Anonymous
Post 06/24/2021 16:16     Subject: Re:What behavior caused you to spank?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Older child bit the younger child. One hard whack with the belt on the behind sent a strong and clear message to the brain: that is completely wrong. After the spanking, biting never happened again. I would say a spanking is as effective as 500 time outs with whining & pleading to be a good child and behave.

Whack! It works, has worked for thousands of years to correct a child. I have actually had people come up to me and marvel how well behaved my children are. I joke and tell them they are afraid of getting beaten half to death so they know to behave.


I bet you also smack your kids while saying "Don't smack your younger sibling!"


No, I have never smacked my children in the face. And my children know you do not hit the face because of the danger to the eyes and nose which are easily injured. Smacking is more of an insult than instilling discipline and I would not do that. I have only spanked on the behind, either with open hand or a belt, and only 1 whack to get the message across or to disrupt a trajectory that will cause harm or damage to someone or some thing.

Spanking with repeated hard blows so that it becomes a beating departs from correction and becomes abuse. Spanking is a form of discipline. For us, it has worked. I have not had to spank them in years because early on they knew I meant business when i told them not to do something. Now when I tell them, "You are not to do this" they obey, because they know I don't spank without logical cause, and they know what goes along with willful disobedience. Pavlov would be proud of me.

It is called "Setting Boundaries" so that children know what is right and what is wrong because they do not know, they have to be taught. Children who grow up without boundaries are the kind who think they can just shoot someone and take their shoes, or go into a store and take what they want off the shelf without paying.





Many people are perfectly capable of "setting boundaries" without spanking their children. The fact that you can't think of an alternate method to discipline your child in various circumstances is ridiculous.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2021 13:19     Subject: What behavior caused you to spank?
Anonymous wrote:Who are you people? Both DH and I were spanked as children and we didn’t grow up to be violent adults with self worth issues. We’re still close to our parents too.

Such conviction about spanking being physical abuse, but I never hear about the emotional and psychological abuse that children endure, which is likely far more damaging in the long run. Judging by the mean, nasty posts I frequently read on DCUM…


I was spanked as a child. I didn't grow up to be violent or have self worth issues. I'm ... medium with my parents, for reasons other than their spanking. But I refused to spank my kids. We don't hit adults when they behave badly. "Melissa, you were supposed to refill the copier and didn't, even after you were told it's one of your duties and I reminded you twice. Now bend over!" No, of course not.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2021 13:12     Subject: What behavior caused you to spank?
Anonymous wrote:Who are you people? Both DH and I were spanked as children and we didn’t grow up to be violent adults with self worth issues. We’re still close to our parents too.

Such conviction about spanking being physical abuse, but I never hear about the emotional and psychological abuse that children endure, which is likely far more damaging in the long run. Judging by the mean, nasty posts I frequently read on DCUM…


I don't hate my parents.l and I don't have issues. But I do know that being spanked and hit as punishment as a kid probably resulted in me hitting my younger sister. As an adult I feel awful that I was so hard on her.

I've also read the science here and it's pretty clear that corporal punishment does not work and increases violent behavior.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2021 12:03     Subject: What behavior caused you to spank?
OP's particular example sounds weird to me. I think if a 4 yo is repeatedly disobeying like that, other issues are at play? In my very limited experience/knowledge.

I was thinking of yesterday of spanking my 2 yo son because he keeps running into the street after balls, and I've read that that's one of the only situations you should spank. I decided instead to just put all our balls in the backyard for now instead of the driveway. I was afraid that if I spanked him he would start hitting other kids and wouldn't understand why I could hit him but he can't hit other people.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2021 12:00     Subject: Re:What behavior caused you to spank?
We don't spank. I got spanked and then slapped/grabed/had things thrown at me as a teenager. I learned a lot of it was about my parent's not being able to control their anger/misplacing anger on me. I did not learn anything about my behavior.

Try correcting with words. Those work well.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2021 07:00     Subject: What behavior caused you to spank?
Who are you people? Both DH and I were spanked as children and we didn’t grow up to be violent adults with self worth issues. We’re still close to our parents too.

Such conviction about spanking being physical abuse, but I never hear about the emotional and psychological abuse that children endure, which is likely far more damaging in the long run. Judging by the mean, nasty posts I frequently read on DCUM…
Anonymous
Post 06/23/2021 12:46     Subject: What behavior caused you to spank?
I did it when DS ran into traffic but then I read that it isn’t even useful for that, and in fact he did it again even after I spanked him. A leash on a cute backpack was much better.
Anonymous
Post 06/23/2021 12:45     Subject: What behavior caused you to spank?
Things that could hurt DC, like running into traffic. It’s only happened twice that I can think of.
Anonymous
Post 06/23/2021 12:41     Subject: Re:What behavior caused you to spank?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Older child bit the younger child. One hard whack with the belt on the behind sent a strong and clear message to the brain: that is completely wrong. After the spanking, biting never happened again. I would say a spanking is as effective as 500 time outs with whining & pleading to be a good child and behave.

Whack! It works, has worked for thousands of years to correct a child. I have actually had people come up to me and marvel how well behaved my children are. I joke and tell them they are afraid of getting beaten half to death so they know to behave.


I bet you also smack your kids while saying "Don't smack your younger sibling!"


No, I have never smacked my children in the face. And my children know you do not hit the face because of the danger to the eyes and nose which are easily injured. Smacking is more of an insult than instilling discipline and I would not do that. I have only spanked on the behind, either with open hand or a belt, and only 1 whack to get the message across or to disrupt a trajectory that will cause harm or damage to someone or some thing.

Spanking with repeated hard blows so that it becomes a beating departs from correction and becomes abuse. Spanking is a form of discipline. For us, it has worked. I have not had to spank them in years because early on they knew I meant business when i told them not to do something. Now when I tell them, "You are not to do this" they obey, because they know I don't spank without logical cause, and they know what goes along with willful disobedience. Pavlov would be proud of me.

It is called "Setting Boundaries" so that children know what is right and what is wrong because they do not know, they have to be taught. Children who grow up without boundaries are the kind who think they can just shoot someone and take their shoes, or go into a store and take what they want off the shelf without paying.



Anonymous
Post 06/23/2021 12:29     Subject: Re:What behavior caused you to spank?
So far I've managed not to hit my children (on purpose).

The one time I sorta did, my then 2 year old came up from behind me and bit my hand. Hard. I instinctively brushed my hand away hard and ended up kind of knocking my 2 year old to the side.

It wasn't hard and he wasn't hurt, but it's definitely not something I would have done intentionally.

That was the one and only surprise bite attack...
Anonymous
Post 06/23/2021 12:13     Subject: Re:What behavior caused you to spank?
Anonymous wrote:Older child bit the younger child. One hard whack with the belt on the behind sent a strong and clear message to the brain: that is completely wrong. After the spanking, biting never happened again. I would say a spanking is as effective as 500 time outs with whining & pleading to be a good child and behave.

Whack! It works, has worked for thousands of years to correct a child. I have actually had people come up to me and marvel how well behaved my children are. I joke and tell them they are afraid of getting beaten half to death so they know to behave.


I bet you also smack your kids while saying "Don't smack your younger sibling!"
Anonymous
Post 06/23/2021 11:38     Subject: Re:What behavior caused you to spank?
I had a 6 yo who was still hitting other kids to get her way. We'd never ever hit her, but had tried everything else for years to stop the behavior, but nothing was helping. I finally told her that if she hit other kids, I was going to hit her back. As a very literal kid with limited ability to empathize, she needed a real consequence. It mostly stopped what had been a constant issue.
Anonymous
Post 06/23/2021 10:41     Subject: What behavior caused you to spank?
I have never spanked and my kids are past the age where it could be used as discipline. I am glad I never spanked, but I also never had kids who did anything very dangerous repeatedly. So I try not to judge. But I really hate spanking.
Anonymous
Post 06/23/2021 10:40     Subject: What behavior caused you to spank?
Hitting might work for some kids in terms of fear. But for others, it won’t. Then their parents will hit them again. Harder. And the cycle will continue. Then it evolves into abuse.

I’m not talking about a swat for running into the road. But let’s not kid ourselves where the overall road of hitting your kid leads. That’s why it’s not recommended.
Anonymous
Post 06/23/2021 10:39     Subject: Re:What behavior caused you to spank?
Anonymous wrote:Older child bit the younger child. One hard whack with the belt on the behind sent a strong and clear message to the brain: that is completely wrong. After the spanking, biting never happened again. I would say a spanking is as effective as 500 time outs with whining & pleading to be a good child and behave.

Whack! It works, has worked for thousands of years to correct a child. I have actually had people come up to me and marvel how well behaved my children are. I joke and tell them they are afraid of getting beaten half to death so they know to behave.


Yes, it has worked to supress emotions in the moment but create rage and self worth issues. That's why the world looks the way it does today with mass shootings and suicides. I truly believe how we get treated in childhood by those who are supposed to be our protectors has the biggest influence on how we turn out as adults. I bet you were spanked too. It. so. worked.