Your friend wants to be a mother. How that happens is up to her. If you are her friend, you will support her in what is a lifelong journey, instead of overanalyzing the when and how of her first steps.

Just support your friend and be there for her if she wants to talk. We did many rounds of IVF with my eggs and have moved to DE for our next cycle, but are not telling anyone. Even the few people who know about our IVF history will hear that we're "doing another round of IVF" but not the DE part. I just want support and don't want anyone asking me whether I'm using a donor. It's safe to assume that your friend is in fact using a donor, but many people want to keep that private, so please just be there for her and check in on her as she goes through her cycle and let her share what she wants to share. Either way she's going through a lot.

Do you know your friend's entire health history, including reproductive history, conversations with her RE, motivations, etc.? Please be supportive of friend, don't pass judgement, and mind your own business.

I'm sure she knows her chances and has had numerous discussions with her RE, etc, but doesn't feel the need to tell you the details of her reproductive decisions.

I told my friends we are doing IVF and I'm 46. We tried IVF using my own eggs first just to say we tried. We knew the chances. Then we moved onto donor. It's not my friend's business to know our full story and it's not yours either. If your friends wants to tell you more, then she can.

Friend's mom got pregnant at 50. She already had 2 grown children. She terminated.

I also know someone who got pregnant naturally at 47. You never know really.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is very old to have a baby in so many ways.

My grandma had her youngest at 45 (and 6 children prior to that)

In fertility years, 45 and 47 is VASTLY different. It’s not like the difference between 30 and 32 or even 35 and 37. And if you’ve had children before, it can extend your fertility years. But if you’ve never had a child, after 40-42 your body starts to close up shop.

I wish Aunt Flo got this message!!!

My co-worker used egg donation and conceived and delivered a healthy full-term baby at 47. Child is now 16, top of her class, and on swim team. This is in New York;not sure what WDC requires of older moms.

My Aunt naturally fell pregnant (acupuncture) at 47. Her only daughter is light of her life. However having worked in a hospital have seen many older Moms have health concerns—a few RARE bad outcomes. Have her keep up all appointments and plan for a future that hopefully includes her for decades but may not if u healthy, single parent. Expect the best, but plan other outcomes. My Aunt is 70+ now all good, husband 70+ too, daughter 20s thriving and got her Masters So blessed.

My sister had her first at 47. She’s always seemed very young. People always think we are ether same age and she’s 10 years older than me. She used our 3rd sisters egg and is now 50 with a preschooler and she’s happy as can be. She did need to go to Canada for IVF she said because of her age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is very old to have a baby in so many ways.

My grandma had her youngest at 45 (and 6 children prior to that)

In fertility years, 45 and 47 is VASTLY different. It’s not like the difference between 30 and 32 or even 35 and 37. And if you’ve had children before, it can extend your fertility years. But if you’ve never had a child, after 40-42 your body starts to close up shop.