Anonymous
Post 05/28/2021 19:19     Subject: Can we all agree?
Men coaching girls sports teams makes about as much sense as women coaching boys teams. None.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2021 17:44     Subject: Can we all agree?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your calls in order should be:
- coach, telling him to stop
- club, telling them what's going on
- lawyer, to look at what can be charged
- police, if possible charges


Agreed but would add the league too - if ECNL then the ECNL legal contact


No mention of ECNL anywhere.


Was an example
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2021 16:53     Subject: Can we all agree?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your calls in order should be:
- coach, telling him to stop
- club, telling them what's going on
- lawyer, to look at what can be charged
- police, if possible charges


Agreed but would add the league too - if ECNL then the ECNL legal contact


No mention of ECNL anywhere.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2021 16:47     Subject: Can we all agree?
Anonymous wrote:Your calls in order should be:
- coach, telling him to stop
- club, telling them what's going on
- lawyer, to look at what can be charged
- police, if possible charges


Agreed but would add the league too - if ECNL then the ECNL legal contact
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2021 16:39     Subject: Can we all agree?
Your calls in order should be:
- coach, telling him to stop
- club, telling them what's going on
- lawyer, to look at what can be charged
- police, if possible charges
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2021 15:13     Subject: Can we all agree?
Personal contact information should not be used for anything besides sending out team information, or in the case of the players late to something or didn't show up and the coach is checking in to see if they are okay or need directions or something like that.

Everything else can be handled in person and should be handled in person.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2021 14:18     Subject: Can we all agree?
We had a rec coach do this to our DD. she didn’t have a phone but he offered to carpool - and then suddenly his DD was no longer in the car. Ew ew ew.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2021 14:15     Subject: Can we all agree?
Anonymous wrote:The worst part is this person probably took safesport.
https://www.usyouthsoccer.org/safesport/


Wow
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2021 14:13     Subject: Can we all agree?
I won’t go to police as it’s not sexual etc but groomers start off “safe” right? I’m going to report it to the board so they can help the club establish new rules.

The person who said the club may not investigate it correctly is right
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2021 14:10     Subject: Can we all agree?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I agree with the texting part, but arm on shoulder? I think I have seen that from every coach we've ever had, male or female.


I agree on that one but the arm came after a few weeks of texting. Groomers are always inching into what they are allowed to do. I think you guys are right, we need to tell the club.

The behavior is unsettling as is other aspects


Please tell the club. Grooming works because it identifies kids with parents who aren’t aware of what’s happening. You protected your daughter, which is fantastic, and now you can protect others too.


This is a very good point about protecting others
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2021 13:56     Subject: Can we all agree?
Anonymous wrote:A male coach texting a young female player about non team information is bad? Inform the girls, check on injuries maybe but daily texts about reminding them how special they are or reminding a young female player how important it is “we stick together” is just inappropriate. I can’t tell my daughter how to avoid certain types of men if a coach does it and she is pressured to accept it.

This is a process called “grooming” and it invokes control and dominance. Probing to look for the boundary. Happens when a coach also pulls a girl aside at team sessions or games with their arm on their shoulder. It’s a difficult conversation to have with the coach and even harder to tell a player to control these things.


OP described classic grooming. I really don't trust a soccer club to investigate that appropriately
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2021 13:53     Subject: Can we all agree?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I agree with the texting part, but arm on shoulder? I think I have seen that from every coach we've ever had, male or female.


I agree on that one but the arm came after a few weeks of texting. Groomers are always inching into what they are allowed to do. I think you guys are right, we need to tell the club.

The behavior is unsettling as is other aspects


Please tell the club. Grooming works because it identifies kids with parents who aren’t aware of what’s happening. You protected your daughter, which is fantastic, and now you can protect others too.


don't stop at the club. At a minimum add in VYSA/MSYSA. I'd strongly consider the police too


This may be a situation where the guy is dumb and innocent. We used to live in a world where people were trusted. Not saying it should go unchecked or reported, but involving the police at this stage is a bit extreme unless the texts are suggestive / sexual in nature.