I would use a milk bank if I needed to, and in absolute extremis might have accepted milk from my sister. I am donating my freezer stash to a milk bank and that process involves bloodwork and medical history, neither of which a Facebook group can provide. I would pump milk if one of my nieces or the child of a good friend needed it.

Eww no, bodily fluids from a stranger, no thanks! Formula is fine (FWIW I breastfed both kids until a year of age)

I exclusively breastfed my oldest child, and then had a set of twins. I wasn't able to produce enough breastmilk to exclusively breastfeed both twins, and for various reasons, one ended up receiving a lot more formula than his twin and older sibling. I felt guilty about it for years, until it became clear that it hadn't hurt him - he is the healthiest of the three, and has the highest IQ.

Absolutely not. It can be diluted, the donor may have hepatitis (even without knowing it), the storage may have been tainted.
Plus there is a recent study that pumped milk doesn't have same benefits as direct breast feeding. And on top of that the benefits of BF are way overblown, Cribsheet by Emily Oster goes over that in detail. In families where one sibling was breast fed and another not there is no difference in health and intellectual outcomes. Breast is best is a massive hoax inflicting misery on new moms.

I've donated through the group, but honestly, I don't think I would ever accept milk from someone I didn't know very well. I do believe the vast majority of the milk donated through the group is safe - after all the effort of pumping, it's really hard to just throw extra milk away. But I could never give my baby something if I couldn't verify its origins.

I wouldn't from a stranger, but I have donated and also given my child my best friend's milk in a crazy one-off situation.

Never. Although in the Vienna Moms Facebook group, people do it. It is so misguided.

I have friends who donated milk and that’s a generous and kind thing to do. However if I needed more milk than I could make, I would have used formula. That’s what it’s for - to feed babies.

I BF 2 kids for 18mo each, but I don’t understand the desire to avoid formula at all costs. I would rather feed my child a regulated product with consistent quality than milk from a person I do not know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would if I had a premie. My friend had a late stillbirth. She was able to pump a ton and donated it through a Facebook group to a medically fragile premie. This arrangement certainly has its place.

There are breast milk banks associated with hospitals. That’s what my sister did when she had a stillbirth. Why would you go through Facebook instead?

You typically need an Rx to get donor milk from a milk bank with a medical indication. Also, pasteurization destroys a lot (not all) of the benefits of breast milk and it is not meant for long-term use. Premies in the NICU need the milk fortified because it isn't sufficient for their needs. In any case, it shouldn't be a long-term substitute for regular breast milk or formula. I only see MD's prescribe it for short-term use because mom's milk is delayed.

This is coming from an IBCLC working in a hospital. Also, I would only give BM from a mother I 100% trust, like a family member. While I truly believe this informal (unpaid) milk sharing is coming from women with an oversupply and good hearts (and clean), you can't always trust their partners. I would worry about mom having some unknown STD and having that passed through the milk.

In any case, OP, don't feel like you didn't do enough for your child!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would if I had a premie. My friend had a late stillbirth. She was able to pump a ton and donated it through a Facebook group to a medically fragile premie. This arrangement certainly has its place.

There are breast milk banks associated with hospitals. That’s what my sister did when she had a stillbirth. Why would you go through Facebook instead?

Because breast milk from these banks costs like $3/oz.

OP, unless your friend asks, it's really not your place to share your opinion. I'm a person who donated breast milk on one of these sites - it was a way to manage a huge excess of milk I had and it felt good to give it to someone who wanted it. I'm pretty sure I would not have accepted donations (or sought them out), but let your friend work out her own risks.

Super risky.

Anonymous wrote:I would if I had a premie. My friend had a late stillbirth. She was able to pump a ton and donated it through a Facebook group to a medically fragile premie. This arrangement certainly has its place.

There are breast milk banks associated with hospitals. That’s what my sister did when she had a stillbirth. Why would you go through Facebook instead?

Anonymous wrote:Would you (or have you used) donor breast milk from a Facebook group if money wasn’t exchanged? It’s a Facebook group specifically for donating breast milk. A friend is using milk she’s gotten from this group, and I realized when I gave up breastfeeding I never even thought about trying to find donor milk, I just switched to formula. There is part of me that wonders if I didn’t do enough for my LO, and part of me wonders if this is safe.

No. I would just use formula. Breatmilk is used for your baby. How can you be sure the donated breastmilk doesn't have drugs in it?

No, I believe there was a Netflix documentary on this. A lab purchased breastmilk from all sorts of online sources to test it. so much of that allegedly clean, 100% breastmilk came back tainted - either weighed down with cow's milk or other liquid for bulk, or feces or some crap. It was disgusting.

It is not worth it. I did nurse my children but if we needed to we absolutely did supplement with formula. I would go formula 1000000x over online breastmilk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God no. Why on earth. I'm not going to let my kid drink someone else's bodily fluid!!! Breast is best is a travesty I swear to God. Please read the actual scientific literature on the benefits of breastmilk. This is a mass effing delusion the men who work at the FDA cooked up.

And btw I'm saying this as someone who breastfed my kids till a year.

+1. I breastfeed exclusively but, yikes, no. Breastmilk banks test for certain diseases and have protections. Buying random breastmilk from Facebook, nope.

She’s not buying it, it’s donated. I looked at the group (“Human Milk for Human Babies”) and one of the rules is that it can’t be sold. I guess the thinking being that if it’s a donation, people are more likely to be honest about what they are donating.

Nevertheless, good to know that my initial reaction of “this doesn’t seem safe” (followed by, I admit, feeling like maybe I didn’t do “enough” for my own LO - thanks for the reality check on that) was correct.

Should I talk to my friend about this? She is a Nurse Practitioner, and I know she has to be aware of the risks. This is her first, and I know so many people told her “Fed is best.” when she was separated from her baby for a couple of days about a week after birth for her own medical condition.

Or do I say nothing? I guess it’s none of my business?

She's a nurse. She has to know the risks. I''d leave it alone.