Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That would irk me...but not too much.

Your mother said that it gives her joy to give gifts to her grandchild, and that should count for something. And it isn't really doing any harm.

That being said, a couple things you can do:
1. Continue to have gentle talks with your mom about other ways she can show her grandchild she loves them- visits, trips, experiences, cook together, etc. Also tell her that it would be great if she wanted to invest in her grandchild's future, a 529 or something.
2. Feel absolutely ZERO guilt about donating or regifting some of those items. Gifts comes without strings. And maybe if she sees that the clothes she gives don't last long, she will think of other options.
3. Use the opportunity to teach our child gratitude and charity- make sure she knows these ae gifts and not entitlements. Have her write a thank you note, or at least ring your mom to give a sincere thank you Every Single Time. And when you donate the items, have the conversations about why it is important to share with others.

Ha! My in-laws gave my now 13-year-old 50 bucks in cash when she turned 10. That was the extent of their 'gifting' throughout her entire childhood. The assholes are loaded, just cheap AF.
OP, I'd love to have your 'problem'.

Anonymous wrote:OP here...for those saying I should just let it go, where do I put the stuff? My daughter has an overflowing closet and dresser already, there is literally no room for any more stuff.

Also, about redirecting grandma to buying experience gifts, classes, etc...she can't afford those things. She buys everything on deep deep deep discount - she spends hours and hours looking for deals and enjoys it. She says that she can get 20 outfits for the price of one kid class and we should buy our own classes.

Anonymous wrote:That would irk me...but not too much.

Your mother said that it gives her joy to give gifts to her grandchild, and that should count for something. And it isn't really doing any harm.

That being said, a couple things you can do:
1. Continue to have gentle talks with your mom about other ways she can show her grandchild she loves them- visits, trips, experiences, cook together, etc. Also tell her that it would be great if she wanted to invest in her grandchild's future, a 529 or something.
2. Feel absolutely ZERO guilt about donating or regifting some of those items. Gifts comes without strings. And maybe if she sees that the clothes she gives don't last long, she will think of other options.
3. Use the opportunity to teach our child gratitude and charity- make sure she knows these ae gifts and not entitlements. Have her write a thank you note, or at least ring your mom to give a sincere thank you Every Single Time. And when you donate the items, have the conversations about why it is important to share with others.

Anonymous wrote:Give her a limit and tell her anything after that will be donated. Tell her she is taking away your ability to enjoy picking out clothes for your kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious how your mom would know if you give something away? Does she go through your kid's closets? Because that is extremely creepy.

My mom did this, and I would donate half the stuff before my kid even saw it.

She hypes it up to my daughter ahead of time, like "Grandma's going to buy you this awesome thing! It's almost here! Grandma will bring it next time she comes over!"
Then she absolutely wants to give it to her to see the reaction (or at least get a picture of us giving it to her), so donating before the kid sees it is not an option.

Afterward, she will just say things like "Oh, I haven't seen Larla wear that unicorn sweatshirt in a while, you haven't donated it have you?"

And she does look at her closet sometimes. When she comes over to play with my daughter, say they play at home for a bit and then are going to the playground. So then she takes her to change into an outfit that's more appropriate for the playground, and then they're going through the dresser and closet and she will see what's not there and what is.