikini
Anonymous wrote:I'm an American girl born and raised with what is considered to be a bikini body-and I don't wear bikinis. I don't feel comfortable in them. I usually wear a 1 piece with a long wrap around them or even shorts and a shirt.


You wear what you're comfortable in.

Also, your DH is gross for leering at and flirting with women when he's supposed to be enjoying the day with his wife and kids.


To be fair, she said he was chatting and looking at them while wearing sunglasses… which could just mean talking to other parents who happen to be women and looking in their direction as is generally considered to be polite.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2021 20:53     Subject: Uncomfortable in a bikini
OP you sound like you have a lot of issues. Both your body insecurity and insecurity in regards to your DH.

You can’t go to the pool because you don’t want to be around men?? Sorry, but that is your problem, not your DHs. Wear whatever you want to the pool. No one cares. Your DH is likely just being social at the pool, not creepy and leering. But your insecurities make your think it is because someone is in a bikini is the reason he is talking to them. Likely not. There are probably just a lot more moms than dads at the pool.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2021 20:38     Subject: Uncomfortable in a bikini
Anonymous wrote:Wear boy shots and a long sleeve rash guard. Comfy and appropriate. Don’t miss out on the fun.


I see many early 20s women of all shapes and sizes with this look.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2021 19:34     Subject: Uncomfortable in a bikini
OP - have you talked to your DH about this? Is he encouraging you to wear a bathing suit or to stay covered?
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2021 19:25     Subject: Uncomfortable in a bikini
Wear boy shots and a long sleeve rash guard. Comfy and appropriate. Don’t miss out on the fun.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2021 19:23     Subject: Uncomfortable in a bikini
Anonymous wrote:I come from a different culture where we are not used to wearing a bikini. We live in a community with a pool that is the focal point of all kids and social activities. So I let DH take the kids to the pool and for anything pool related. This weekend I ended up going along with DH and I got really jealous of the way DH was chatting with other women in bikinis. I can sense he is checking them out although with sunglasses it is all hidden.

I know I am in an impossible situation where I cannot take the kids because I am uncomfortable and find myself with envy at the way DH chats with other women when he takes them.

I am in good shape so it is not my weight or looks. Even with more modest swimwear it is really uncomfortable for me when men are around. I guess I am just venting but does it get more comfortable as you wear a bikini over time? Do other women find it uncomfortable at first and slowly get used to it? Or are you at ease right from the beginning?



Sure I do not believe you. It seem your post is just the hit parade of DCUM - oppressed women, husband looking at other women in Bikinis...oh and the kids!
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2021 19:21     Subject: Re:Uncomfortable in a bikini
Anonymous wrote:I think you should wear what you are comfortable in, not what you think you "should" wear. If you prefer a one-piece bathing suit or a tankini, then wear that.

I have never been comfortable in a bikini, even when I had the body to wear one (I don't now), so I've never worn one.


I'm the same, and I'm not from a super conservative family or area. I just don't like wearing such little clothing, and I hate feeling like I ever have to tug things into place or adjust straps or whatever. I didn't necessarily worry about my DH looking at women in skimpy bikinis, but I know he likes seeing me in one and I felt pressure to do it. But around the time I had a kid, I just decided the most important thing was me feeling important and I just bought what I wanted. I like one pieces and I often just wear a cover up a lot of the time so I don't have to stress about sun exposure. The pool is not where I want to worry about being sexy. I'd prefer to save that for date night or at home, where I can wear something revealing and not feel so much like I'm on display.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2021 19:19     Subject: Uncomfortable in a bikini
Your husband's behavior isn't going to change even if you wore the most revealing bikini possible.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2021 19:04     Subject: Uncomfortable in a bikini
What about bottoms like this https://athleta.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=3840290920003&cid=1035427&pcid=1035426&vid=1&nav=hamnav%3AActivity%3AACTIVITIES%3ASwim%2C+SUP+%26+Surf#pdp-page-content

And a top like this https://athleta.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=657805002&cid=1153190&pcid=1035426&vid=1&nav=hamnav%3AActivity%3AACTIVITIES%3ASwim%2C%20SUP%20%26%20Surf#pdp-page-content
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2021 19:01     Subject: Uncomfortable in a bikini
OP, my parents are from a modest south Asian culture and my mom slowly got used to swimsuits (though never bikinis!). I wear them and am comfortable, but a married a European who is on another level and has taken me to naked spas in Europe -- coed and completely nude and non sexual. I didn't feel comfortable and couldn't imagine how everyone was just going with the flow! So I think there is a spectrum and honestly that the US is in the middle of it.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2021 18:59     Subject: Uncomfortable in a bikini
Wear whatever you want. I never liked wearing bikinis -- I find them impractical and not that comfortable. I'd much rather wear a nice, elegant one-piece.