Anonymous
06/03/2021 09:56
Subject: Would you continue contacting this friend?
Anonymous wrote:We became good friends with my child’s friend in preschool. We met them 8-9 years ago and our boys were best friends. The boys ended up at different elementary schools but we put the kids in the same sports and camps. The mom and I used to hang out together with the kids all the time. She took care of my kids when I was hospitalized, brought me dinner and was just a very good friend. Fast forward 4 years and she barely responds to my texts. I realized the parents for divorced last year. It is clear to me that she is not interested in being my friend. We stopped hanging out before covid. Her son still considers my child his best friend. I got the boys together once during Covid and the boy was so happy to see my son.
Would you continue reaching out to try to make plans?
This is a different situation than trying to make a new friend. I know this child must be hurting. The kids are not close enough to just hang out. There needs to be parent coordination.
You said that her son feels that yours is his BFF. How does your son feel? If he feels the same, do 3 hour drop off playdates at your house. If not, let it fade away.
Anonymous
06/02/2021 07:24
Subject: Would you continue contacting this friend?
OP, I think you need to take stock here. Are you good at listening? Non-judgmental? Are you supportive, or when you reach out to her is it mainly because you want something (even something that seems “nice” to you, such as getting your kids together)? Are you available or is your life such that you are busy with both kids and don’t make time for others? What did you do to make the friendship a two way street?
There could be a reason this friend has pulled back from your relationship. I would continue to offer the play dates but just acknowledge that this is a tricky time in her life. “Larla, DC was so happy to see your son. I’d be happy to take the boys to the zoo some time or have your son over — just let me know what works for you. I realize logistics can be tricky so if he needs a ride or whatever I’m happy to pick him up.”
There could be a reason this friend has pulled back from your relationship. I would continue to offer the play dates but just acknowledge that this is a tricky time in her life. “Larla, DC was so happy to see your son. I’d be happy to take the boys to the zoo some time or have your son over — just let me know what works for you. I realize logistics can be tricky so if he needs a ride or whatever I’m happy to pick him up.”
Anonymous
06/01/2021 21:37
Subject: Would you continue contacting this friend?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:soo she was a great friend while you were hospitalized and now that she has recently gone through a divorce and has been less responsive you think you should drop her?
Seriously. This.
There’s nothing in your post that indicates you’ve need a great friend to her.
Have you even asked how she’s doing?
+1. After reading about how great Mom was to you, I was surprised at the ending (you dropping her). Perhaps you have not been a great friend to her causing her to pull back.
I did not drop her. She dropped me. I have reached out to her for the past 3 years.
Have you been a good friend to her? Offered to host her son for a weekend so he can get away from family drama, or to drop off dinner for her or go on long walks so she can vent?
Also consider that many people pull back on relationships when they’re going through a tough time. It’s not that they dislike you, but they don’t feel like interacting with the world. So don’t take it personally. Try to be a friend to her.
jsmith123
05/31/2021 14:57
Subject: Re:Would you continue contacting this friend?
The kids are old enough to have play dates without dual parent supervision.
So I would continue to reach out to plan times your kids can get together. I would also just stay friendly with her. Sounds like it's been a tough year. She may not want to be friends, but she may also be busy or depressed.
So I would continue to reach out to plan times your kids can get together. I would also just stay friendly with her. Sounds like it's been a tough year. She may not want to be friends, but she may also be busy or depressed.
Anonymous
05/31/2021 14:31
Subject: Would you continue contacting this friend?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:soo she was a great friend while you were hospitalized and now that she has recently gone through a divorce and has been less responsive you think you should drop her?
Seriously. This.
There’s nothing in your post that indicates you’ve need a great friend to her.
Have you even asked how she’s doing?
+1. After reading about how great Mom was to you, I was surprised at the ending (you dropping her). Perhaps you have not been a great friend to her causing her to pull back.
I did not drop her. She dropped me. I have reached out to her for the past 3 years.
Have you tried having a conversation about what's going on or why you aren't as close? Was she receptive? If not, you can try that. Otherwise I'd say just keep getting the boys together, be friendly, and then just see how it goes.