You're begging and debating too much with her. Don't ask her to do anything at this age. Just tell her. Also don't explain so much. Just say "no we can't do that right now, we can do that tomorrow". And be consistent. Every time you give in to something you said no to first she will cry about it twice as long next time.

We're going to brush our teeth now, lets go. If she refuses, you tell her "You can walk or I can carry you, you get to pick" (calm voice). If she still refuses you then pick her up and bring her to the bathroom and brush her teeth.

And I'm sorry but I would absolutely not expect a 3y to pick up her toys on her own. I'd expect her to chip in with a toy or two when I'm tidying up.

Parent of a teen, here. You need to parent you have, which means not following 'traditional" parenting advice.

Give her choices, the opportunity to be heard and have a voice.

The good news is that the teen years will be easier because you're already used to be her being independent minded.

Anonymous wrote:1-2-3 magic. Read it, implement it exactly.

Also timeouts don’t need to be in isolation or humiliating (face the corner?)... though I sympathize that it can be hard to separate them from their stuff sometimes

Hi there! That is what I've been posting! I am glad to find another believer! I did it long ago and it was a miracle. You just have to implement it exactly. November, I had screaming, fighting 2 and a 4-year-old. November, I had two perfectly behaved kids!
Didn't even have to do time-outs! That is how fast it worked. Because I behaved differently and followed through!

1-2-3 magic. Read it, implement it exactly.

Also timeouts don’t need to be in isolation or humiliating (face the corner?)... though I sympathize that it can be hard to separate them from their stuff sometimes

It sounds like you have tried many things. It's hard to know what is typical behavior with an only child. She sounds impulsive and possibly a bit immature for her age. For safety things like the stove and animals, I would just separate them completely with gates, like you would a toddler. I also think you are probably explaining things too much and possibly offering too many options. If brushing her hair is a big issue, and you can't bribe her with a sticker chart, etc. to do it, I would cut her hair short until she is ready to have it brushed regularly. Make sure you have a very strict routine and calm environment.

She's still a baby OP! She can probably sense your frustration or exhaustion at times and that might make her confused and nervous and more prone to acting out.

In addition to leveraging the parenting books that have already been mentioned, I would try to give yourself a break when possible so you get some time for yourself. Parenting is hard work and sometimes are kids push our buttons, but they're still learning and growing. This is a natural part of the process. This too shall pass!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please do not follow this super nanny example op. Take the courses or one course from above and learn from actual professionals (none of which will tell you to do the above)

Why not? She firmly to a three-year-old, we do not bite. Took him by the hand and put him in a time-out. What is wrong with what Supernanny did with the kid?

+1

That’s exactly what you should be doing. Be firm, direct and in control of the situation. She was not abusive, mean or harsh. Just firm.