Anonymous wrote:She does have to watch out for people, including predatory men, treating her as older than her age because they assume being taller=being older.

This is an excellent point. I have seen a college guy mistake a barely-into-puberty seventh grader for a college freshman, solely because she was tall.
You really have to keep an eye on who she’s around.

The best thing my dad did for me was buy me all the cute flats I wanted! Otherwise, say nothing. I was so awkward and uncomfortable and now my height is my favorite feature.

- 5’10” woman

She does have to watch out for people, including predatory men, treating her as older than her age because they assume being taller=being older.

I’m 5’11 and was taller then all the boys in middle school. I played sports so I appreciated my height since it was an advantage in basketball, volleyball and track. I had a hard time feeling comfortable around boys my age which followed me through college. Luckily, after college, I really grew into myself and absolutely love it now. I would make sure to build up her confidence, make sure she has good posture, and get her involved in a group or individual sport that she continues through high school.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 5' 10" in middle school. She is brilliant and is very athletic. She is now six inches taller than her mom and is starting to become self-conscious about it. I've passed on as much dad wisdom that I've been able to (she can change a tire and filet a fish) but I don't know how to approach this issue. And I don't want complicate things by heading in the wrong direction. She is a confident kid, but I'm seeing that start to waiver with a bit of self-doubt. I'm wondering if saying nothing might be the best path. I just want her to be happy in her skin.

Thanks for any input

My son was the same height in middle school and he was very self-conscious of his height then as most boys were still small. It got better once he started High School and "blended" there a lot better.

Tell her to keep her shoulders and head high!

DD is 12 and 5'9" and she loves it because so many people ogle her about her height. I'm 5'8" and my whole life I wished I was taller. Never had problem finding tall men. DD doesn't mind being tall because people constantly tell her she looks like a model, I think. That never hurts. She's also a highly skilled basketball and lacrosse player so she knows how to use her gift.

Anonymous wrote:Im serious as PP about geographic arbitrage, have lived in various US cities and heights are SO different. Please do not have her go to Philly, as a 5'7" woman I had trouble dating-esp college educated men, tall guys were 5 8 LOL, Seattle very tall males/females, agree with MN.
----
My daughters turned out shortish--predicted 5'7" but had early normal puberty and only 5 2/5 3...always complain about it,,bottom line as long as you have good self esteem, good body image, decent weight without fluctuations you will be happy and attract happy healthy friends and dating partners...not everyone will be into everyone...and thats normal.

+1. Too many short Italian genes floating around in Philly.

My daughter, a rising college junior and varsity athlete, is 5'11". I'm 5'2" and I can remember asking her a few years back whether she ever got tired of people commenting on how tall she is. She just laughed and said, "Why would I?" Although I know her height was intimidating to some of her HS classmates and she never had a serious romantic relationship until college, she's always had a lovely and supportive group of friends and she now has a serious boyfriend. He's a great guy, also a college athlete, and 6'4".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely get her involved in a sport where her height is an advantage (Swim, volleyball, basketball, even lacrosse) and the confidence will come. Never make her think she has to date only men taller than she is. You'd think this would go without saying, in a world where plenty of people are trans, there is the entire LQBTQ, but in straight life there is still a tremendous stigma against a tall woman. Make sure she always wears high heels if the outfit calls for it and remembers that a good partner in life has nothing to do with height.

Only on DCUM. I’m a 5’10” woman with a tall mother and sister and lots of tall friends and have seriously never experienced nor heard about any stigma outside of this place, where women are hell bent on tearing each other apart. If anything, short women have told me repeatedly throughout life how much they wished they were tall.

I a 6’0. I had a boyfriend that was self conscious about my height, but I dumped him. I had a guy tell me that he couldn’t sleep with tall women because it was liking sleeping with a guy. I had a male coworker (lawyer) tell me I was scary and could probably kick his ass because I am tall.

That’s all about men being insecure about their manhood. It’s a handy weed out for men who have toxic manhood.

I would've said, "Damn straight so don't F* with me". But, I'm only 4'11".

My kids have the opposite problem. They are small and late bloomers. The HSer looks like a MSr and the MSer still look like an ES kid.

Im serious as PP about geographic arbitrage, have lived in various US cities and heights are SO different. Please do not have her go to Philly, as a 5'7" woman I had trouble dating-esp college educated men, tall guys were 5 8 LOL, Seattle very tall males/females, agree with MN.
----
My daughters turned out shortish--predicted 5'7" but had early normal puberty and only 5 2/5 3...always complain about it,,bottom line as long as you have good self esteem, good body image, decent weight without fluctuations you will be happy and attract happy healthy friends and dating partners...not everyone will be into everyone...and thats normal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get her on a volleyball team! She'll be the star.

That was my sport, but she's got a wicked fastball Thanks for the support.

Sports are great for all kids. Also, help her find other activities she enjoys. When they're having fun, they don't think about height.

I'm a 5'0" mom of a 12 year old who's 5'2 and growing. She loves volleyball and basketball, and I really hope she'll be able to play one or both after middle school. Her dad's also short, so I'm thinking she's got 2-3 inches more max.

Height is an advantage in the US!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely get her involved in a sport where her height is an advantage (Swim, volleyball, basketball, even lacrosse) and the confidence will come. Never make her think she has to date only men taller than she is. You'd think this would go without saying, in a world where plenty of people are trans, there is the entire LQBTQ, but in straight life there is still a tremendous stigma against a tall woman. Make sure she always wears high heels if the outfit calls for it and remembers that a good partner in life has nothing to do with height.

Only on DCUM. I’m a 5’10” woman with a tall mother and sister and lots of tall friends and have seriously never experienced nor heard about any stigma outside of this place, where women are hell bent on tearing each other apart. If anything, short women have told me repeatedly throughout life how much they wished they were tall.

Seriously. I'm 5'7 and I'd LOVE to be 5'10''. You look great in flats, any clothes, you can gain 15 lbs and nobody can tell. There's a reason models are tall. DC area has super short people. If you go up North, in MN for example, people are taller. Even Alabama has taller men.

Anonymous wrote:Get her on a volleyball team! She'll be the star.

That was my sport, but she's got a wicked fastball Thanks for the support.

Anonymous wrote:If she was short, she'd want to be tall, since she's tall, she wants to be short. It's a classic age for the grass is greener when it comes to body image. I'd mostly let that run its course.

If you feel like you want to intervene, you could mention that tall people get paid more.
https://www.apa.org/monitor/julaug04/standing#:~:text=The%20findings%20suggest%20that%20someone,found%20by%20psychologist%20Timothy%20A.

Let her take an advance on that cash and buy clothes that make her feel great.

- 5'9" woman

+1 mom of one short and one tall DD

Get her on a volleyball team! She'll be the star.