Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow! What kind of parenting is happening that a 13 yr old has the balls to be so disrespectful?

Sorry. This is the kid you raised. This is directly the result of how much effort you put in the parenting from 0-13.

Go away.

Anonymous wrote:Wow! What kind of parenting is happening that a 13 yr old has the balls to be so disrespectful?

Sorry. This is the kid you raised. This is directly the result of how much effort you put in the parenting from 0-13.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you should also dress exactly as she dresses. Tell her that you admire her style and want to twin with her. You can bet that she will straighten out in 5 minutes.

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the premise the society pressures women and girls to cover up. In my experience over almost 50 years, society pressures young women and teen girls to display their bodies. Boys never walk around with their bellies on display or their ass cheeks hanging out. Why? Because it’s generally not comfortable and they don’t feel the need to display their bodies in order to garner positive attention. Putting aside things like girls going run a run or out on a very hot day, I think it’s indisputable that most girls are doing this either to attract the male gaze or to satisfy some societal expectation of what is feminine or in. (Note all the threads on this site about women looking dowdy or like an old lady if they wear bathing suits that cover their ass or their stomach.)

Anonymous wrote:Wow! What kind of parenting is happening that a 13 yr old has the balls to be so disrespectful?

Sorry. This is the kid you raised. This is directly the result of how much effort you put in the parenting from 0-13.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is beautiful and has a lovely figure (she is a dancer and swimmer). I feel like the shorts and crop tops look trashy honestly. I would never say this to her. I say things like "too revealing" or "too mature." I bought a couple of "tasteful" crop tops at the beginning of the season at her begging and hoping that that would shut her up. It didn't and she has since bought several more at Target with her own money. After purchasing yet another couple today at Target with friends, I told her "I think that's enough crop tops." She was horribly offended and stormed upstairs.

Its her money correct? Then you dont really have a say. You are making a fight about her independence and thats going to go sideways. She is buying crop tops not mushrooms.

She knows you think they look trashy because you are saying too revealing and too mature. You need to start to have REAL and HONEST conversations with your daughter about the balances that females have to make. If she is a dancer or swimmer she has already been in skintight revealing outfits, so there is hypocrisy at play here. Its not her body its the clothes but you are also saying the clothes are how she is being judged. These are really NUANCED conversations that are important to have. I mean you can talk about how the world wants women to cover up and its ingrained and how some people think that the way someone dresses reflects how they should be treated. There is some truth to that. Just as there are trashier outfits there are power outfits. No one deserves to be treated poorly because of the way they dress but it happens- she needs to be aware of things she CAN control and the things she cant control are other peoples reactions to her. She may like that she is looked at and desired. You see her as 13- her brain is not fully developed but the body develops faster than our brains do. Her body signals reproduction if she has breasts and hips, which is sexual.
Look at the school in FL that took the yearbook photos and covered up girls who had ANY amount of cleavage showing. https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/25/us/florida-yearbook-photos-altered-trnd/index.html

You make a lot of good points but you are delusional if you don’t think a parent has a say over a 13 year old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is beautiful and has a lovely figure (she is a dancer and swimmer). I feel like the shorts and crop tops look trashy honestly. I would never say this to her. I say things like "too revealing" or "too mature." I bought a couple of "tasteful" crop tops at the beginning of the season at her begging and hoping that that would shut her up. It didn't and she has since bought several more at Target with her own money. After purchasing yet another couple today at Target with friends, I told her "I think that's enough crop tops." She was horribly offended and stormed upstairs.

Its her money correct? Then you dont really have a say. You are making a fight about her independence and thats going to go sideways. She is buying crop tops not mushrooms.

She knows you think they look trashy because you are saying too revealing and too mature. You need to start to have REAL and HONEST conversations with your daughter about the balances that females have to make. If she is a dancer or swimmer she has already been in skintight revealing outfits, so there is hypocrisy at play here. Its not her body its the clothes but you are also saying the clothes are how she is being judged. These are really NUANCED conversations that are important to have. I mean you can talk about how the world wants women to cover up and its ingrained and how some people think that the way someone dresses reflects how they should be treated. There is some truth to that. Just as there are trashier outfits there are power outfits. No one deserves to be treated poorly because of the way they dress but it happens- she needs to be aware of things she CAN control and the things she cant control are other peoples reactions to her. She may like that she is looked at and desired. You see her as 13- her brain is not fully developed but the body develops faster than our brains do. Her body signals reproduction if she has breasts and hips, which is sexual.
Look at the school in FL that took the yearbook photos and covered up girls who had ANY amount of cleavage showing. https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/25/us/florida-yearbook-photos-altered-trnd/index.html

You make a lot of good points but you are delusional if you don’t think a parent has a say over a 13 year old.

Anonymous wrote:She is dressing trashy. And stomps off when it is pointed out. Disrespectful.

Getting good grades is a normal expectation from all kids. This is not something worth getting a nobel prize for. And it does not absolve her of disrespectful behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is beautiful and has a lovely figure (she is a dancer and swimmer). I feel like the shorts and crop tops look trashy honestly. I would never say this to her. I say things like "too revealing" or "too mature." I bought a couple of "tasteful" crop tops at the beginning of the season at her begging and hoping that that would shut her up. It didn't and she has since bought several more at Target with her own money. After purchasing yet another couple today at Target with friends, I told her "I think that's enough crop tops." She was horribly offended and stormed upstairs.

Its her money correct? Then you dont really have a say. You are making a fight about her independence and thats going to go sideways. She is buying crop tops not mushrooms.

She knows you think they look trashy because you are saying too revealing and too mature. You need to start to have REAL and HONEST conversations with your daughter about the balances that females have to make. If she is a dancer or swimmer she has already been in skintight revealing outfits, so there is hypocrisy at play here. Its not her body its the clothes but you are also saying the clothes are how she is being judged. These are really NUANCED conversations that are important to have. I mean you can talk about how the world wants women to cover up and its ingrained and how some people think that the way someone dresses reflects how they should be treated. There is some truth to that. Just as there are trashier outfits there are power outfits. No one deserves to be treated poorly because of the way they dress but it happens- she needs to be aware of things she CAN control and the things she cant control are other peoples reactions to her. She may like that she is looked at and desired. You see her as 13- her brain is not fully developed but the body develops faster than our brains do. Her body signals reproduction if she has breasts and hips, which is sexual.
Look at the school in FL that took the yearbook photos and covered up girls who had ANY amount of cleavage showing. https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/25/us/florida-yearbook-photos-altered-trnd/index.html

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is beautiful and has a lovely figure (she is a dancer and swimmer). I feel like the shorts and crop tops look trashy honestly. I would never say this to her. I say things like "too revealing" or "too mature." I bought a couple of "tasteful" crop tops at the beginning of the season at her begging and hoping that that would shut her up. It didn't and she has since bought several more at Target with her own money. After purchasing yet another couple today at Target with friends, I told her "I think that's enough crop tops." She was horribly offended and stormed upstairs.