PP and I respectfully disagree, and I’ve toured at least 20 infant programs here in DC and have a background in early childhood education. To all those disagreeing with me, go take care of 3-4 infants for 8 hours a day and report back on how it went and how much time you had to spend with each one giving them cuddles and nurturing. The ratios are the problem and the lack of government subsidies for early childhood Ed, particularly for infants and toddlers whose need for individual 1:1 relationships with a caregiver is much higher then that means need for socialization that older toddlers and preschoolers benefit from. 1:3 or 1:4 makes it very hard for caregivers to do much beyond meeting basic needs.

Anonymous wrote:What you’re describing is unacceptable but sadly very common for infant daycares. The accuracy of those sheets is a joke - both centers I had my DD in really were awful about them. It’s really virtually impossible with 1:3 or 1:4 ratios for infants to get attentive, loving care in traditional child care centers. The teachers basically just give bottles and change diapers and document all day long while rotating the kids onto the floor, in devices. in cribs, and out for a required walk (at least in DC but often staff try to skip them due to weather). It’s not their fault, the ratios don’t really allow kids much more than having their basic needs met. If you can at all consider a nanny share I would absolutely encourage you to. Nannies aren’t perfect and come with their own set of challenges but I think would be so much better for you. Infant daycares just generally stink, unfortunately.

Wow. Sorry that this was your experience, PP, but please don't malign all infant daycare settings based on your individual experience. I will say that we had a wonderful experience with our three children in the infant room at our current downtown DC daycare. The teachers were wonderful, incredibly attentive and caring (I know because they would frequently contact me on their own time to inquire about the children, and still do even though they've aged out of the infant room), and, having spent time in the infant rooms nursing, visiting, and attending one of my kid's PT sessions, I observed them interacting with and forming relationships with children through play, reading, music, art, etc.

The OP is right to be upset about her experience, but it is not accurate to say that this is the norm in infant rooms at childcare centers.

Anonymous wrote:This isn't universal for infant daycares at all. I provided pumped breastmilk and they would leave the unfinished bottles so I knew exactly how much he was eating. I ended up giving up pumping and just coming down to nurse for a while after a bout of mastitis (the daycare was in building) and so I saw the infant care a lot and all thr babies were regularly held, given bottles, and did activities.

You don't need a nanny to have reasonable expectations of infant care. OP's experience is by no means universal.

+1 there is a lot of fearmongering about daycare on this board, those of us lucky to find great centers find OP's experience odd and not normal at all.

My advice is start by checking licensing inspection history of a daycare. The best daycares don't have a laundry list of violations. Then if you can visit, observe how engaged the teachers are. I toured a center once where the teachers looked miserable, the director waffled when I asked her about turnover, and lo and behold, I see parents complaining about turnover on Facebook. You can also look at the quality system ratings (EXCELS in MD for example) or accreditation, though these can be expensive to achieve and there are many great daycares without them. Finally, and especially if you can't visit in person, try to get parent references. No, they won't refer you to someone who hates the place, but it can be telling to listen to how much these parents like it and what they like about it. For me, turnover is so important. If it's high, not only are the teachers not happy but in addition the children don't have consistent caregivers.

This isn't universal for infant daycares at all. I provided pumped breastmilk and they would leave the unfinished bottles so I knew exactly how much he was eating. I ended up giving up pumping and just coming down to nurse for a while after a bout of mastitis (the daycare was in building) and so I saw the infant care a lot and all thr babies were regularly held, given bottles, and did activities.

You don't need a nanny to have reasonable expectations of infant care. OP's experience is by no means universal.

What you’re describing is unacceptable but sadly very common for infant daycares. The accuracy of those sheets is a joke - both centers I had my DD in really were awful about them. It’s really virtually impossible with 1:3 or 1:4 ratios for infants to get attentive, loving care in traditional child care centers. The teachers basically just give bottles and change diapers and document all day long while rotating the kids onto the floor, in devices. in cribs, and out for a required walk (at least in DC but often staff try to skip them due to weather). It’s not their fault, the ratios don’t really allow kids much more than having their basic needs met. If you can at all consider a nanny share I would absolutely encourage you to. Nannies aren’t perfect and come with their own set of challenges but I think would be so much better for you. Infant daycares just generally stink, unfortunately.

Anonymous wrote:we got almost-real time updates on an app every time he ate, pooped, or was wet. We also got pictures throughout the day. They were also really good about calling me if they thought there was anything I needed to know or if they had questions. The center wasn't perfect, but the communication was superb.

This should be your expectation of a daycare for an infant.

some infants are great eaters, others are difficult. If the latter, the center should be doing everything in their power to get it to eat the amount you specify

Just want to say I'm so sorry you're going through this. This sounds horrible. You are absolutely not being unreasonable. I was really nervous to start my DD at daycare because she is underweight and historically did not do well with bottles and our daycare magically got her to take TWICE as much milk as we were able to give her. She jumped from 2-3% to 8% since starting daycare. I hope you find a place that you feel great with. For an infant, you should know about every single feeding and diaper change. Our daycare doesn't have an app, but we get a daily sheet we call her "report card". I think there are pros and cons to an app. I miss the photos and details but I like knowing that the teachers are focusing on the kids rather than being on a phone/ipad filling out an app and responding to parents.

Not unreasonable. Definitely follow your instincts and explore other options.

Anonymous wrote:At what age do parents reasonably expect the daily sheets to stop? Is it a legal requirement, center policy, or teacher specific?

My in-home in Maryland gives detailed reports into age 3: feeding, diapers, nap time, moods and other comments as necessary.

Anonymous wrote:At what age do parents reasonably expect the daily sheets to stop? Is it a legal requirement, center policy, or teacher specific?

My kids go to a center, and I still get daily reports for my 3 yo that includes when they slept, when and what they ate (or didn't eat), and when they used the bathroom/what came out. They have an app that logs everything in a few taps, and a report is automatically e-mailed at the end of every day.

Anonymous wrote:At what age do parents reasonably expect the daily sheets to stop? Is it a legal requirement, center policy, or teacher specific?

I can only speak to Maryland, they only require until 1 year old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone for your input!! I'm gonna start researching other daycares and seeing what our options are

Forget to say earlier: I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, OP! Putting a kid in daycare during Covid was so hard for me because we couldn’t drop in and check on them. It really sucks that you have to deal with this on top of all the other things going on with having a three month old. <3

Thank you! It's definitely been tough but we're doing the best we can. Really glad to have these boards to get some advice since we don't know too many people in the area either

My son was at a Bright Horizons center as an infant and we got almost-real time updates on an app every time he ate, pooped, or was wet. We also got pictures throughout the day. They were also really good about calling me if they thought there was anything I needed to know or if they had questions. The center wasn't perfect, but the communication was superb. It set a high bar for subsequent child care situations. I will also say that even though the ratio was the regulated 4:1, it was almost always smaller. They hire floating teachers that help out with lunch/diapers/etc so that the lead teachers can put the babies down for naps or whatever needs to be done. The administrative staff also floated in and out to help out. So that helped with the communication because there were just more hands helping out. I'm not sure this is happening during covid though.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone for your input!! I'm gonna start researching other daycares and seeing what our options are

Forget to say earlier: I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, OP! Putting a kid in daycare during Covid was so hard for me because we couldn’t drop in and check on them. It really sucks that you have to deal with this on top of all the other things going on with having a three month old. <3

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this an in-home daycare? And are the activity sheets in the contract? If they're skimping on them and telling you outright they'll only do them when they feel like it - it doesn't sound like it.

IME you get what you pay for.

Way to stereotype in-home daycare. My DS’s is responsive and gives daily updates and pictures.

Yeah we recently moved and switched out toddler from an in-home to a center, and at least during covid times, I felt better informed from the in home. We never even see the center teachers due to the drop off procedure whereas we could still talk to the in home provider every day if needed. We have a toddler, I feel like the infant stage would be tough right now.