Anonymous wrote:Talk to him about dividing household duties better. I’m a runner and sometimes spend 2 hours or even more on weekends but I always ran before anyone in the house got up so as not to interfere with family time and chores.

This.

Yes, you are justified in being annoyed. But, you should go talk to him in the most reasonable manner you can. My husband has a similar way of exercising — between the actual work out, the prep and the stretching, it takes what seems like an insane amount of time to me. I’ve dropped my annoyance about the amount of time and focused more on when it actually makes sense to do this. My husband does this mostly during the workday or at times we have a sitter. This means it is more like 4 days a week not 7. And occasionally if he hasn’t been able to do it during a time that makes sense, I am cool if he does it in a time that is less than ideal. He also knows to confirm with me that it is ok if he is doing it during a less than ideal time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You really can't deal with your kids on your own for 2-4 hrs at a time?

It’s not that I can’t . The question is why should I have to?

It sounds like your husband has a pretty sweet deal. He doesn’t work very much and when there’s childcare, he just has to go for a run. Why don’t you go for a bedtime walk tonight?

Hate to say it, but my impression is he’s cheating. Who sits at their computer to plan runs? And what is he doing all day? Then he’s stepping out at night?

He may be feeling overwhelmed that his work is down, you apparently are the breadwinner, and you have another baby on the way. He likely wants to escape the responsibilities and inadequacies of his life. An affair is a non productive, dead end way to do that. I don’t know what’s worse in these situations - the cheating, the persistent lying, or finally realizing your man isn’t a man at all (and that you are both the woman and the man in the relationship).

You sound reasonably annoyed. 2 hours at a time is a lot. I don't doubt the need for it - yes, planning the run, running, cooling down, strength training, then showering can take 2 hours, even if the run is just 40 minutes.

But, he should be doing this during the day when nobody else is around, or do all the cleaning and cooking of dinner ahead of time for the rest of you early between work bits so you aren't the sole cleaner/cooker/adult doing everything when he's out at night.

It is important to exercise when it works for you, and when you are motivated to do it - so night works for him. But he needs to make your night easier if he's going to do that.

So you have to talk with him. And make sure YOU also get that 100% you time to exercise or whatever, no kids, no distractions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 hours a day is for idiots that don’t know what they’re doing. That or professional athletes with top tier coaching staff. Tell him to stop being an idiot.

I’m a CPT. And that’s just not true. Two hours is perfectly reasonable for someone serious about their fitness. People who think their little one hour workouts are enough don’t understand what it means to truly train. OP, I agree. He needs to be more sensitive to family responsibilities. Can he work out early in the morning? I’m in the gym by about 5am. I hate it. But I need the time snd early mornings are the easiest time for me.

Yeah, but when you have 2 kids, 1 on the way and your spouse is a doctor, you don’t get to be that serious about your fitness. One hour max and you do it during your slow workday. Or when the kids are asleep.

Anonymous wrote:2 hours a day is for idiots that don’t know what they’re doing. That or professional athletes with top tier coaching staff. Tell him to stop being an idiot.

I’m a CPT. And that’s just not true. Two hours is perfectly reasonable for someone serious about their fitness. People who think their little one hour workouts are enough don’t understand what it means to truly train. OP, I agree. He needs to be more sensitive to family responsibilities. Can he work out early in the morning? I’m in the gym by about 5am. I hate it. But I need the time snd early mornings are the easiest time for me.

He's cheating on you, duh. Or do you really think he's working out then taking a shower?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You really can't deal with your kids on your own for 2-4 hrs at a time?

It’s not that I can’t . The question is why should I have to?

I’m with the op. Her kids are gone all day. His workload is slow. Pregnant physician op is on her feet all day long and when she gets home she has to cook and clean and be on top of the 2 kids and he disappears when the kid haven’t been home all day anyway?

My suggestion is to sit down and outline all the things that need to get done. Talk about streamlining things so when baby comes nobody has to nag anyone else. Join Instacart so you don’t have to shop. Hire someone to clean if you can. Then split the rest up. Because 2 hours of alone time every day is GOLD and you each should get the same amount if possible. I have a physician spouse who is gone a lot and is exhausted when they get home.

He should get to workout as much as he wants, but you need to negotiate on the child care hours. Don’t make it about the workout time. Just decide how you’re going to split the bedtime hours (either rotate days or team). He can run after bedtime on those days or during the day, that’s his business.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You really can't deal with your kids on your own for 2-4 hrs at a time?

It’s not that I can’t . The question is why should I have to?

But also, it sounds like he was taking care of the kids all day while you worked, then you came home from work and went for a run? It's possible you have been taking advantage of him all this time. If you're at work all day, you should spend 2 hours with your kids.

What time does he leave for his run? I would think the mornings would be a cooler temp to run in.

Anonymous wrote:Affair? This board is full of threads where the errant spouse claimed to be working out.

One hour of working out and one hour sleeping with his mistress. No denying it…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You really can't deal with your kids on your own for 2-4 hrs at a time?

It’s not that I can’t . The question is why should I have to?

Anonymous wrote:You really can't deal with your kids on your own for 2-4 hrs at a time?