This reminds me of a study I read about many years ago. Parents were asked if they would rather:

1) Have a kid who got a B+ education while most kids got a C- education

or

2) Everyone get an A+ education

Most people chose #2, but about a third did choose #1!

I think of this often while reading the MCPS forum.

Anonymous wrote:So many liars on this thread.

There's no reason to believe that people aren't telling the truth here.

So many liars on this thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I want them to become their peers bosses. I want them to be among the best.

Why?

Because when I look at my kid, and then look at a kid in my kid's class who is picking his nose and flicking it, and gets 70's on all his tests, I think she's better than him and don't want them to be equals.

Wow. With that kind of attitude, I feel sorry for your kid. Truly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I want them to become their peers bosses. I want them to be among the best.

Why?

Because when I look at my kid, and then look at a kid in my kid's class who is picking his nose and flicking it, and gets 70's on all his tests, I think she's better than him and don't want them to be equals.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a silly question. Being successful has a greater chance of achieving and maintaining happiness. Being unsuccessful has a greater chance of being unhappy and depressed. Simple math.

Of course everyone wants their kid to be successful. Did you read the question?

*read the whole question

Anonymous wrote:What a silly question. Being successful has a greater chance of achieving and maintaining happiness. Being unsuccessful has a greater chance of being unhappy and depressed. Simple math.

Of course everyone wants their kid to be successful. Did you read the question?

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I want them to become their peers bosses. I want them to be among the best.

Why?

Yes, I guess. Isn’t that what grades are? Determining who is more successful in school? And class rank? And SAT scores? Isn’t success being on the winning team?

When they’re all adults (you kid and mine) there may be one job or spot in graduate school that both our kids want - so yeah, I want my kid to get it and, this, be more successful in that endeavor than yours.

More successful? No. Equally successful? Yes.

Anonymous wrote:What a silly question. Being successful has a greater chance of achieving and maintaining happiness. Being unsuccessful has a greater chance of being unhappy and depressed. Simple math.

This doesn't answer the question.

What a DCUM question.

As a kid who was very VERY pressured by my parents (I also acted out because of this) to get these grades, go to these schools, only study such subjects, etc. I don't care as long as my child tries their best, and is happy, and is kind to others. I have gotten past the anger and low self-esteem from the pressure from my parents, but for many years, it was bad. To this day, my parents don't see anything wrong, despite how damaging it was, mentally.

And no amount of pushing will get them to the level of success you want for them...without a catch.

It’s not a pie, OP. I can want my kids to be successful and also want other kids to be successful. My kids are young adults. They learned a long time ago the importance of lifting others up.

I want them to be healthy, kind, independent, happy and with the right tools/education to never seriously worry about money.

I don't really think that much about other kids and no, I don't compare my kids to them.

I want my kids to be happy, loving, able to support themselves and their families, and positive contributors to society. I would like the same for other people’s children and others’ success is not mutually exclusive to my kids’ success. If I’m being honest, however, I have one exception which is a nephew that is not “successful” and I’m secretly delighted that my kids are doing better because I have such conflict with the parent of the kid.