Anonymous
05/17/2021 16:27
Subject: Overweight 11 year old boy
Anonymous wrote:Pre-COVID, my son was very athletic. Played on travel soccer, as well as was on the swim team.
COVID hit, and his activity level went dramatically down, and snacking way up.
We took walks, went on hikes, biked around the neighborhood, played badminton in our yard... but it’s not enough. I tried bringing home less snack food... and my husband would go out and buy more (since he’s a big snack-er too), forgetting that I was trying to limit DS.
He’s not fat, but chunky, gets out of breath after running for a minute... no way could he even be on travel soccer if he wanted to.
We have really started to crack down on his snacking, and are trying to increase his cardio. We both have mentioned his weight and needing to make healthier diet choices and getting more active.
But I am also afraid if I make to much out of it, he will internalize it too much. I don’t want him to hurt his feelings or fat shame him.
Thoughts on other things we can do?
Nope nope nope.
Especially if you have an impulse eater, binge eater, or absentminded eater in your house. Do not have this krap in the house. Eat a banana for a snack.
Would you keep an alcohol stash in your house if your loved one was still recovering from alcohol addiction? No.
Anonymous
05/17/2021 16:20
Subject: Overweight 11 year old boy
Anonymous wrote:I actually wished my parents had done more and talked about what I should do to lose weight. It wasn't obvious to me as a middle schooler. I hated team sports, but there was so much I learned to enjoy as an adult that I wished my parents had encouraged: hiking, biking, rollerblading, taking a walk after dinner and working out in the gym.
To cut down on his snacking- just replace it. We have a cut up crudite tray that's child level in our fridge and our kids devour it. Carrots, celery, olives, cut up peppers (that's the favorite), plus on the counter there's always apples, oranges and bananas. Any of those are always allowed. Going into the pantry and raiding it isn't allowed.
I'm a PP, and my now HSer DS said the same to me. He wishes I pushed him more to eat healthier and force him to exercise.
Anonymous
05/17/2021 16:13
Subject: Overweight 11 year old boy
Anonymous wrote:I actually wished my parents had done more and talked about what I should do to lose weight. It wasn't obvious to me as a middle schooler. I hated team sports, but there was so much I learned to enjoy as an adult that I wished my parents had encouraged: hiking, biking, rollerblading, taking a walk after dinner and working out in the gym.
To cut down on his snacking- just replace it. We have a cut up crudite tray that's child level in our fridge and our kids devour it. Carrots, celery, olives, cut up peppers (that's the favorite), plus on the counter there's always apples, oranges and bananas. Any of those are always allowed. Going into the pantry and raiding it isn't allowed.
I wished my parents encouraged fitness and sports more too but it wouldn’t have helped. I wasn’t interested then and am not as an adult. I have to force myself to move. My siblings were naturally athletic and still love working out as an adult. I take walks when I think of it and the weather is good.
As for the child level snack tray, that’s nice but your kids are obviously young. My 10 yo is my youngest and my height. The others are taller than me. We haven’t had a tray like that since preschool.
Anonymous
05/17/2021 14:10
Subject: Overweight 11 year old boy
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I actually wished my parents had done more and talked about what I should do to lose weight. It wasn't obvious to me as a middle schooler. I hated team sports, but there was so much I learned to enjoy as an adult that I wished my parents had encouraged: hiking, biking, rollerblading, taking a walk after dinner and working out in the gym.
To cut down on his snacking- just replace it. We have a cut up crudite tray that's child level in our fridge and our kids devour it. Carrots, celery, olives, cut up peppers (that's the favorite), plus on the counter there's always apples, oranges and bananas. Any of those are always allowed. Going into the pantry and raiding it isn't allowed.
But, would talking really have helped? Or would you have resented it? Now, you wish it, but then... well you don't know how you would have reacted.
Parents need to take action, mostly on their part, you as a kid, nor OP's kid were/are not buying your own groceries. OP clearly said her DH is doing it. He is being a jerk to OP, and he is causing health problems to his son!
What a great effing dad!
I would read him a riot act if he was my DH.
I remember wishing my parents had done it then, when I was young. I remember my best friend started getting more carrots in her lunch and didn't get cookies anymore. When I asked, she said that her family was getting healthier. I was jealous. My family was all obese and I wish they switched out my cookies too. My mom would have just told me not to eat the cookies, but that's easier said than done for a kid.
Sorry! It is tough, no doubt. That is why I hate all the apps on the diet board with eat less, eat less, if it was that easy... well we wouldn't be in this obesity epidemic in the first place! Sounds like your family didn't really know what do to and didn't seek help from doctors.
Hugs!
Anonymous
05/17/2021 14:06
Subject: Overweight 11 year old boy
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I actually wished my parents had done more and talked about what I should do to lose weight. It wasn't obvious to me as a middle schooler. I hated team sports, but there was so much I learned to enjoy as an adult that I wished my parents had encouraged: hiking, biking, rollerblading, taking a walk after dinner and working out in the gym.
To cut down on his snacking- just replace it. We have a cut up crudite tray that's child level in our fridge and our kids devour it. Carrots, celery, olives, cut up peppers (that's the favorite), plus on the counter there's always apples, oranges and bananas. Any of those are always allowed. Going into the pantry and raiding it isn't allowed.
But, would talking really have helped? Or would you have resented it? Now, you wish it, but then... well you don't know how you would have reacted.
Parents need to take action, mostly on their part, you as a kid, nor OP's kid were/are not buying your own groceries. OP clearly said her DH is doing it. He is being a jerk to OP, and he is causing health problems to his son!
What a great effing dad!
I would read him a riot act if he was my DH.
I remember wishing my parents had done it then, when I was young. I remember my best friend started getting more carrots in her lunch and didn't get cookies anymore. When I asked, she said that her family was getting healthier. I was jealous. My family was all obese and I wish they switched out my cookies too. My mom would have just told me not to eat the cookies, but that's easier said than done for a kid.
Anonymous
05/17/2021 14:04
Subject: Overweight 11 year old boy
Anonymous wrote:I actually wished my parents had done more and talked about what I should do to lose weight. It wasn't obvious to me as a middle schooler. I hated team sports, but there was so much I learned to enjoy as an adult that I wished my parents had encouraged: hiking, biking, rollerblading, taking a walk after dinner and working out in the gym.
To cut down on his snacking- just replace it. We have a cut up crudite tray that's child level in our fridge and our kids devour it. Carrots, celery, olives, cut up peppers (that's the favorite), plus on the counter there's always apples, oranges and bananas. Any of those are always allowed. Going into the pantry and raiding it isn't allowed.
But, would talking really have helped? Or would you have resented it? Now, you wish it, but then... well you don't know how you would have reacted.
Parents need to take action, mostly on their part, you as a kid, nor OP's kid were/are not buying your own groceries. OP clearly said her DH is doing it. He is being a jerk to OP, and he is causing health problems to his son!
What a great effing dad!
I would read him a riot act if he was my DH.
Anonymous
05/17/2021 13:55
Subject: Overweight 11 year old boy
I actually wished my parents had done more and talked about what I should do to lose weight. It wasn't obvious to me as a middle schooler. I hated team sports, but there was so much I learned to enjoy as an adult that I wished my parents had encouraged: hiking, biking, rollerblading, taking a walk after dinner and working out in the gym.
To cut down on his snacking- just replace it. We have a cut up crudite tray that's child level in our fridge and our kids devour it. Carrots, celery, olives, cut up peppers (that's the favorite), plus on the counter there's always apples, oranges and bananas. Any of those are always allowed. Going into the pantry and raiding it isn't allowed.
To cut down on his snacking- just replace it. We have a cut up crudite tray that's child level in our fridge and our kids devour it. Carrots, celery, olives, cut up peppers (that's the favorite), plus on the counter there's always apples, oranges and bananas. Any of those are always allowed. Going into the pantry and raiding it isn't allowed.
Anonymous
05/17/2021 13:48
Subject: Overweight 11 year old boy
You mentioned it to your kid ... that only makes you feel better, but in fact, you are shifting the guilt from yourself and your DH to your child!
Do you cook healthy meals?
Do you order food all the time?
How much fast food is he eating?
Who is paying for it?
Actually, no, I understand obesity and the fact that many of us are experiments of the big pharma and the food industry.
But, your "we talked about it" makes me angry. What does it achieve really to put this blame, this burden on a young child, your child, other than making yourself feel better?
None.
The talk you should have had is with yourself and your DH. And the talk should be, "we effed up and our son is paying the price. "
Do you cook healthy meals?
Do you order food all the time?
How much fast food is he eating?
Who is paying for it?
Actually, no, I understand obesity and the fact that many of us are experiments of the big pharma and the food industry.
But, your "we talked about it" makes me angry. What does it achieve really to put this blame, this burden on a young child, your child, other than making yourself feel better?
None.
The talk you should have had is with yourself and your DH. And the talk should be, "we effed up and our son is paying the price. "
Anonymous
05/17/2021 13:48
Subject: Overweight 11 year old boy
Anonymous wrote:You need to make a big deal about the food choices, quietly, in private, to your husband. Your son is 11 and stuck at home. He can't eat too much of the wrong thing if you guys stop supplying it. Do not allow your husband to buy junk and then blame the kid for not being active enough. You really can't exercise your way out of a crappy diet.
Start running with him, or make your husband do it. NonetoRun is easy to follow. I'm doing it with my son (slowly) and I have a bad hip and he wears AFOs 8 hours a day. https://www.nonetorun.com/
Or do jump rope together. That's great exercise. There are some fun videos on YouTube and TikTok. I've been trying to learn but think it may be worse for my hip than the running.
Also, does he have a Switch? Ring Fit also isn't a bad beginner workout, honestly. I prefer the minigames and individual exercises to the story mode, but a child might like either.
OP ignore all of this. Do not do this.
Anonymous
05/17/2021 13:44
Subject: Overweight 11 year old boy
You both have mentioned his weight, but you are worried about bringing it up? Too late.
This is your and your DH's fault. Plain and simple. Unless you are some panic mom and he is just a tiny bit chubby before a growth spurt. This is a common affliction in UMC on dcum, being so disordered yourself that you think a few extra pounds are heavy. What does his pediatrician say?
If he is quite a bit overweight, again, your Dh and your fault.
Yet, you mentioned it to him? What for? You and your DH caused this, but you talked to your 11 year old like this is his fault?
This is your and your DH's fault. Plain and simple. Unless you are some panic mom and he is just a tiny bit chubby before a growth spurt. This is a common affliction in UMC on dcum, being so disordered yourself that you think a few extra pounds are heavy. What does his pediatrician say?
If he is quite a bit overweight, again, your Dh and your fault.
Yet, you mentioned it to him? What for? You and your DH caused this, but you talked to your 11 year old like this is his fault?
Anonymous
05/17/2021 13:38
Subject: Overweight 11 year old boy
Kids rebound very quickly from injury and from being out of shape. It’s not like adults.I was in a terrible car accident as a teen and couldn’t do much but lie around for months. I gained weight and was out of shape from inactivity. As soon as I was able to return to sports, I did and quickly dropped the 30 lbs I gained. Now that I think back to that time, never did it cross my mind that I was not in good condition. I just started running again and rowing and within weeks I was in top condition. When you are young, physical recovery is almost effortless. As a middle-aged person, it’s hard to remember that.
Lots of kids are really out of shape right now, mine included. Summer swim team and a return to activities will sort things out. Don’t pester him or focus on his weight. Just start to add back in activities and let him have fun again moving.
Lots of kids are really out of shape right now, mine included. Summer swim team and a return to activities will sort things out. Don’t pester him or focus on his weight. Just start to add back in activities and let him have fun again moving.
Anonymous
05/17/2021 11:21
Subject: Overweight 11 year old boy
We just went through this with our son. The good news is that growing kids can get back fitness and slim down super easily.
- we did not talk about his weight at all, even when he said, I'm getting fat
- we emphasized how we all need to get our fitness back after quarantine
- both of us parents have reasons to make dietary changes as a family (DH has borderline cholesterol and I am having gall bladder issues), so we are making healthier meals and not having dessert every single night
-DS wanted to play baseball this spring, so DH did a ton of drills with him, some light jogging, batting cage, etc to help get him back into baseball form
--the magic of the young body meant that DS growth made him look slimmer and gain fitness within a few weeks
- we did not talk about his weight at all, even when he said, I'm getting fat
- we emphasized how we all need to get our fitness back after quarantine
- both of us parents have reasons to make dietary changes as a family (DH has borderline cholesterol and I am having gall bladder issues), so we are making healthier meals and not having dessert every single night
-DS wanted to play baseball this spring, so DH did a ton of drills with him, some light jogging, batting cage, etc to help get him back into baseball form
--the magic of the young body meant that DS growth made him look slimmer and gain fitness within a few weeks
Anonymous
05/17/2021 11:14
Subject: Overweight 11 year old boy
My DS went through his "fat stage" from 11 to 14. He's now stick skinny after hitting puberty, but he hated his "fat stage". He regrets not listening to me and working out more and eating healthier.
Anonymous
05/17/2021 11:11
Subject: Re:Overweight 11 year old boy
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So the adults in the family should be vaccinated now so have him play soccer this summer.
We are having him do sports this summer. But he’s so out of shape now we don’t want him to get discouraged.
Have him run. A youth sports coach lives down the block from me, and he made all his kids run daily and he timed them. They did track so he wanted to keep up their conditioning. We are too undisciplined ourselves, but I did admire them!
Anonymous
05/17/2021 11:04
Subject: Overweight 11 year old boy
Forget about the weight per se, but you need to get his cardiovascular fitness and endurance back up if you want him to play sports. My 11 year old likes playing tennis and soccer with his dad, he is also willing to jog if his dad goes with him. Try to focus on activities like that.