Have your kids been evaluated for special needs? Beyond that this is absolutely a problem with your husband. He needs to shape up. The kids don't listen to you because he doesn't listen to you.

OK, just read that your DH is undermining you. You guys need to get on the same page, or he could be the default parent and clean up after the kids all the time.

Have you considered family counseling? You and dh need to get on the same page because you cannot continue in the current situation. Also, their disrespectful behavior will likely only get worse as they enter teen years and if you think you're miserable now, just wait. I'm sorry and wish you the best.

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. I took DD in for an appointment a month ago about the peeing at school. He asked a number of questions and then said she was just so excited to be in person, it sounded like she didn't want to take breaks to use the restroom. The younger one is usually playing and doesn't want to stop to use the restroom.

DH is in the picture but is very lenient with the kids. If they want to eat at bedtime, he lets them. If they don't like what's for dinner, he gives them a PBJ.

DD has a therapist who really likes DH. I don't anticipate any support there. Therapist says DD could "write the book" on good behavior.

This morning, when the younger one peed on the floor, I said that I hate kids. My eldest cried when I said that. DH was mad at me, but I told him I don't care. I just can't stand this anymore.

I did make the younger one clean up his pee, but he hardly did anything and DH did the rest. I love that DH is willing to help, but it's hard to have consequences for the kids because he spoils them.

This might be the case but it also might be her excuse. My son had a few wetting accidents around 2nd grade. He said things like he was just to busy or forgot to pee but the truth was kids were talking about ghosts and bloody may being in he bathroom mirror. so he was terrified of going into the bathroom alone. We had to stand with him as he went to the bathroom and if we didn't he wet his pants.

They refuse to use the bathroom, even when it's really obvious they need to. Second-grader keeps peeing their pants at school, kindergartner keeps peeing on the floor at home.

My DD had the same issue about holding it. She is much better now, but she just did not want to stop what she was doing to go pee. She had so many accidents, even till second grade. One time she pooped in her pants during summer camp when she was in second grade because she didn't want to use the bathroom at the camp (it was a porta potty and gross, per her).

It got so bad that she ended up having a blockage (poop backed up). It got so bad, she ended up in the ER.

The pain was so bad that she doesn't ever want to relive that pain again, so she now knows to drink a lot and go pee regularly.

It was super frustrating. DD is my youngest, and the older is super easy, but if I had two difficult little kids, I think I would feel like you do.

Is there a routine for your kids? I find kids at that age do much better with strict routines.

I hope things get better for you.

OP, do you have someone who can watch the kids today while you make an emergency appointment with your own doctor? Very concerned that you mention wanting to die; please start with getting some help with your own mental health and you’ll be in better position to improve things.

Anonymous wrote:Peeing themselves at these ages is not developmentally typical (read, normal). Something is going on. I suggest you talk to a pediatrician and a therapist (for yourself).

I’ll follow up on my post because I realized that not everyone has a pediatrician and a therapist they can call. I don’t have a therapist, and my kids go to a large practice. My suggestions could be useless.

Question to the other posters: what are some numbers OP can call immediately to get help? She needs concrete suggestions as she does not seem to have the bandwidth for researching resources at the moment. She does not seem to be in a good state herself.

OP here. I took DD in for an appointment a month ago about the peeing at school. He asked a number of questions and then said she was just so excited to be in person, it sounded like she didn't want to take breaks to use the restroom. The younger one is usually playing and doesn't want to stop to use the restroom.

DH is in the picture but is very lenient with the kids. If they want to eat at bedtime, he lets them. If they don't like what's for dinner, he gives them a PBJ.

DD has a therapist who really likes DH. I don't anticipate any support there. Therapist says DD could "write the book" on good behavior.

This morning, when the younger one peed on the floor, I said that I hate kids. My eldest cried when I said that. DH was mad at me, but I told him I don't care. I just can't stand this anymore.

I did make the younger one clean up his pee, but he hardly did anything and DH did the rest. I love that DH is willing to help, but it's hard to have consequences for the kids because he spoils them.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need IMMEDIATE help. Please call your pediatrician immediately. This is not a discipline issue. Please call - they WILL HELP.

This!

Please call your pediatrician and your own doctor and tell them exactly what you posted here. Your family is in crisis and needs immediate help. So much love to you, please call right now!

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need IMMEDIATE help. Please call your pediatrician immediately. This is not a discipline issue. Please call - they WILL HELP.

THIS. OP, if you are saying you want to die, please call someone. Things *will* get better.

Does not sound normal behaviour at all. What else is happening in your house? Is there a DH in picture?

I am sorry for your suffering.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Peeing themselves at these ages is not developmentally typical (read, normal). Something is going on. I suggest you talk to a pediatrician and a therapist (for yourself).

+1. Most of this reads like normal parenting struggles and discipline problems, but that's a big read flag for something else.

Please do check in with your pediatrician about this. This is a red flag for sexual abuse but also for other developmental issues that could be impacting their behavior.

They need the peeing adressed now. Focus on that if you think there are no medical issues or ask pedi if you suspect medical issues. If you can tackle these issues with focus, life will start getting easier. Find the energy to not let things slide, stay hydrated, take vitamins be good to yourself and ask the same of your kids.

I would spank them. Fuggggg this!