Anonymous wrote:Take off belt

Agree with a lot of the previous advice. Make sure that you yourself are correctly differentiating between the “issues,” too. Emotions aren’t monolithic even if some of the outward signs are the same. There’s a difference between breaking down in tears with “Evelyn just said she didn’t like the outfit I put on my doll and wouldn’t let me play dress up with her and Sally - again!” and crying at, “no, I said I wanted blueberry muffins, not chocolate chip!”

I always offer comfort when my children are upset. I think that's a very different thing than giving into whining, which I try not to do.

It's possible you have a sensitive child who may suffer from some anxiety. Ignoring or punishing children with anxiety who are upset generally makes it worse, not better.

Anonymous wrote:Take off belt

Hi, my parents weren't very smart either. Get some parenting help, there are plenty of resources available that weren't available back then.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take off belt

Hi, my dad used to do this to me as a kid and I felt sick to my stomach when I read this.

Hitting your kids does not build resilience. It made me timid and fearful, which actually exacerbated my whining and complaining. It also destroyed my relationship with my parents and caused trauma that I still deal with 40 years later.

+1. Same with my father but it made me into a sneak and a liar. It didn’t change any behavior - I just lied or didn’t let him see it.

I think that PP was some twisted troll.

Anonymous wrote:Op,here. I don’t think we coddle too much. What would you say if she’s crying? I agree that is a ploy for attention. We try not to give attention to the crying. It’s hard because I don’t want to just tell her to buck up.

Why not? Isn’t that the “resilience” you speak of in your title? It doesn’t magically appear.

I think you’re right to empathize with crying. About whining you need to calmly ask them to repeat in non whiny voice every single time.

We do not allow whining. "Do you want to try saying that again without whining? Oops, you're still whining - go to your room and come back when you've calmed down and can talk without whining."

We also say "What do you think you can do to solve this?" a lot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take off belt

Hi, my dad used to do this to me as a kid and I felt sick to my stomach when I read this.

Hitting your kids does not build resilience. It made me timid and fearful, which actually exacerbated my whining and complaining. It also destroyed my relationship with my parents and caused trauma that I still deal with 40 years later.

+1. Same with my father but it made me into a sneak and a liar. It didn’t change any behavior - I just lied or didn’t let him see it.