Depends on how kind she is to the kids. I could set up reminders, but it’s hard to find caring nannies.

I would let her go. I say this as someone who had a similar nanny for two years and toughed it out until the kids went to daycare. She told me about how much she loved reading and then admitted she didn't like it at all and struggled to read. It turned out she had a learning disability. I could have dealt with that but she also would not do more demanding tasks or follow instructions. It was horrible and we all ended up suffering from it as I spent two years completely overwhelmed and trying to provide instruction and reminders that were constantly ignored, and my kids gained weight from the unhealthy food, got little enrichment during the day, and had a tired and overwhelmed mother taking care of them the rest of the day.

How old are your kids?
I ask because I’d be a little concerned about what else she isn’t doing.
We had a nanny who came with a great reference. There were little things that were off (frequently late, forgot to pick a kid up, broke some rules about things the kids were allowed to do), but she always had an excuse and seemed so nice I made allowances for her. Finally my kids started telling me about things she did and it turned out she basically ignored all the rules. She was just lazy and irresponsible. We were nervous about telling the kids we were firing her because she seemed so nice and bubbly around them, but it turned out that they literally cheered—when we weren’t around, she just ignored them. It took us 8 months to put this all together.
I always wonder who she is working for now. Clearly I did not get a call for a reference!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some mothers expect their nannies to mother exactly the way they would. Some mothers also start controlling tiny things as a way to feel to deal with parenting guilt. If you have nuggets for “emergencies” (meaning only when mom wants to use them), maybe the nanny doesn’t believe the allergies your children have are real allergies. I know some daycare providers who regularly feed lactose-sensitive children dairy products because they maybe subconsciously think their mothers are inventing things to control.

Good grief - that is child abuse. Those providers are negligent. So what if mom saves nuggets for her dinners - she's the boss!

It’s not good. But consider from their perspective: they have regularly fed this child dairy products and...nothing happens. Except the mom complains (like the OP). What do the providers think? “Well, mom says Larlo is allergic to milk and red dye. Except he constantly colors on himself and eats Darla’s string cheese.” The stereotype that wealthy children have inordinate numbers of invented diseases is as old as Victorian hysteria.

Same assholes who think they’re being clever by giving me gluten contaminated food. Yeah, I look fine while I’m eating, but you ain’t there for the hours of stomach pain and diarrhea later, jerks m

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some mothers expect their nannies to mother exactly the way they would. Some mothers also start controlling tiny things as a way to feel to deal with parenting guilt. If you have nuggets for “emergencies” (meaning only when mom wants to use them), maybe the nanny doesn’t believe the allergies your children have are real allergies. I know some daycare providers who regularly feed lactose-sensitive children dairy products because they maybe subconsciously think their mothers are inventing things to control.

Good grief - that is child abuse. Those providers are negligent. So what if mom saves nuggets for her dinners - she's the boss!

It’s not good. But consider from their perspective: they have regularly fed this child dairy products and...nothing happens. Except the mom complains (like the OP). What do the providers think? “Well, mom says Larlo is allergic to milk and red dye. Except he constantly colors on himself and eats Darla’s string cheese.” The stereotype that wealthy children have inordinate numbers of invented diseases is as old as Victorian hysteria.

So we are old school and still use a paper calendar/ planner. I would write down the activities and times each day and be specific about meals for a while. This is if you otherwise like her.

Anonymous wrote:Some mothers expect their nannies to mother exactly the way they would. Some mothers also start controlling tiny things as a way to feel to deal with parenting guilt. If you have nuggets for “emergencies” (meaning only when mom wants to use them), maybe the nanny doesn’t believe the allergies your children have are real allergies. I know some daycare providers who regularly feed lactose-sensitive children dairy products because they maybe subconsciously think their mothers are inventing things to control.

Good grief - that is child abuse. Those providers are negligent. So what if mom saves nuggets for her dinners - she's the boss!

Some mothers expect their nannies to mother exactly the way they would. Some mothers also start controlling tiny things as a way to feel to deal with parenting guilt. If you have nuggets for “emergencies” (meaning only when mom wants to use them), maybe the nanny doesn’t believe the allergies your children have are real allergies. I know some daycare providers who regularly feed lactose-sensitive children dairy products because they maybe subconsciously think their mothers are inventing things to control.

Op, --IF-- you can find someone better, you are entitled to a preference.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I would absolutely recommend getting a new nanny! If she can’t handle simple things like pick up times or what to feed the kids, how do you think she’d handle an emergency?

- a nanny

This, especially since you said that there are dietary restrictions that she's ignoring!

Yes, I would absolutely recommend getting a new nanny! If she can’t handle simple things like pick up times or what to feed the kids, how do you think she’d handle an emergency?

- a nanny