^ DD, of course

This is OP. This is 100% coming from my daughter. On a college tour the guide pointed to a house and said it was substance-free. The first words out of my DS’s mouth after the tour was that she wanted to try that.

This has made me think back to my regular floor at my nerd school and how almost every weekend there was vomit in the hallway and very loud partying starting at 8 on Thursday. My daughter is friendly and social but would rather avoid some of that stuff, if possible.

OP

Public University quiet floors are worse than the other floors.

Basically, parents sign kids up then the alcohol and drugs flow freely.

Bad idea.

Just have her do a traditional dorm there are plenty of kids who do not partake, plenty. My kids had no issues at all making friends with peers like themselves nondrinkers.

Should be up to your daughter; think the advantage of these dorms is that there is less partying in the dorm so people can sleep / study during the week. Some freshmen go crazy their first year.

A quiet dorm will probably get you what you want without having to go to the extreme of substance-free. My now-husband was in the dorm with quiet hours and most of the other kids were maybe light social drinkers but it wasn't the party crowd. He went to my dorm for that when needed

Interesting. My DD has good social skills but is an extreme introvert. And, she has a sensory processing disorder that makes makes her extremely sensitive to noise. (But does not have HFA). She is looking at the quiet floor.

And Kid 2 just prefers not to be around alcohol. DH and I are very light social drinkers and he has been allowed to have a drink at home since turning 18, but has chosen not to. He has no interest in drinking. He signed up for the substance free dorm at his college on his own initiative. Just doesn’t want drunk people screaming in the hallways.

I hope they get what they want in a living situation. This thread has me concerned.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. If someone gave me the choice of living in a 'quiet' home or living in a 'noisy' one. I would choose 'quiet', especially if I am studying all the time.

Some people want to live in a dorm to be lively and and center of their social life and choose to study in the library. Others study in their dorm and go elsewhere to socialize. Both are reasonable choices.

I love the on high tone of your last sentence. Do you always speak as if you are the arbiter of what is acceptable?

NP here. This is a written message board. I sensed no tone at all on the pp, and especially not a “high tone.”
You doing ok today?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. If someone gave me the choice of living in a 'quiet' home or living in a 'noisy' one. I would choose 'quiet', especially if I am studying all the time.

Some people want to live in a dorm to be lively and and center of their social life and choose to study in the library. Others study in their dorm and go elsewhere to socialize. Both are reasonable choices.

I love the on high tone of your last sentence. Do you always speak as if you are the arbiter of what is acceptable?

I would say that it’s more important to make sure to choose a roommate that matches your preferences in this regard than worry about the whole floor of the dorm.

Anonymous wrote:Wow. If someone gave me the choice of living in a 'quiet' home or living in a 'noisy' one. I would choose 'quiet', especially if I am studying all the time.

Some people want to live in a dorm to be lively and and center of their social life and choose to study in the library. Others study in their dorm and go elsewhere to socialize. Both are reasonable choices.

This should be 100% up to your daughter with no input from you. Substance-free/quiet floor dorms work when the students make the selection themselves and choose to be there, but are total failures when parents place their kids there.

My university actually sent a letter to parents telling them to stay out of the dorm selection process. Just give the paperwork to your daughter and walk away.

Wow. If someone gave me the choice of living in a 'quiet' home or living in a 'noisy' one. I would choose 'quiet', especially if I am studying all the time.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter lived in a substance free dorm in Tulane, because she doesn’t drink and didn’t want to be around lots of drinking and partying. I could smell pot in the dorm and her roommate frequently came home drunk and puking.

It’s Tulane. There are some schools that you just shouldn’t attend if partying bothers you. Tulane is at the top of that list.

If your kid does drink, I’d be worried that those dorms would have more narcs than regular dorms. That was certainly the case years ago

I'd suggest living in whatever dorm she is assigned. Then if she doesn't want to party, she should see who is still at home on Friday night at 10pm. Sit in the common area with a book or her laptop and see who walks by to the bathroom. Make friends.

I think trying to control friend selection through dorm selection is tricky. Like PP's said, the other people living in the substance free dorm may not be there by choice.

Cultivating the friends she wants to make will ultimately be up to her. All the dorms at my school were "dry". There was no sanctioned drinking on campus. It still happened PLENTY.