I don't understand why you are upset. Mother's Day is for children to celebrate their mothers, and your children did that. You are raising them well and should be proud!

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. Your husband is a bum, and the ladies in here defending him based on their husband's actions, your husbands are bums too.

Guys know what to do. They know the things to buy. There's no forgetting. He simply doesn't care.

+10000

Anonymous wrote:I’m about to go pour some tequila over a mango fruit pop and call it a day! End it on a high note OP!

You’re incredible.

Guy here. Your husband is a bum, and the ladies in here defending him based on their husband's actions, your husbands are bums too.

Guys know what to do. They know the things to buy. There's no forgetting. He simply doesn't care.

Your feelings are valid. Of course it is lovely to have cards from your children. There is no harm in wanting to have some special recognition from your spouse about all the love, energy and hard work it takes to be a mom. Particularly during Covid, it seems like a good time to take every opportunity to celebrate and this was a missed opportunity. On Mother's Day (and Father's Day), it is a chance to recognize any mother or father, not just your own (for those that say the husband shouldn't do anything). But also, if you want something from husband for Mother's Day, you just need to tell him. He clearly doesn't know that on his own. And, if you do tell him and he won't do it, do it for yourself. I have heard my mother in law cry because in 50 years of marriage, it has never occurred to her husband to buy her flowers once. He's a fool because it would literally take $15.00 to make her the happiest woman on the earth. Some people (female partners included) just don't get it and never will.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not each other's parents. I don't understand this.

Again, when kids are little, you get involved to instill a tradition and teach them appreciation. But once they are old enough to take that over...you step back.

Not saying you are wrong or alone in this...but I just can't relate to it at all.

Um, it's about showing a ppreciation for the mother of your kids, thanking her for doing a good job as their mother etc. Is it really that difficult?

I have never interpreted it this way. In the families I know, you thank YOUR mother for all she has done for you.

I feel like a spouse should not have to thank you for doing your parenting job. It is the expectation for reponsible adults.

Anonymous wrote:So last year I got exactly nothing for Mother's Day. Not a card, nothing from the kids, nada. I was upset - I mean, can't you even have the kids make a card or something? and later on got the guilt flowers from the grocery store.

This year, husband is working in another city, so we're not together. My kids stepped up and gave me nice cards and a picture from each. I got a phone call from my husband, that's it.

I have never been huge on gifts for Valentine's, Mother's Day, even our anniversary. I was tying to just chill out about it but then my mom sent a text saying she hoped I got some beautiful flowers. Well, I didn't. And of course I have always been the one that has taken on all the responsibility for sending my 7 nieces and nephews gifts, flowers or gifts for my mother in-law for her birthday, anniversary, Mother's Day. IF I didn't, my husband wouldn't even think about it.

I'm not sure it's worth me even telling him anything. But it just feels like crap.

Positive reinforcement. Praise the heck out of your kids.

Stop all the extra stuff for DH's side of the family, he can deal with it. I seriously don't understand why women do this to themselves.

Anonymous wrote:So, none of you get anything from your husband for Mother's Day? Seriously nothing?

Do you get nothing for your husband for Father's Day? I usually get a card and something small for my husband. And vice versa for me.

These are the ladies who are just happy to a man. It doesn't matter how the man treats them just as long as they have a man. These are also the ladies who were telling the OP of the 2 weeks no call thread, that she was playing games if she told the guy she could see him next week because the day of was too short of notice. Pick mes as the kids say, and expect all other women to want to be treated as piss poorly as them, but if you ask them they are feminists and above it all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not your husband's mother

Your kids honored you. That's the point of Mother's Day.

+1!!!!!

How many times are you going to post this today? You've done it in multiple threads and now you are agreeing with yourself. Stop trying to make fetch happen. Be a better husband and get your wife a Mother's Day gift or raise your expectations for your husband instead of trying to bring everyone else down to your bottom of the barrel expectations.

Anonymous wrote:You are not each other's parents. I don't understand this.

Again, when kids are little, you get involved to instill a tradition and teach them appreciation. But once they are old enough to take that over...you step back.

Not saying you are wrong or alone in this...but I just can't relate to it at all.

Um, it's about showing a ppreciation for the mother of your kids, thanking her for doing a good job as their mother etc. Is it really that difficult?

We don’t do gifts for M and F day. My kids still handmake cards or art projects (they’re tweens) and we eat yummy food and go hiking or something. I don’t have to cook or clean all day. It’s plenty for me!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And hand over responsibility to your husband for sending gifts to his family. If you want, you can put dates on the calendar but it is up to him to do it. I dropped the rope on that several years ago and it is freeing. And it will help you resent your husband a little less.

Yeah, this is what I should probably do - I just worry that it doesn't get done. And everyone is right to say, oh well, natural consequences, but I actually like my MIL and don't want her to think we don't care. Maybe I'll tell him I'll send a card and everything else is on him.

If it doesn't get done and she's hurt, she can take it up with the son she raised.

By the way, if you have daughters, you are modeling for them that women are responsible for family dynamics AND how people feel. If you have sons, you are teaching them that gifts and acknowledgments and holidays and family connections are women's work.

Stop. The. Cycle.

Your kids gave you home made cards. That is nice and appropriate. Now stop sniveling and order yourself some nice take-out and enjoy it with them. Then, let them watch a movie while you take a bath and read or watch Netflix. Cheers!

Anonymous wrote:So, none of you get anything from your husband for Mother's Day? Seriously nothing?

Do you get nothing for your husband for Father's Day? I usually get a card and something small for my husband. And vice versa for me.

I got nothing. I expect nothing. He knows this. I usually get a car, we we go out to eat. But, I am the crab lady and I am alone. He easily could have sent something, but I do not want it. DS is having finals and so is my DD.
I don't have young kids, to expect DH to organize it. Plus, do you know how expensive steamed blue crabs are?
What more could I possibly want?
If you want something, say so. Your DH and kids clearly don't know it, can't ready the situation, and in the end, who is "crying inside?" You. I'm too old for that self flagellation and have no qualms about doing what I want.

You are not each other's parents. I don't understand this.

Again, when kids are little, you get involved to instill a tradition and teach them appreciation. But once they are old enough to take that over...you step back.

Not saying you are wrong or alone in this...but I just can't relate to it at all.

Anonymous wrote:So, none of you get anything from your husband for Mother's Day? Seriously nothing?

Do you get nothing for your husband for Father's Day? I usually get a card and something small for my husband. And vice versa for me.

No, my husband and I do not exchange gifts or cards for MD/FD.